You have to discover your true desires in life. Then, adjust and calibrate your attitude to align with the belief that you can attain the particular goals you've set. Once you know what you want and have your attitude in check, you can develop a strategy of how you'll exercise the ability to get the best possible outcome of your efforts. This is where your inner game foundation will be built.
Your integrity is compromised if you don't do everything in your power to create the future of your dreams, causing you to feel- "rock bottom." So stick with the outgoing/pickup/communication exercises you're trying to build. Pay attention to your results, keep a journal of methods you've experimented with, as well as, a personal mission statement and a list of affirmations. If methods prove ineffective, calibrate them until they work for you. There is a vast amount of information on this site and 75,000 people in your support group, take advantage. Your style of game will always be unique to your character, beliefs, and how you so choose to decorate them with your personality.
Keep in mind this is a personal mission, nobody will do it for you. You have to be the source which radiates confidence to yourself. It has to come from an inner level of understanding that nobody else can claim except you. It's easy to pretend to be something you're not, but "the game," is realizing everything you are. We're all here for the same reasons, and all know about having our nose in the dirt. Keep on course my friend, computers are much more elaborate than letting go of what's halting your success.

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"The acquiring of culture is the development of an avid hunger for knowledge and beauty."

As odd as this may sound... I think you should go to Borders, and ask out a "below average" girl. There are a lot of them out there, we have just been ignoring them. Especially on these PUA forums. But really, if you want to start somewhere, I would start with a girl who is in a similar situation. She'll probably accept if youre just nice. Just nice, thats it. U dont have to marry her, or even be attracted to her, you just need to start some actual momentum, with a real person. Take her out, and just keep her as a friend if u dont want to further it. All this jazz on these forums is just hyping dating up. Its actually not that exciting when u get used to it. Trust me.

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SoCo

ps. man. Congrats on the degree! Thats not "Rock Bottom" at all. Good going.

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SoCo

Go to Borders? Is that like a website or whatever? Never heard of it...

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Hi, I need your female opinion on this...

Borders is a bookshop..


The one in my city always had a lot of girls in there..

Alas, now I find myself finally comtemplating getting over the AA and making my first ever apprach, the store has closed down!

You need to learn how to "game" people in general. read these books:

*Leil lowndes -People Magnet
*Dale Carnegie -Make Friends & influence
*Dr. Georges Sabongui - The Art Of Social Networking
*Terry Clerry -Social cicle from scratch
*Daniel Goleman -Social inteligence
*Never eat alone
*the tipping point
*The Popular Life - Make people like, respect and befriend you
*Bobby Rio -Social superstar
*Nick Casanova –Machiavellians guide to charm
*Williard and beecher –beyond success and failure
*Joseph Matthews - Renegade Rapport

You want to build an attractive lifestyle, then go out there and get one. You can find every excuse in the book not to do it because its easier to do nothing then get something done. Go on craigslist, in the activities sections, if you live in a big city there listings for all kinds of sports and recreation for beginner to experienced. Join a gym that offers classes, the one I used to go to had tons of options and for most you needed a partner. Not everyone had one so you are forced to meet someone on the spot.

You say you are afraid of going out to bars or clubs or w/e. What are you afraid of? Have you been to them? So what if you are going alone, go in, go to the bar, grab a drink, if you dont drink just ask for a soda or something and just check it out. If you see a girl you like, dont make shit complicated, just go up and say "hi, whats your name". No need to these canned openers to fuck with your head. If she blows you off then thats her problem because you know you are a great guy and if she doesnt want to take the time to see that then fuck her move on with your life. You dont have to stay in bars forever. If things arent going your way, just leave and go to another and do the same thing. You arent going to get over that anxiety unless you throw yourself in the situation and just man up. Swallow your pride and take the plunge. Whats the worst thats going to happen? Go home by yourself? You are doing that anyway, but at least if you take some shots, you will gain some experience, come back on the site, tells us what went wrong, and we will see if we can help.

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I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

your focusing too much on your problems and not enough on the solution. Think of fight club, when tyler durdan puts a gun to the clerks head and says "what did you wanna be?"......if someone put a gun to your head an got your ass in gear youd sure as hell change.

We live in a fantastic age- look at these forums with advice and tips. Its shows your not the only one, but that you seek advice and understanding. That alone should tell yourself that you have tremendous potential. Theres alot of cool programs out there like david deangelos man transformation. Or the game or man the list goes on.

Theres soo much ammunition out there- stop with the excuses. Theres always someone who has it worse.

my 20 year old brother had a saying (hes now dead) "life is for the living"


Your still alive- go live it for those who no longer can

I also recommend reading the "power of now"

First things first: Get your career in order. If it is already in order you can start to make changes to your life. A career is the foundation to survival with a good financial backing.


