Please describe your thoughts on what it means to be unavailable--the mindset behind it, not "wait 3 days" and shit like that.

Any opinions welcome

Having the mindset that you are the prize. That you don't care what the girl thinks or wants. That you are completely unattached to outcome. That you are a busy person in the successes of your own life, and you have little time or priority for anything that doesn't contribute directly to your success.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

But the girl does directly contribute to the success of getting laid.

Well said man, well said.

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Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

I didn't ask for a bunch of regurgitated big ideas, I wanted to know what beliefs someone holds when they are very unavailable.

I could do all of the above that you described and still be very available to women.

It's not what beliefs you hold that matters, it's how you express those beliefs to women. You need to realize that the woman is secretly trying to control and manipulate you with shit tests and hoops and bullshit drama. So your mindset needs to be such that you don't let her gain control of you or weaken your frame.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

The biggest thing that you need to understand about PUA is that it's counter-intuitive to your natural inclinations (unless of course you're a natural). Many of the techniques/mindsets that work the best are the ones that you would think are the worst. Release your inhibitions and fall into the lifestyle

"Being unavailable" isn't a mindset in my eyes.

A mindset is something that boosts your mental state. As a result of boosting your mental state, you become more outwardly successful or confident. In pick up terms, a mindset would be something that boosted your 'inner game'. So a mindset could be "not giving a fuck", or "thinking you're the prize". If you put these into your mind and start to invest in them - in other words if you start to believe them and eventually do believe them - then you will improve your confidence and self belief and will ultimately improve your game from the inside, hence the term "inner game". A mindset is something that gets you into a good frame of mind, improves your confidence and helps you from the inside to improve your game.

"Being unavailable" isn't for that purpose. It's not to make you feel better on the inside. It's an outward thing. It's a show. It's about making a girl think that you're busy. Girls don't want guys who are free and available and have got no life. They want cool guys who are doing cool things in their life. They want to eventually be invited along to your cool parties and your cool activities and they want to live that exhilirating lifestyle. They want to be a part of your interesting, cool world.

So how can you show to a girl that you've got a great lifestyle that she should be a part of? The first option is to drone on boringly about your life. She'll think you're boasting or just be bored. The second option is to "be unavailable." It's to have things going on in your life. So she asks you to go out somewhere, and you're too busy because you've got something real interesting going on already, so you have to check your diary and fit her in some other time. That's what "being unavailable" is about - showing her that you have got a busy, interesting lifestyle that she should be a part of.

It also allows her to see that you're an independent man who doesn't need to rely on a girl or anyone else to have a good time. You're going to be having fun; she can either join in or go and find someone more boring instead! You're not going to pander to her needs just because she wants you too. You're showing her that you want to enjoy yourself and you're not going to let a female stop you from doing that. If she wants to be a part of your enjoyment then great, if not you really couldn't care less.

Can you see the difference; with "I don't give a fuck" you are pushing what is essentially a belief into your own head. This belief then starts to become 'your reality' and you gain confidence and improve your inner game. "Being unavailable" is purely for show; it shows the girl you've got a great lifestyle, it shows the girl you're independent, it shows the girl you're going to have fun, it shows her that you are someone she will have fun with. You're not trying to convince yourself that you are unavailable, you're not starting to believe you're unavailable. You're just showing her that you are unavailable for the reasons above.



NB: Whilst "being unavailable" is for the purposes I've mentioned above, generally "having a life" is good for inner game. If you're sat at home on internet forums you're probably not feeling as great about yourself as if you were out partying hard with your friends, or doing something that would give you a buzz.

They are arguably closely linked (although you can fake "being unavailable" even when you've not "got a life"), but there is a difference. You can "have a life" but if you drop everything to come running to a girl all the time, then you're not "unavailable"; she doesn't necessarily know you've got a great fun life, and she certainly doesn't think you're an independent person who can have fun on his own - otherwise why are you canceling your plans and running to her every time she needs some shopping picked up or whatever? You come across as a bit of a push over. And you certainly don't come across as the sort of person who has got an exciting lifestyle that she should fit into.