I don’t know how I should react to certain situations.

A few examples;

It was my ex birthday. The “old” people- her family- were sitting centered in the room while my GF and me sat isolated from them on a couch. All of a sudden they asked us to come sit with them. This is how the conversation went:

Them- Why don’t you two come here and sit down with us?
Me- ‘No thank you, we’re doing all right over here ’
Them- ‘Ah..PLEASE?’
Me- ‘No really, I’m ok ’

*My girlfriend decided to go sit down with them and signed me to come sit next to her*

Them- *Annoyed* ‘Don’t be like that’
Me- ‘I said I won’t and that is my last respond’

So, they finally shut up and while my girlfriend was in the kitchen they asked me something I didn’t understand.

Me- ‘Come again?’
Them- ‘Are you deaf? I Said; Do you have a big COCK?’

I was like:…. Wtf…. And stood up and said; ‘I’m going upstairs and I hope you enjoy your evening, goodbye ’

How should I have respond? What a guy said in another post was that you shouldn’t be emotional effected by someone’s approach.

By not replying its like I am intimidated by them, but by replying I’m effected emotionally.

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When I’m having a discussion with someone, he or she will get irritated when I base things on logic, for example;

Me- *Beeing logical*
She- That’s crap
Me- Why do you feel that way
She- That’s why
Me- I don’t like your tone of voice, you should keep It down. It’s a shame I can’t have a good conversation with you.
She- Bla bla bla, just be quiet.
Me- …
She- Be quiet.
Me- I think you’re immature
She- I think you’re a dick.

I can come up with tons of examples where I am not sure how to respond. It’s like every way I respond the other always ‘wins’

Isn't there a 'how to' on these things?

First of all, I am curious about what would have been so bad if you came and sat with them (since your gf was already there). To me it sounds like you were sitting by yourself on the couch while everyone else was socializing.

(Correction: I see now that your girlfriend was in the kitchen and it was just you and them talking without her presence)

But anyways, as for the big cock thing, I would have responded playfully and/or somehow put the ball back in their court since they pretty much put all of the spotlight on you:
Some possible responses are:

- You: What? You want to me pull out my penis?
Them: No, we...
You: (interrupting them) Oh my gosh you guys are weird. lol

- =D You want to see it? (stick your hand in your pants)

- (Pause...then point directly at the person's mouth)
You: Open your mouth. (you have to say this with alpha behavior)
(after he/she opens wide): Yeah, that looks about right.

- (If a girl asked you) Wow...that's pretty forward of you. Are you hitting on me?

These are just off the top of my head, I am sure you can come up with some others on your own, but the basic principle is when challenged ALWAYS put the challenge back on the other person.



Oh and as for the second situation you gave. The thing to keep in mind is to NEVER argue emotions with logic. Women will always argue with emotions and rarely will they actually argue with solid hard facts.

Remember, no matter what you say to a woman, if you argue facts and logic with her you WILL LOSE. It doesn't matter if you are 100% right in the situation. Does that make sense?

I was enjoying my time with my GF and didn't feel like centering myself like that. I also didn't want to give in to what she wanted from me so I tried to be a confident alpha. I already sat there with them 80 percent of the day, so I just wanted some peace and quiet for myself. I guess that's reasonable? I was just really annoyed by their behavior towards me and when the woman replied with the cock question I kinda flipped.

Your responses are great, but is it something you always do when someone else is disrespectful to you? Sure it seems that you’re not emotional affected, but isn’t there a boundary where you tell them that this isn’t the behavior you accept?

I know it make sense what you said about women and emotions, but what can you do? In a way the woman will always think she wins no matter how you respond?

If a girl has a problem, I try to solve things with logic, but as you state this isn’t the right way to do it. But HOW do you do it then?