Most importantly, you NEED to join a social group. I totally understand where you are coming from with this man. I've hit rock bottom in my life and I'm telling you how I helped myself. There are thousands and thousands of clubs of people who share similar interests. Search some online. You can join dance clubs, music clubs, sport clubs, you name it!

By joining a club or group you will naturally be around more people and make friends!


Also, stop with the therapist. If the therapist is not helping, you may need a psychiatrist, who can actually diagnose a problem and prescribe medication, if needed.

At the age of 18 my life was rock bottom for about 3 years. I was a total loser, with no friends and no idea about the pickup community. I got addicted to prescription drugs and that just made my life even worse. I spent all my money and started so many problems for myself. The only way YOU can stop your problems if you figure out a solution.

The solution can only be forcing yourself to join a social group where you can get over your social anxiety and actually make some friends to go out with.

Hope this helped. Good luck man.

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

Exactly man. There are almost 7 BILLION people in the world.

You can walk into a club naked and maybe 10 people who are probably drunk will see you and forget you even did that in the morning! Maybe one girl will even get drunk and fuck you.

I'm not saying to walk into a club naked, but nobody is watching you behind all the flashing lights, music and people. If you fuck up on one person, who cares? That person will probably forget it and if they don't there are 6,999,999,999 more people to go!

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

Hey man where theres a will theres a way. There is nothing in this world that a young man cant do especially in your case an avergage looking young man. Your mind is your enemy im in a very similar situation im 16 but age doesnt matter. Battle your negative side only think positive and you will see opportunities to do anything will come to you. Also look into something called the handsome factor i got it its useful cost you about 50 $ looking good always makes you feel confident and will give you extra edge.

Ok, I'll suggest a few things to read and do:

Read:

The Game by Neil Struass
Mystery Method: how to get Beautiful women into bed by Mystery
The pick up artist by Mystery
Rules of the Game/ the Stylelife Diaries by Neil Struass

Read in that order

When you're not reading them watch these instead:

The Pick Up Artist series 1 & 2
Mystery Method 1-5
Transformations by Real Social Dynamics

Now when you've watched and read them, look into more if RSD's stuff aswell, all confidence boosting, especially The Game, I still try to read bits of it when things ain't going right.

Then go and do the Stylelife Challenge from Neil Strauss' "Rules of the Game" it's designed for everyone, no matter if you have friends or not, to do.

Remember, we can only guide and assist you, it's you yourself that has to go out and do it.

Good luck and remember this "To succeed you have to stop being Ordinary and Start being Legendary"

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To Succeed You Have to Stop being Ordinary and Start being Legend...Wait For It....Dary!!!

If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.

Live for the Moment, Never see a Chance you didn't take!

Get a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist to work on self acceptance, social anxiety, depression, etc.

Get into Group Psychotherapy to work on social anxiety.

Follow instructions in Intimate Connections by Dr. Burns (free pdf copy available somewhere online)

Put effort into changing the way you think. Read and do the ABCDE exercises on page 211? in Learned Optimism by Dr. Saligman.

Do the Pleasure Predicting Scale, the Thing's I have done today log, and the Triple Column Technique from Feeling Good by Dr. Burns.

Read my thread in the Field Report section. I cover a lot of psych issues. #1 is to learn to enjoy being a lone, develop a good relaitonship with yourself. Then, after a year or so you can start creating relationships with other people, but when you do, don't be focused on yourself, or try to get people to like you, but just look at it as taking an interest in people and being optimistic and positive to them. Don't avoid pleasurable experiences, go out and watch movies on your own, go to the gym, coffee shop, bars, night clubs, go alone. It will give you ego strength and you will see that you don't need others to enjoy going out. Negative self deprecating thoughts will run through your head, that is why you need Dr. Burns to help you fight these thoughts.

Awesome advice man!

I read your post and dude your problem is so simple you think way to much. You got to realize what you want and do it. Not think about doing it, not make a plan just do it. Alot of these guys said some good things, go to a gym and just talk to a girl next to you, go to the store just talk to a girl, just talk to someone. Do you have any hobbies get some and go out do some. I do disagree with one thing you shouldn't go somewhere do something your uncomfortable with to meet someone, find something you want to do and make some mutual friends first.

Example I like mountain biking, now I might meet some guys riding talk to them and ask them to hang out. Then we can go to a bar (which is out of the comfort zone) but now I got friends that I can talk to about something else besides a bar. Now when you meet a chick at the bar you find out what her hobbies are and talk about that. A club wont feel like one if your talking to a girl there about going hiking or something.


You can tell when a fish is out of water, a girl can tell when you are out of place to. You need to turn the places you don't belong into your place(you need to own the bar) best way to do this is talk to people there about what you are comfortable with, then magically its yours. Now i no means am I saying go up to a girl and start with my cats name is fluffy.