Hey there,

I recently met someone that's quite introverted. She has difficulty opening up and it's difficult to build rapport and I'm wondering what approach to take. She demonstrates closed body language (crossed arms, knees often drawn up to her chest / chin).

I would like to initially work on communication and getting her to open up and express so I can move forward with building a relationship. Should I be:

a) Use mirroring techniques and try to get on her level. This way I can try and synergize so she can slowly open up by mirroring body language and showing that I'm going through similar shit. I too am introverted, just not to this degree. The problem with this is I don't want to seem weak and unfit by doing so, and potentially ruining escalating this from a romantic perspective.

b) Focus on charisma, open body postures & low tone, being the man, more extroverted. I find this approach may isolate her as she feels it's hard to open up to people anyway, however more toward 'being her man'. It's just so hard to pinpoint what she's looking for.

Either way I'll work on rapport building by asking open-ended kinesthetic questions. "how do you feel about this?" / "Do you sense that will help?". These have helped her open up a bit, but it's hard to know what tonality in body language / tonality to take. I am aware I need to be myself, but either approach really is me usually depending who I'm talking to in normal life.

Thanks in advance!

i hope that you understand that the concept of mirroring indicates attraction. but i dont that will help in this case. i think you're focusing too much on the body language and not enough on the verbal content of the interaction. in the sense of body language for gaming this girl, dont be too dominant, have a relaxed posture, keep your hands out of your pockets, and throw a hand gesture occasionally. but with someone has frigid as your girl i would be very careful about the kino escalation as it would easily upset her. so i think the way to predominantly open her is verbally by building rapport.

building rapport is a very interesting process. in order to build a great emotional connection one must choose to talk about things which have deep emotional content. it does not matter what the girl does or likes, you can connect with her even if you have dissimilar interests. as you know all occupations and hobbies are completely different in their complexity, principles and structure, but there is one thing which all of them have in common/share "EMOTIONS". one must be empathetic and show a girl that u understand why she chose to do that job or hobbie by expressing the emotions that one feels when doing that activity, it shows that you're really trying to get to know her, and she will think "wow this is a great guy to talk to, he's making an effort to understand me, but wait, i dont know anything about him" and this will compel her to ask you questions and u can freely express yourself how ever much u want as long as u express urself passionately and positively. all the men dont do this at all and do not understand how much empathy is a powerful force and openly allow themselves to be perceived to see a girl superficially. you can use the concept of 'rapport' to ur advantage as well.

get used to asking more open-ended questions e.g. "what have you been up to?" or "What did u get up to today?", dont use questions like "wats up hun?", thats a closed-ended question which the girl would simply answer and she wont give u much material to work on in order to reach the hook point.

and connect on her answers in a positive way. dont be afraid to tease her as well. dont be afraid to create impact. when telling a girl about a situation that happened to u on that day or in the week, give more details about it, women love details. it is also good to read the local news paper, women are usually very aware what happens in the world, u should as well. u can get her point of view on something in the news (nothing to do with which celebrity had sex with who) e.g. political, environmental, sociological etc and then she would ask you what u think and you can manipulate the conversation which can lead anywhere u want.

another way u can have an "endless conversation" is the principle of "Question, statement, Question, statement, Q, S, Q, S etc". so u ask an open question, receive the answer, and then make a statement about the last thing she said in order to ask a deeper question. this process can go round in a circle, it can go on for ages.

Hope that i have helped. happy gaming dude