Hello Gentlemen,

I would like to be able to dance better in clubs. Can you help?

I only really do it when I'm drunk because I'm very self-concious dancing when sober. I would like to be confident enough to dance regardless of alcohol intake.

I have often asked people how I should dance (90% of these being girls) and they say things like:

"feel the music"

"count the beats to four in your head and move your shoulders to it."

"look like your enjoying it"

"it's all about confidence"

"watch what other people do"

None of these maxims have actually helped me. It's a bit like losing a game of football (soccer) and being told that I lost because should scored more goals. (Of course I'm grateful for the advice).

So what I would like to know is what sort of dance lesson should I undertake in order to become a confident dancer when dancing in clubs? Salsa? Ballroom? Street? (Not very me though) Latin? What? Once I'm confident doing it in a lesson I'm sure dancing in the field will be easy. (I'm mean when out not literally dancing in a field, although I'm too self-conscious to do that! Even if it was dark and only bemused cattle could see me.)

Another thing people say is "get the girl to teach you to dance". This isn't something I would like to try, I would not find this fun (I've read people on here advising that). It may work for some but I don't like the idea of it. I would like to impress her by being able to dance already.

So please advise best you can on what lesson I should do. (I don't want to commit to one type of dance and find out a few weeks in that it can't be applied to real life dancing) I would love to hear from someone who once felt the same as I do now, decided to learn to dance and now is a smooth-mover.

Thanks for reading my question fellas. (This is my second ever post. I love reading all the post and questions, this site has really help my game. However dancing is something I need to sort out)

Me

I think i have the same problem...

Although, sometimes I just get this feeling like ...
I don't wanna hang around the bar all night, fack it, I'm goin' in bitches!

and just try to be 100% confident and just do something, not trying to be a compleet retard ofcourse, but I always watch other ppl dance, 90% i think it's crap if i copy it, so how are they doing it?

First of all I would instantly go to the 'hot-spot' and try to get attention, by being 'loose' and attractive', you know what I mean and go Kino pretty fast is very nice to do this.

First I got a headbut cuz I stole some ones game, although think it was clearly a AFC .

Guys there's really only one obvious choice when it comes to dancing. Rock and roll. I know a lot of friends who do it and it looks awesome, they pick girls up, throw them up, grab them everywhere etc. You really become much more secure and confident with women because there's so much touching involved. And it's fun. I'm going to start with it this year. Good luck.

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"To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say. "
René Descartes

I would ideally like to be better at 'rock and roll' dancing. If only there were such a thing as a dance lesson in rock dancing!

try learning salsa. usually salsa clubs are full of women

To be honest I dont think being a good dancer helps a great deal in clubs. I have learnt house/hip hop dancing for the last two years (out of interest, not to game) and done other kinds of classes just every now and then and I feel it almost hinders you as it leads you to take yourself too seriously on the dancefloor. `Am I doing the right steps?´, when in reality no one actually cares.

I think it really doesnt matter how bad a dancer you are, if you are on the dancefloor and looking like your having a great time and smiling then i think people will be attracted to you.

My advice would be to
a) just do whatever you feel like on the dancefloor and look like your having a great time and
b) learn a style where you can meet women in the process of learning, i.e. partner dances like salsa, tango etc. In my experience these classes really struggle with ratio (too many girls, not enough guys) so everyone is always happy to see you.

I'm going to copy and paste an article I found on another forum and saved a while ago because it was so good. Again, this is not mine, but wisdom that has helped significantly


