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I am trying to believe in my self but it always comes to a akward point that me don't have what to talk about. \= Do you think that DHV stories will help me?
Sorry for the double post.
thank you.
dhv stories, are just sort of like time fillers, you can relate to her through story telling and if the stories are interesting and you frame your self as cool, it will dhv, but for her to relate you to being cool, it takes a bunch of cool stories in succession and she has to believe it is congruent, the idea behind this is, tell a joke, people laugh, funny joke, tell a alot of jokes, people laugh, funny guy, same shit with stories, tell a cool story, people are interested, cool story bro, tell a bunch of cool stories, people are interested, wow, cool person
don't get to caught up in what to say, this is you being nervous and becoming self concious, if you can't focus externally and just enjoy yourself, you will kill your own vibe by going into an introspecive thought pattern and you will start to react to everyone around you, what you say is of little importance, it's how you say it, not what you say, the flow of the conversation is important and how to lead, be sure of what you would like to talk about, what it is per-se is not important, if you are not good at reading body language, and you have trouble empathizing, then you will probably have problems keeping a flow going, how you feel and why you are talking and where it is going is more important then what you say, when you feel good, and you lead, she will start reacting and also feel good, when you feel neutral, she will feel neutral, as long as you are enjoying yourself while you are speaking to her, she will enjoy herself, and if you are not thinking negatively about yourself and you realize you are good enough for this and believe in your self, you will project this on to her, when she ''likes'' you in the emotional sense and assositates value with being around you and has good emotions assosiated with you, you have attraction, if you think someone has a high social status and is projecting an abundant interesting lifestyle through dhv stories, then you will be more interested in seeing the fun behind that and checking out that abundant lifestyle that is demonstrated through story telling, but if there is no fun and you realize the stories are bullshit, then the value that you precieved them to have is lose, then you will lose interest fast, dhv stories are like your way to quickly just show, blah blah blah story blah blah blah i'm this kind of guy, this is the sort of value I offer, you can tell by my story see how cool and interesting I was in my story, that's me, that can create some interest with people if the stories are interesting and you live up to them but just actually being fun to be around and being confident about what you are doing, and DEMONSTRATING the value, instead of telling stories about times when you demonstrated the value, will take you further, just actually living a dhv story through confidence and being awesome, showing them you are confident and awesome by being, rather then telling
so for example, dress up sharp, tell women your a millionaire buisnessman, wear a rolex and have an expensive suite, and roll up in a rented ferrari, they might believe that, and become attracted to your money, see that there is big time value to hanging out with you cause your lifestyle is awesome, so, get them home in the ferrari, they show up at some shithole appartment and find out you just blew the next 3 months worth of rent on getting that ferrari for the night, BAM, all value is lost, girl finds the incongruence, game over
girls want cool, confident awesome high status guys, you can tell stories about being that kind of guy to try to fool them, but if you are not that guy, they will eventually find out, just work on yourself until you know what you are doing and trust yourself, you will just become one of those guys, you don't need stories that dhv (although they might help you if you just need something to put on auto piliot for a while to get comfortable), you just need to live a life that DHV's, just be higher value for real
so if you don't get the idea, for example, last wednesday I had a conversation for at least an hour with my girlfriend, talking about how we should dress up like bears in bear suites, and go to the science center, get ice cream, and then start making bear noises, she kept calling me a fag for wanting to make bear noises, and I just held up the fact that she obviously doesn't know shit about making bear noises and she would look retarded if she wore the suit but didn't make the noises, as in, how could someone in a bear suite eating ice cream look legit, if they didn't even know how to do a bear mating call... seriously, so anyways, totally retarded subject, has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but later on that night before she hit bed, she texted me and brought up the bear thing and since then she has brought it up again, and it works simply because it is congruent with me, she knows what I am like, and what is congruent for me, and we have chemistry, if there is no chemistry between you and someone, and they don't like your style or personality then they probably don't share the same sense of humour or have the same values/ideals on what makes a good friend/relationship and it would be a mistake to hook up with them in the first place cause after sex gets boring, WAALAAA SHITTY TIME WAS HAD BY ALL, and sex does get boring with the same person over and over and over for an extended amount of time
and instead of avoiding making yourself vulnerable and hiding who you are, learn to have confidence in yourself and become comfortable expressing yourself, people just tend to gravitate towards confidence, it's nice just to sit back and let someone else do all the work while you react, harder to think for yourself then someone else around is probably more sure of themselves and can do it for you, don't fall into this trap, don't get lazy, set your own rythm and be sure of what you want
if it is just about the sex for you, then talking is not the important focus, compliance is, and a sexual frame, you want her alone, you just want to get horny yourself and put her in a horny mood, put your hands on her and makeout, progress to sex, talking has very little to do with the actual action of you getting laid, unless the discussion is making her wet, talking is your tool to open her up to the idea of meeting you and getting comfortable enough with you so you can pull off the escalation, once she sees that you are an interesting person and wants to know you, that is it, you just get to know her so she is comfortable enough with you to be alone, and the escalation gets you laid, it is very rare for you to talk your way into a girls pants, so just drop the idea that it is so important, it is only important so that she sees you again, and sees value in the idea of being around you so that the comfort and attraction are there to set up the logistics, and if you hit a point where you have nothing to say, you can listen to her and be fine with just being, no one needs to talk at any point, it isn't awkward, it just is, the only time this will be awkward, is if you are self concious, because you are looking for some way to show her you are good enough, but the thing is, you are already good enough, you should be leading and seeing if you like her, instead of buying into her shit and trying to get her to like you, if she doesn't already like you, then the whole approach is a waste of time, it should just be assumed she likes you, you're just getting her comfortable with you so you can escalate and build up that tension
and that comfort and connection, as well as your ability to escalate, are probably the two most important factors, think of it like you are making a best friend, and really trying to know them, and at the same time, your going to make out with this best friend, and put your hands on them, and treat them like they have vaginas and are sexually desired as a result, there is no shame in that, you wouldn't be worried about what to say to a guy who was going to end up being your best friend would you?, it is what it is, you're a guy, shes a girl, P goes in V, that is how life is, it's no big deal, if she has hangups about that, she probably has some sort of weird issues or something around sex, so it's just you and your possible new best friend who you are interested in making out with
TL;DR if you are stuck with not knowing what to say, clear your mind by speaking it, if you can't there is probably something in your head you are afraid to say, just face the fear and say it anyways, they are just words, a girl can hate you today and love your tommorow, or love you today and hate you in an hour, they are just words
CHAT
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