I think this is my biggest issue. I have lived an active life, being in all kinds of groups and sports teams. However, none of them involved the meeting of many attractive and single women. They were mostly guy stuff, and any women that came would do so because of thier boyfriends.

I made an observation recently of one of poker buddies and his brother. They're both confident, funny, and all around great guys. However, the guy I play poker with spends most of his time doing small, organized activities like me. He gets very little attention from women. His brother plays in a band on weekends at crowded clubs. Needless to say, he has more female attention than he knows what to do with.

I see all these posts telling guys how to be confident, cool guys, but it seems more important WHERE they are confident, cool guys. I've been to bars and clubs before trying to figure them out, but I can't seem understand how to conduct myself or what to do there. The type of interaction that goes on is not something I'm well versed in.

Is there a good way for guys like me ease into this more social-based lifestyle? The newbie missions don't help much, as they're too easy and I've never had a problem talking to people.

The biggest thing you can do to help yourself IMO is to make sure you have a positive energy when locking your door on your way out. The key to positive self esteem (or negative self esteem) is to have positive self talk. Make yourself excited to be going out to privilege the public with your presence! When you walk into the bar act as if everyone notices that you are glowing with positive energy, throw a smile to everyone without looking at anyone specific! Have you noticed that you can pick people out of the crowd who are cooler than the rest in less than a second? That's the energy I'm talking about. Talk to bartenders like they're your best friends. They have to be nice if they want to get paid well (and they usually are cool anyways) and thatll help you get your mojo flowing. When getting my BA in psychology I did a study on why so many people love dogs so much. The data supports the theory that it is because dogs are always smiling and people respond favorably to that positive expression of emotion. So be a dog, smile and bring the same I'm glad to be here energy that your dog gives you when you get home. Also theyve done studies that show that when your brain senses you are smiling it releases more feel good enzymes, so effectively by getting yourself all hyped up your just starting your popularity engine.

Hope this helps,
Vernon

Having read this i just had to answer it.

Firstly.

Learn to play a fucking instrument.
Join a band.
I am nearly 40 and must admit i have only one regret.
Should have learned to play the guitar years ago.Or the piano.
Whats a few years out of your life.

What the fuck else do you have to do in life.
You will be alive a long time trust me.

secondly.

You pretty much asked and answered your own question.
Guys in a band get girls.

Billy joel

Uptown girl.

He honestly said the only reason he learned to play the piano was to nail chicks.

The best pua's are musicians or artists.

Think about it...........its obvious really.

Join a band.

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Its getting Hot out there.

Its all to easy.

I want to be a tree!

No it isnt, im a master guitarplayer and i dont get girls at all for that. maybe if i played more gigs. Maybe...

I played in bands for years and it certainly helps, but only if you're playing music that lots of girls like. No point being the best death metal guitarist because in that scene there are 5 guys for every hot girl. Where as Indie-Soft Rock like the Killers or something you are in a great position to meet babes.

But the real issue of how to meet more girls and ease yourself into a social situation, why not try engage just the guys in those places to start with and let them introduce you to girls until you become more comfortable in those places.

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Even the most naturally gifted can learn to become better.