"Hey y'all, so this is just my opinions coming from a professional dancer.
First up in case anyone has the wrong idea Dancing on its own definitely WILL NOT get you girls. Trust me on this. Strong conversational skills are infinitely more helpful, so if you think that learning to Dance is a shortcut to pussytown then you may be wasting your time learning something you may not even use...do an improv /speech class instead. With that said, if you genuinely enjoy Dancing then it can be the most powerful tool in your arsenal, regardless of your skill level. If you can count from 1-8 in time with a song then you can dance. If you can nod your head and tap your foot then you can dance.
GROOVE vs CHOREOGRAPHY (Dancing vs Doing Moves)
To a dancer these are basic terms but you may not be aware of the differences.
We all know what choreography is. All dance schools teach it. Turn on MTV and see it in videos. You learn a set of movements and repeat until it's memorized. Beginners doing choreography will not look like they're dancing, they will look like they're "doing moves" to the music. A trained dancer will look like they're dancing because they already have a groove behind the moves.
Groove is a feeling. It's when you walk into a club and they're playing one of your favorite songs. You can't help but move, it's almost as if the music is telling your body how to move, what to do. This is Dancing. You can't dance choreography without groove, but you CAN groove without choreography. This is what's known as freestyle. Making it up on the spot. Dancing without thinking about what move will come next. This is what everyone should strive to do. Relax, feel the music.
The thing about Groove is that it's not easy to teach and 90% of dance studios out there wouldn't even know how to teach it. Most of what we all think is Hiphop dance is actually just Modern moves choregraphed to fit commercial RnB music.
REAL Hiphop is party dancing. Real hiphop is BBoying. (By the way if you're talking to a dancer NEVER use the term "breakdancing." The mainstream media coined this term and it's actually offensive to BBoys. It's called either BBOYING or BREAKING. Also while I'm on this topic please do not use the term "Pop-Locking". You have POPPING and LOCKING which are 2 different styles).
BREAKDANCING/BBOYING/BREAKING
If you are thinking about learning how to Break to help with the ladies don't bother. Breaking takes months and even years of dedication and training to become proficient. B-Boying is not just a dance it's a lifestyle. With that said, Breaking is an awesome style and easily the most impressive to watch. The downside is that it requires a lot of room, at times you're rolling around on a probably very dirty floor, it's physically very demanding and you can't Break with a girl. What you can do is accidentally kick a girl in the face. (seen it many times and done it myself. Drunk girls never look where they're going.)
HIPHOP
Let's face the facts. Most dance school don't teach real Hiphop. Most can't teach you how to Groove. If you want to learn Hiphop enquire with the dance studio first. Do they teach Groove? Do they know the difference between Groove & Choreography? If they don't try somewhere else. You may be lucky enough to live in an area full of real dancers. I'm not. I taught myself from watching videos online and practicing by myself (definitely possible!!!)
Real hiphop dance is perfect for clubs, especially the ones that play Hiphop/RnB. It' relaxed, it's funky, it's made for grinding with women and showcasing your character.
LATIN STYLES
Latin styles are money. The steps are relatively simple and the styles are based on touching women and manipulating them into different positions. We call this Leading. Most people only know of Salsa but there are a lot of different Latin styles. Salsa is fun but personally I find it a bit cheesy. Also not every girl will know the salsa steps, but most can instinctively follow a man's lead. A style I've recently discovered is Zouk, a f**king sexy Brazilian lambada. It's slow, sensual and the hips stay locked together. You turn the girl by guiding her lower back or even by the neck. I saw a Zouk master from Brazil in action who I refer to as the Puppet Master. He was dancing with 2 girls at the same time, turning and twisting them into all these different positions and they knew exactly what he wanted them to do. It was simply amazing. So if you are interested in learning Latin Styles I highly recommend Zouk.
But at the end of the day, any partner dancing (Latin, Ballroom, Jive etc) will be beneficial. You will learn how to dance while holding a woman in your arms. Most importantly you'll get comfortable holding and leading beautiful women in a controlled environment.
HOUSE
OK, what if you got a girl that only likes Electronic Dance Music? Good news is that you can use a Hiphop groove to dance to House or any similar styles (Breakbeats, Drum'n'Bass, Techno). There are also some specific styles that you can learn that came from the Rave/Dance scene. House Dancing is a very cool style. It's almost a combination of Hiphop, Tap, African & Capoeira. The House groove is called the Jack. This style goes well with Funky House/Minimal/Hiphop music.
SHUFFLING
Also know as Melbourne Shuffle, this style usually only works with faster music like Trance and Hardstyle but can also go well with slower styles like ElectroHouse. This style involves a quick shuffling/bouncing of the feet combined with a smooth, gliding motion across the floor. Most Shufflers appear as if they're stomping on bugs or having some kind of epileptic spasm, but it can be made to look good. Not the easiest style, but it is good for attracting attention with minimal space required.
Someone mentioned Reggaeton/Dancehall. This is an excellent style too. Very loose, very sensual and very good for grinding with girls. A lot of popular songs are starting to incorporate Dancehall sounds and it's a relatively easy style to learn while still being impressive due to the large movements and distinct island groove.
Then you've got styles like Jazz, Contemporary, Popping, Locking etc... there's hundreds of other styles out there. I would only recommend them if you take a liking to that specific style and you want to learn it for yourself. A lot of styles can be counterproductive if your goal is to use dancing to aid seduction .
So if any of these styles sound good get on Youtube and have a look. There's a lot of shit dancers online so watch a lot of videos to find the skilled practitioners. Next find tutorials online or call up a local dance studio to see if they have the style you want.
Practice as much as you can. You will get/stay fit while improving your body movement, posture, flexibility and balance. Warm up and stretch everyday. If you get stuck try a new style or listen to some new music. Go out and dance with girls. No expectations, no talking, just dancing. Follow her lead, try to lead her even if you're a beginner. If you're enjoying yourself and being respectful she should react positively.

