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Why did you tell him you are fine with it, if you know you're not?
Don't open doors for your friend just because you want to feel like a good pal. Let him be the good pal and pass on this girl, there's plenty of girls to go around.
I told MY friend I would be VERY uncomfortable and feel betrayed if he fucked my ex. This was because I still had feelings for her.
When my feelings for her faded away I told my friend BY ALL MEANS he can fuck her - to practice his sex-skills. Just use her for it. Because I know that she WILL fuck him to get back at me (same reason YOUR ex banged your friend, most probably). So they banged. I didn't mind. He didn't mind. She didn't mind.
The difference between our situations is that you DID mind, but you still told him it would be OK if he banged your ex.
You made the mistake here. You got nobody else to blame my man.
Only thing you can do now is let your friend know the truth. Tell him how you feel about what they did and tell him how you feel about any future interactions he may have with the girl.
Just be honest, he's your friend.
Prefectly written.
It's all about being honest with yourself and not hiding how you feel about something when it is going to bother you.