Another guy told me this;

Don't tell her anything , you cannot convince woman with logic because from a psychological perspective they are emotional creatures which backward rationalize a lot. If you try to get a message across with pure logic she might rationalize it to anything just to justify her own actions.
remain emotionally unaffected , ignoring is being reactive and defending a mental standpoint is reactive - don't qualify to her.

at picking up girls : if you ignore a girl most of the time they presume you are intimidated by them and/or respect less , if you defend your point from a logical standpoint you are caring what others think of you or your ideas thus you are putting others way above yourself. If you don't care and when you know you're right you are active and remain emotionally unaffected - this is in my opinion self respect and value.

when someone is having a problem they want you to confirm their reality by telling them how bad it is and how much victim they are or they want you to tell ''it's ok'' so they can feed their own negative reality without taking action to change. if you are not acting to their behavioral patterns or reality they tend to push you out of it , people want you to react negative so they can feel like a victim and do nothing - or they want you to react with '' it's ok '' so they get a feeling of acceptance and repeat their issue over and over because they identify with the problem - they want you to tell them it's ok to identify with it - they want you to tell them it's who they are.

When people see someone who is successful or rich they say '' he doesn't have the same problems that i deal with, he is lucky '' you hear that very often because people don't wnat to step outside their comfort zone and that is why they want other people to confirm their problems - people rather create artificial inner struggles instead of stepping outside their comfort zone and fear the death of ego. almost all people who are successful did put tremendous amounts of effort in their work and most people are not comfortable doing it so they make excuses not to do it. Instead of talking about the problem... please talk about solutions instead of asking other people to feed their ego. if you are relaxed about everything people assume you have success to some degree because you are having something they have not : being relaxed.

It’s a bit confusing because there are opposite suggestions.

EDIT;

There is this girl that asks me why she isn't attracted to a guy that is very sweet to her. The only way I can help her is with logic; telling her why. But she will not understand because she is an emotional creature...

I guess all women are doomed in this world

Great advices here.

Nostradamus, you are totally right when you say there is a line between playful joking and blatant disrespect. We teach people how to treat us.

When confronted with a comment that is completely disrespectful, say something like this: (From Carlos Xuma)

(Key idea: Don't react out of anger.)

"You know what NAME, I've been pretty impressed with your good manners...up until now. I personally just don't find put-downs attractive from anybody. I expect more respect than that. You probably also expect the same respect from me, wouldn't you?"

Make it clear that you're not gonna become a dick over this, but that the person has just hurt his or her own standings with you.

Now obviously you could change it around for the cock situation you described, but it would be better to make sure their disrespect is more direct because a comment like "how big is your cock" is not as blatantly disrespectful as someone deliberately putting you down (i.e. "I bet you have a small penis!")

I fully recommend you download The Flow by Dan Bacon (from The Modern Man)
and Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion by Carlos Xuma. These two materials have helped me like no other when it comes to specifics of how I interact with people.

Also Alpha Man Conversation & Persuasion is really nice because it also applies to areas in your life outside of pickup, and The Flow will give you great perspective on the whole Logic vs. Emotion dilemma.

I'm currently listening to 'how to win friends and influence people' as I speak.

But sometimes there are situations where none of the advise that has been given works.

Quote;

"You know what NAME, I've been pretty impressed with your good manners...up until now. I personally just don't find put-downs attractive from anybody. I expect more respect than that. You probably also expect the same respect from me, wouldn't you?"

Sometimes people will just laugh at my face when I try that, the same thing when I'm not being a dick over it.

It’s always hard to be prepared when someone says something out of the blue. People always try to dominate you and always walk away satisfied in the end even though they are full of it and what they say doesn’t make sense at all. If he is a dominant figure, the no brainers/followers always agree with him.

Some just don't give up unless you fight them and when this is the case, it doesn't matter what you say.

Nostradamus, it sounds like you just need to go out and make some new friends if the people around you are used to treating you in this way.

What you say does matter if the other person you are talking to feels like you respect him. Respect others, respect yourself, and you will be respected by others.

But on the other hand, if their is no mutual respect right now, you are better off using the energy to make new friends rather than to try to revive a dead relationship.