Hope that helps "

Everytime I read that article I learn something new! Gah its amazing, hope it helps you the same way it did me!

I personally took a ballroom dance class and enjoyed myself immensly. Sure, I may never use what little bit of foxtrot or waltz but learning to get so comfortable holding and leading girls was invaluable.

I do a lot of swing dance now and that would definitely be a style to learn. Jitterbug has a basic step that can be learned in 5 minutes by just about anyone, but has an endless variety of moves you can do.

I tried Argentine Tango and found it to be seductive and intimate and super intense. The crowd was a lot older than me as well, mostly being middle aged and older couples with one or two other college students.

The only place around where I live to learn salsa is a bar/lounge that does 1 hour salsa lessons then dancing on sunday nights. Once I'm 21 I plan on going every week, but until then I don't know too much about salsa other than the basic. I know it has a lot of crossover with swing though, even being called the cuban swing.

I go to a social dance hall every friday night for swing, and lately I've been experimenting with making my dance a little sexier. Swing is usually bouncy and creative and fun. If you go on youtube and look up PICKUPDANCE I've been trying some of his moves and so far they've been a big hit. (try his cheesy dance moves, you'll have a blast no matter how bad they are! In fact the worse you do them the better they become! )

I'll do the wrap and pull a girl in front of me instead of into sweetheart position, then grind lightly on her for a bit. Then I'll run my hands up her sides and put her hands into the air, run my hands back down her curves to her hips and hip turn her out into a spin! Or I'll pull her in to a close embrace front to front and drop my left arm, holding frame with my right arm on her back and actually leading with our inner thigh connection. I want to make her go left, I push lightly with my leg on the inside of her thigh to make her go that way.

There's a 2 minute youtube video called "hottest Zouk dance ever" that I watched once and use every night. Its simple and easy to learn, but I wouldn't try that on a complete cold approach. I might dance with the girl once and do some fun twirly things and gradually turn up the heat. I'm a lot better at dancing than pickup to be honest, but one thing I remember reading was that girls are volume knobs when it comes to escalation.. its not like a light switch where it just flips and its on. You turn up the heat slowly until the knob is cranked to 11 and she's loving it! But if you try to go straight there it's a little much.

Well,I'm learning popping right now.
I know some basics of breakdance and I want to learn Hip Hop to combine all this.
Hip Hop and popping going pretty well to almost every music and if there's Hip Hop\RnB\Dubstep\Breakbeat music it's great for breakdance.

