Hi all first post here so go easy.

Firstly i have a gf who i have been happy with for 4 years so i'm not trying to improve my social scene in order to upgrade just yet. However, i do want to improve my social scene and remove some of the deadwood from my current lineup without causing problems or upsetting people.

So basically i've had the same group of friends since school and didn't make new friends at uni because i was preoccupied with coming back home to see my friends and gf. As we've grown older some of that group have taken a bit of a bad direction in life. A few are into drugs and do it every weekend and i don't want to be involved in that stuff. Have shit jobs and haven't grown up at all.

My job doesn't lend to meeting new people because it involves me sitting at home on my computer most of the day. I do get involved in some local sports but most of the guys are just the same old work all week in a crap job and do drugs and get wasted on weekends. I want to move away from that type of person/mindset and meet new ambitous and succesful people.

I make a good living doing my job but i am not one to be flash or brag about it so maybe people assume i am a low value loser because of my dress sense/normal car and so on.

I don't have a facebook and i think the site is a bit shite so i'm hoping that isn't the only answer.

I just want to find people like myself who are succesful, don't do drugs, have attractive/confident friends and partners. Talkative and interesting, people who are proactive and phone you with ideas and organise things themselves. I often feel i am the only one who does all this stuff amongst a lot of my friends.

I also feel like keeping such bad company for so long may have reduced my own value within the locality and in turn reduced my opportunities with better girls and potential ventures.

I don't dislike these friends in particular i just feel like i've outgrown them and i have a much better perspective on life and much better prospects and as such i want to share my time with similar people rather than doing the stuff we did when we were 16/17 (now early 20s).

Any views on this situation or ways to improve it and network with some new people would be appreciated. I should also mention my gf feels the same about the majority of her friends and we both just want to move on and improve.

I hope i don't come across as arrogant or two faced and i feel like this is probably a common theme especially amongst you guys who are into a lot of self improvement.

Thanks

You can look for social groups. Although Facebook would probably be the easiest way to network and find like minded people. If you don't wanna go this route I'd suggest just get outside of your house. Go to the mall. Meet people. If you can approach women you can approach men, make friends.

I've found a lot of close friends just by being outside my house living life. Being friendly. Being outgoing. Hope this helps.

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Man, know exactly how you feel. Its so fustrating! Learning and doing this stuff what not only be easier, but so much more fun with someone whos on the same level as you and just wants to live life and succeed as much as we do.

Its like, I ask friends to come into town and meet some girls "oh, I just cant be bothered today(or next day etc)" "it would never work" "theres no hot girls there"

such Bull shit. You listen to a friend say "ah I want to get into this/do this" I tell them ok man go for it, ill even go with you to try it "ahh nah man I cant cos...."

or they fucking complain about not having women! Dude! Ive been asking you if you want to come get some for ages, dont fucking complain. You put in no effort, you get no fucking results! Its like nobody wants to go through any hardship to get anywhere in life, they just want to be spoonfed and stay completely risk free. Id rather live man.

but on one hand whilst you get so frustrated with these people, they're still your friends, whilst you know they slow you down, you still meet up and whatever.

Its a tough one to crack, its like in the end you gotta just learn how to be in a fun good state when your out on your own

Really fucking wish I could meet someone who wants to make life happen and go out and live it like me, any ideas as to where these people are?

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Shared interest with anyone is high value! the low and High value thing is stupid! who the hell has the right to judge who is low or high value, so ur a millionaire, but you don't mix with ordinary people? why? you learn exacly the same things from ordinary.. especially when you have the same interests.. the more people you no the better! high or ordinary! who cares man.. be down to earth.. because you never no when you need someone.. a friend is a friend.. that is high value.. if you only mix with high value friends do you think that women will pick up that your snobby?? or even the high valued friends you want to friend with they will pick up your snobby!! I understand that you want to get away from druggy's, yeah thats alright but rembember be friends with all kinds of people whom you share your interests with because it will open more dooors for other friends, and it will show that your a friendly open guy which accepts all kind of life, and another thing is... you can also become a leader.. now can you become a leader of men if your trying to befriends guys who are literally better than you! NO! your a sheep literally!! a leader is the highest value of all!! gotta be!! aprt from being yourself(personal opinion)

I know exactly how you feel as I am in a similar position myself. I have been seeking an attractive lifestyle for years and I've always wondered why its evaded me. I realised that part of the reason I never had it was because of my friends, many of whom would go to the shit clubs and pick up (or attempt to) the same skanks and usually don't get anywhere with it. The truth is I think that I too have out grown some of my crew. A lot of them are still at university/college and all they care about is getting binned but the truth is I've moved on from that scene. I'm fed up just getting wasted every weekend, I got blind drunk 2 Friday's ago and properly embarrassed myself and I grew out of being one of those idiots that throws up in the city centre and gets taken home by the police a long time ago!

I still want to keep in contact with my old friends but like me, each one is his own worst enemy. I've been having a little brainstorm and I think I should try something totally different to make new friends. I'm considering starting rock climbing just to try it and/or taking up martial arts again. I want to meet ambitious and strategic people and above all I want to model myself on and become one with the attractive lifestyle I so desperately crave.

My advice would be to do something like that- just get out there and take up a hobby like kayaking- if you don't like it then i'm sure there is something else.

Also as far as work goes- what is it you do? Their may be forums online for people who do similar stuff which could be good for not just meeting friends with similar interests but also for building good professional relationships too.

hope you find this helpful.

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hootsmon