Last July I posted on here that I would like to learn to dance, lo and behold I did just that. Last November I started doing salsa lessons. The main reason is because I would like to be able to dance in clubs whilst sober and enjoy it. Not felling stupid or self-conscience.

After going twice a week for 8 months I STILL FEEL STUPID AND SELF-CONSCIENCE!

I just can’t seem to dance at all! So I’m asking if anyone here can advise me on mastering the inner-game of dancing.

Why do I care so much about dancing? Well this isn’t so much about Pick-up, this is just about me enjoying myself and if it leads to getting a lady then great! In fact I was listening to a phone-in thing conducted by Neil Strauss solving then problems of AFC’s like myself. And he said that Mystery always taught him to avoid the dance floor! I can see why, if you’re a great social artist/PUA but an average dancer then this could undo your game inadvertently and unnecessarily. Great. The thing is I want to be able to dance, it seems fun but I can’t do it! Maybe I should just not bother, but I don’t want to be the only one out of my friends who isn’t dancing. This has happened on innumerable occasions. And yes a PUA would just go ant talk to other girl’s not just stick with his friends but I’m not quite at that stage yet.

From reading about NLP I can confirm that I’m not an audio person. I’ve never learnt to play a musical instrument and until doing salsa I would never listen to the beat in music. Salsa dancing is all well and good because it’s a series of set moves with a partner, dancing in a club is free styling but I still can’t get it. I even worry simply bobbing my head and moving my shoulders for fear of getting it wrong. I can’t even jump about to rock music either!

Any advice at all would be very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading this guys.

PS: I’m still not very good at Salsa and I’m starting to feel like giving it up because I struggle so much with just getting the six-step timing right!

PPS: People I’ve spoke to about this problem say things like: “go home, play a ‘dancey’ song and just dance like no one is watching.” I can’t even bring myself to do that!

Dancing isn't about technique, it's about relaxing, letting go and just enjoying yourself. If you stop thinking about what other people might think of you, it will show through and that in itself is attractive.

You have to just let go, n go with the music. Dancing is like fucking...u can learn moves, but its all about how you food and how you let it flow through u. You shouldn't have to think about dancing u should just start. When u really start to feel the music just stop holding on to any ideas n get lost in your dance. Like now dancing us basically a girl grinding on u n u keeping up...its literally dry humping so if u can fuck...u can dance.

dancing really is about letting go! although you don't want to do it to the point where you look like a fool! you don't need to be a great dancer to meet girls on the dance floor. just comfortable. i really don't do the couple dancing thing. i learned there's too much competition out there from other guys. i really just club dance. it's more conducive to gaming on the dance floor. i suggest checking out this guys website. he's really really good. he taught me and i'm sold on dance floor game! i love it and prefer it to verbal game!

http://www.flirt2thebeat.com

WOOO a Topic I can relate to because I'm a dancer. Like being a PUA, being a dancer is the same exact way. You gotta practice and do field work to basically get good at it. Dancing is all about a what you hear in the song, so generally speaking the song should dictate how you move. For example you wouldn't start using rigid moves to a smooth song like Forever by Chris Brown. To be effective in the club scene you really don't need to know really fancy moves and have too much musicality (accenting certain parts of the song for example the melody rather than the beat). What you do need to know is how to groove because there really isn't room in the club to do anything fancy. Grooves are generally moves that can be repeated like dougie-ing and the two step etc. Use these as your base moves and then create variation from these moves. A variation can be stepping a certain way, moving your arms in a different direction, adding moves etc. I would consider learning Hip Isolations and Body Waves. You can find tutorial videos on these two topics online. I would post a link, but I haven't met the required posts on here to do that maybe later I will. Anyway good luck.

If your talking about dancing in a club DONT.

All you do is sorta move yourself with the music in a cool way left to right. Bust a few moves every now and then. Dont try too hard or youll like a white guy on the dance floor.

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Bow chika wow wow

Hey man.

Inner game won't help you dance better. Training will. Here's your inner game frame: EVEN IF I AM THE WORST SALSA DANCER IN MY CLASS, I AM STILL THE MOST COMFORTABLE PERSON HERE. That' all.

I've also been taking salsa lessons since november 2010. And till last two months I was really horrible. And now I fucking rock.

Here's what happened. I was also told to relax, not to count beats and stuff, but didn't work for me. You cannot relax and enjoy if you havent reached unconcious competence. Instead, i went from 2x1hour a week lessons to 8 hours a week. Luckily our school is short of men and they let me dance in various groups of different levels. And even with different instructors. And i've started going out to salsa clubs at least 2 times a week.

After 2 months of hard work I just didn't recognize myself. Things just clicked and I was enjoying myself. And then the real LEARNING takes place. When you are eager and ready to learn and try out something new. Last week I hit a girl in the nose with my elbow, but hey it happens. And I hear people commenting on how much I've improved, not that I give a fuck what they think.

So, it's all hard work. Like The Game. Like everything in life. 10 000 sets and the world is yours...

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I have to return some videotapes...