I learn dancing although I'm still not going to clubs etc.
And the only problem I'm facing right now is How should I dance together with a woman? Thanks to everybody who would answer this question for me/

I learned lindy hop swing, blues, argentine tango, and took a few classes in west coast swing, salsa, tai chi, and bellydance. The resulting stylistic combination is the ability to partner dance freely to almost any type of music, with almost anyone.
Compared to those styles and the social scenes around them club dancing is really not that complicated or difficult.
I've discovered, and admittedly I've only been to a normal club once (a few crossover things like live blues bands at a bar though) and have been to clubs from the social dance scene hundreds of times, but it was my observation that social dance girls want to dance with you BEFORE deciding if they want to talk to you or not. It's a physical chemistry thing.
In the one normal club I went to everyone seemed to want to talk first and check you out and see if you're cool before dancing. They were doing the same thing as the social dance girls but in exactly the reverse order. I found it frustrating at the time, but amusing looking back.

If club dancing is your thing, or you want it to be your thing I'd recommend learning a few simple turns, take a month or two of salsa or swing group lessons. Stop before it gets complicated. This is important because if you try to do a swing-out, or backwards ocho's into a lunge, the average hottie will be confused and not feel good about herself. Keep it simple and fun, with a few basic moves to spice it up so she can really feel good. And watch pickupdance.com to learn how to take those moves and transition between them and some more connected forms of grinding.

In a normal club environment verbal communication is more important. Having a good personal clothing style, confident bodylanguage, and being social and holding conversations seems to be the recipe for success in clubs.

salsa, definitely salsa.

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Keep improving every day...

I like bachata. So sexy.

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I have to return some videotapes...

agree... Though if the girl is not attracted to you its creepy..
and once you r good... mm... all the girls wanna dance with you...
get Kino, sexual tension... can KC without saying a word..

p.s. we talking about european not dominican

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Keep improving every day...

Yeah, it is creepy if you don't know the girl. In my dancing school you have to bring a girl if you want to practice bachata.

as for once you're good, like 10 days ago in havana bar i saw a cuban instructor dancing bachata and he was so amazing. everyone just stood there and watched him with envy.

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I have to return some videotapes...

xaxa, the story of my life ^^ (will be soon)
What might come as a surprise that no matter if I dance with a stranger it doesn't come up as creepy. Guess my vibe just takes over her...

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Keep improving every day...

I actually wrote this a few years ago, glad it helped you out.

So I'm still out there and always looking for new ways to utilize dancing to help seduction. It is such a powerful tool, it can save you a lot of time and generate massive amounts of attraction.

Now, would you guys like to know the moves that women find the most attractive?
I found a scientific study that measured that exact thing and the results were a little surprising.

http://www.livescience.com/8595-study-m ... -love.html (I can't post links yet)
Using computer-generated avatars, psychologists say they have unlocked the dance moves that will capture a woman's heart. Apparently the speed of a man's right knee and the size and variety of movements of the neck and torso are key, they suggest.

Right knee + neck/torso

If that's true, then the best way to groove is simply to use your shoulders/upper body to ride/bounce to the beat. Mix it up by leading with your head (think Stevie Wonder but more subtle) and then have the torso following that.
Mixing it up/variety is key.
Freeze during a snare-clap, or when the beat slows down go really slow.
When the beat kicks back in, upp the intensity. You'd be amazed how much you can do just by standing on the spot and letting your upper body go.
Experiment with different levels of tension
It's a very simple way to move but it shows you have control and rhythm. You can also be doing this while holding strong eye contact.

The right knee I was more confused about. There's only a few ways you can bounce/rotate your knee without doing damage to it. But what it seems is that it's better to lean back slightly and rest all your weight on your left leg. With all your weight leaning back (a typical hiphop/pimpgangsta pose) your front right knee is free to bounce and move around freely. Keep this subtle, a simple bounce to the beat is fine to compliment the upper body.

Relax your body.
Be comfortable, feel the music (even if it's shit it's still got a beat, find it)

So there you go, a scientifically validated way to dance in a club that's very simple and will get women attracted.