Hey guys, put this here as I figure it may be related.

I'm having a problem with making people who I think are friends actually reciprocate that. I mean, I hang out with people and all, but it doesn't seem like they actually care. I'm just 'that guy'. They never call me up and ask me if I wanna come along to their things and such, like they do to each other in the group. I'm just the guy who will come along to things if I find out about them and ask if I can come, but they'll never ask. They'll even tell me about what they're doing, but never say 'hey, wanna come?', they usually ask what i'm doing and i'll say 'nothing' as usual, but they don't offer anything, and then I'll have to ask, looking desperate. It just feels like they don't give a thought to me, like i'm just some random still, even though i've known these people for years. They never talk on Facebook to me like they do to each other. If I organise stuff they usually say they're doing other things, which are usually parties and stuff, which they really should offer to invite me to instead, as a proper friend would.
Obviously, this affects my game greatly as I'm never out, so I don't have a chance to pick up or anything. It also makes me look very beta and like an outsider to girls looking at the group, which isn't a very good look.
Anyone have any way I can strengthen these bonds? I'm sick of having to ask people what they are doing and if I can come, this should be second nature as they should be treating me like equals.

Well, their might be a couple of reasons why they don't invite you whenever they go out. But long story short, they don't sound like good friends to me...Only when its convenient for them do they let you hang with them.

If they (your friends) don't invite you out, then just go out on your own. Nothing in the PUA rule-book says you HAVE to have a wingman. Plus you can meet new friends, people who actually may want to hang with you. But when you do go out, have fun and people notice this, especially the girls.

I go out all the time by myself and I have no problem picking up girls. Its all about confidence, which from the sound of things, you need a lot of. And if you are not confident or secure with yourself around girls, the girls will pick up on this and you will not get any kind of close.

Dress sharp, smell good, walk tall and have fun.

Best,

J-Dub

_________________
J-Dub in DC

Its better to be the predator than the prey.

You need to be a good player if your gonna be successful at the game.

I never can understand this whole 'go out on your own' thing that people have. It's rife with problems.

Firstly, you'll get beaten up if walking alone by the gangs.

Secondly, it's hard to get into clubs because you aren't bringing any women.

Thirdly, once you're in, you look like a loser because you're on your own.

Fourthly, the women can see this, they want somebody who is the centre of attention, not the loner. "who are you with?" "no-one". Loser. They don't go, "wow, that guy looks fun", they just assume you're a drunk loner loser.

Fifthly, when alone, what do you do? You don't have anyone to talk to. And no, you can't talk to random guys. Because they have friends and you don't. No-one else goes out alone.

Sixthly, and this is the massive problem for me, if you go into a club alone, and are seen to be alone by the bouncers, YOU WILL GET KICKED OUT. Bouncer training and whatnot says that a person drinking alone is more likely to be trouble (something to do with people drinking more when alone as they have no distractions, I know this as my mate is a bouncer), so they kick you out. It happens EVERY TIME I go out alone, and even when I'm standing alone whilst mates are at the bar, even if I haven't had a drink or am not drinking. They just kick you out. That right there is the reason you don't go out alone. This is why I don't go out alone any more.

Lastly, when telling people where you are going/ your night out, they'll ask "so who did you go there with?". Say "No-one" and boom, laughing stock.

So no, no matter what people say, going out alone is stupid. I've done it many times with solely very bad results, and so will not be doing it again. May be a cultural difference (I live in Australia, men must be tough and respected by peers, there's a reason they say "Mate!!" after everything!!).

Hmm...we really don't have that problem where I live...But sounds like to me you just need to find new friends to hang with.

Just my two cents.

Best,

J-Dub

_________________
J-Dub in DC

Its better to be the predator than the prey.

You need to be a good player if your gonna be successful at the game.

Sexton, I have a suggestion. Let's not concentrate on the club scene for now.. Instead let's concentrate on your social circle. Here's a link to meetup.com in the city of Perth http://www.meetup.com/cities/au/perth/

Go there and join some of the meetups in your area. But don't just join those that interest you.... make a point to join and attend at least two of the groups that you'd never think you like.

Good luck man, I've been there too.

_________________
Better to be a student of reality than a master of illusion.