Hello Chaps!

This is my very first post.

I’ve been reading lots of the discussions on this site and they have all been truly wonderful of blissful inspiring. Obviously I would love to stop being and AFC but before I take the step to becoming a PUA I would like to have a strong social group first. This is what I need help with.

Ever since I was a teenager I have wanted a big group of nice, genuine friends. Who doesn’t? However whenever I’ve met people who had a big group of friends they were usually arrogant and cocky. On occasions I would befriend the arrogant one and meet their group with the express view of joining. But then I would always find that the rest of that group would also be cocky and arrogant. Or I would befriend someone who I knew was attached to a strong social group. I’d go out with them, meet this group and instead of a great time I would just sit on the periphery whilst their group all shared private jokes and stories. In other words a ‘clique’. Yes they were polite to me but I’d still feel left out. What I realised is that big social groups all tend to have a similar outlook and attitude towards life.

Things like that happened to me in my late teenage years and now I’m not so naive and know what sort of people to befriend or avoid. However the desire to have a big group of friends hasn’t left me, my problem is that I have several close friends, fine, but they don’t all know each other; I’ve never really introduced them. So I end up just doing things with one over person, which is a bit dull.

My problem is with what I call ‘cross-friend-pollination'. I’m terrified of introducing two people I know in case they don’t get along and I’m stuck in the middle. I’ve noticed that popular people don’t give a shit about things like that, and they just invite everyone everywhere regardless. Another scenario is that say I’m invited to a party, great! Horary for me! But I want to bring a mate along, I’m worried that my mate won’t have a good time and will feel left out (I know that’s pathetic of me!). Or the other end of the spectrum is that my friend might do something stupid, embarrassing himself and subsequently embarrassing me.

So all these stupid beliefs of mine really hold me back. What has renewed my interest in a strong social group is because I met a girl who has hundreds of friends, and she’s one of the nicest, kindest persons I’ve ever met, and people just gravitate to her. I realised that having lots of friends isn’t the preserve of the arsehole and the nob’ead*. I too can have a great social group.

I’m quite a confident person and I can and do talk to anyone and everyone, but I just don’t seem to make any long-term friends, just meagre acquaintances. These fair-weather friends usually fall by the way side after a few months.

I’ve joined an MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) class and am friends with almost everyone there (even the double-hard bastards!). Occasionally we all meet up as a big group. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of them outside the class but I worry that if I say “would you like to come out with me and a few mates this Saturday” I’ll look a bit gay. And suppose they say yes, and they do come out on Saturday and only one mate of mine turns ups, it’ll be a washout because I’ve made it sound like they’ll be loads of people there.

Sorry for such a long winded essay of a post and I know this is all about the art of pick-up. What got me into this was reading ‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss, and as much as I was fascinated by his tales of ladies it seemed like the social side of things was truly incredible! So I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t understand the ethos of this entire website. I just want to get more friends before I get more women.

In conclusion I would like you fellas to advise me on where I’m going wrong. It’s always been my ambition to have a fantastic social life; I would rather have that than a good career! Honestly! So today is the day I’m going to change it all! Please advise and don’t pull your punches!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. Fancy meeting up on Saturday? “No I don’t’ you queer!” See! That’s my stupid brain!





*For any Americans ‘nob’ead’ mean ‘nob-head’ i.e.: dickhead, i.e.: a man who isn’t very pleasant! (Like what Americans call a ‘Jock’)[/size]

your looking into things to much you need to have a who gives a fuck attitude cross pollinate your 7 close friends this will be your group 9 out 10 times they will get along if not fuck it your not losing anything your only gaining your in a win win situation stop worrying so much

I'm in complete agreement with the above comment.

You say you would like to start a social group, yet you tried "joining" one.

If you Join a group, dont expect them to be like you.

If you Start a group, then you need to be a Leader. Leaders do not worry, overthink or over calculate. They do what they need to, and go with it.

Game, in its essense, is social manupulation. This can be interpreted as a form of acting, since your not saying what you feel, but will commit certains acts just to achieve a specific end result. This also means, thinking aloud with an open heart wont achieve the great results.

In short, if you want to be popular, you cant be yourself with everyone. Keep you real self for your close friends, and learn to make socialising an art form.

I speak from experience - I'm a recognised name, and people sit in my web of connections.