I've been working on eye contact a lot lately because people tell me I look like I'm not listening or I have crazy ADD or whatnot. The past month I've goaled to make longer eye contact than the person I'm interacting with and it just makes me feel drained. Also there's time where I'm just not interested in what the person's talking about.

The other day I was talking with a guy, we got into a good conversation and I held really good eye contact (much longer than his), but it made me twitchy and I could see that he picked up on this and started acting similar. This has happened quite often. It gets bad if I get into a conversation with an uncomfortable girl because I will slowly start mimicking her behavior if I am not attentive enough or become overly conscious.

What's the best way to remove anxiety during listening sessions/conversation and remain calm with the intent to not mimic others uncomfortable body language during conversation?

I am also way too receptive of others people's feelings in a negative way (although I know this a huge strength if used correctly). This makes me a great listener with women and guys, but I fall into the role of psychologist naturally and can't stand that shit. People drop all their emotional baggage on me because I am attentive and show receptive feelings. That needs to change ASAP.

Firstly, if they are dumping their shit on you, it means they are comfortable, which is good, but you need to turn the conversation to positive feelings... and sex

Secondly, what you are experiencing is called "mirroring" and you two I likely doing it to each other. You might start it by acting anxious, which from what you are describing might very well be the case. What you need to do is learn how to relax. Center yourself. So that you are observing rather than mirroring their anxiety and behavior. Meditation is the key to this, but to be honest, that is one of my big problems. Girls get nervous around me a lot, and so they make me nervous. I tend to avoid them after I notice this even though I know that this kind of nervousness is the very best reaction you can get from a girl.

Perhaps trying not to stare people down. It's hard to learn. There seems to be a balance between strong positive eye contact and eye balling people until they become insecure.