Do you sometimes feel like you're a complete loser and that whatever material you're made of is low grade? Then under different circumstances, you'd might feel like you're the king of the world?

I could swear that sometimes, when I do feel great and confident, I look at myself in the mirror and think "I'm the hottest guy in the world - no wonder girls should be attracted to me". And at other times, I can think like I am the ugliest human ever born. I don't know why this happens.

I know for certain that without addressing this issue, I would have very little success with women and pretty much anything else in life. I am well aware of "inner game", social dynamics, pick-up routines, being alpha, etc etc... But it all comes down truly to what you FEEL about yourself. It just seems impossible to feel good and confident about yourself sometimes.

Do you have any experience with that? Any knowledge on how this particular issue can be addressed? I cannot lie to myself twenty-four seven. There simply has to be something that can be done that makes one have a real stable self-esteem.

I can relate to you to an extent. I realized when my self-esteem is highest is when I am staying productive and doing something I love at the same time and only then is when I do not even care to look in the mirror, I just feel good all the way throughout my body. I need to stay busy so I do not dwell on how others perceive me.

However, you are not alone when it comes to self-esteem swings. Call it cliche but everything you have said, is what every single human has happen to them sometimes it is just that yo have the balls to post it online. Props to you in the regard. Also, this thread should be moved.?.?

idk i feel the confidence swings sometimes especially when i dont sociallize but i never lie to myself or fake anything i usually try to own and accept every emotion i have were only human afterall and we all have our off days

I also get this to an extent, but it only happens to me with respect to women. What I mean by that is if I go on a night out and don't get a k-close, my confidence drops. If I k-close 2,3 or 4 girls, I feel great! Not a good thing, I know. I guess I need validation from the opposite sex, which is something I need to get rid of.

When you feel good about yourself what are you doing? Hanging out with girls? hitting the gym alot? Whatever it is you need to find that and work on it. I like to -play basketball when my self-esteem goes down because its something im good at. Find something your good at or a few of those things and focus on them. If your self-esteem is low because of girls go out a few times a week and just number close get that feeling of being great back in you and go from there.

It sounds like you are having deep inner beliefs that are conflicting with each other. It doesn't have to make sense intellectually. We can do things to work on our confidence all day, but if we don't deal with actually ridding ourselves of the old stuff it will go deep and hang out in there and keep popping up time to time (everytime a particular set of stimuli triggers it). I'd say hit some Anthony Robbins, or some NLP stuff, which have a lot of effective tools for working through this. And it's not a one-shot deal, it's a conditioning process and it may take a long time.
You govern your own thought process and you can either be in a state of reaction, or a state of control. If you are allowing factors of the environment to push your buttons, then we know which it is. Stay out of the trap. Learn to be attentive to when your mind starts going down that path and nip that shit in the bud. If you stop and think about it you realize that your only lying to yourself and making a conscious choice to NOT lie to yourself anymore (control).
Also, make sure your're hitting the gym and getting the cardio in. Make sure that you're eating right. Don't put unleaded in your race-car and then wonder why it runs like shit. Physiology has a direct correlation to mental/emotional states so these steps alone will have a profound impact.
Also be mindful of the company that you keep. If you want to be rich, don't hang out and take advice from poor people. The same is true of states. Don't hang around people that drag you down with them. Surround yourself with positive and motivated people, even if that means spending less time with family.

you probably are code dependent .. seeking approval unconciously.....
if external factors are determing your confidence you are probably attaching too much value on opinions or actions of other people.

if a girl rejects you and you feel bad + if another woman accepts you and you feel good you are probably a approval seeker.

the title of this thread is actually evidence ... you ask us if it's normal ... seeking approval of other '' is it normal to have swings ? ''

i think you have some inner issue .. psychological issue ... did something happened to you? - did other people made you feel bad ?

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I think there's a point to what you say. Although I just wanted honest opinion from people who have experienced the same thing and got through it. I don't think it is by any means "normal" to have those swings and would be more than glad to get rid off them.

Loads of people made me feel bad my entire life. I don't see it as something abnormal. Society and life are tough and when you expose your neck you get bruised. But it's not the same as it used to, and not because society changed, rather I have changed.

All I care about or need is that what I know (that is, logic, etc...) aligns with what I feel (emotions, etc...). And I want to feel confident and self-aware without having to flood myself with lies. Actually thinking about this in itself makes me feel more confident - so maybe I'm just venting, and that helps.

Either way, thanks.

I can relate to you too. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, no joke, I believe I should be a model. Other times though I look in the mirror and realize some small thing that looks a little bit off and then obsess over it and think i am the ugliest guy in the world. I also sort of have confidence/oneitis swings, so for a week I will feel like girls in general are easy and that I want a different one every day of the week , then the next week I have this sudden urge to find a true love and get all emotionally attached and shit.

Everyone feels the way you do man, evidenced by the replies. When you realize that, there's less reason to feel down :)

"We're all self-conscious I'm just the first to admit it" - Kanye

Everyone feels the way you do man, evidenced by the replies. When you realize that, there's less reason to feel down :)

"We're all self-conscious I'm just the first to admit it" - Kanye

Totally relate to looking like a model one week and finding myself average at best some days. Sometimes I feel like I have strong connections with girls and sometimes I feel like I'm going to die alone only to be missed by booty calls. When re-reading parts of 60 years of challenge or even laughing at parts of the mystery method hype, I am always filled with fresh over the top confidence, I often read a little before I head out and it has improved my results and game exponentially.

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Every girl is different. But not TOO different.

In the end, It's not about girls.

I feel like the way you described thats just how it is...

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I signed up today since im getting serious about pickup and thought it would be fun to talk to other people in the game and even find a wingman in my area to mmet up once a week who knows....

Hey man,

I hear where you are coming from. It defiantly comes from having inner belief problems. I too had moments when I though I was king of the world only to find moments later I felt as if I was nothing. In these moments I even contemplated suicide. I thought what is even the point of living. But I set out too fix this problem.

There is no quick fix or magic pill. The only to solve this issue is to deal with it head on with strict discipline. Working on my inner game every day for about a half an hour was the way I solved this problem while even boosting my skills with women.

Every day I would wake up, pump myself up an do affirmations. I would write about how great I am. Visualize where I want to be and how I ant to live my life. Slowly but surely I started to see difference. It hasn't been easy but using positive thinking while going out and just having fun has really helped. The most important affirmation I did was "I love myself unconditionally". Can everyone here say that?
If not I would strongly recommend getting into affirmations.

Let me ask you this, do you have strong inner belief that you are truly great?

-Dave

I get confidence swings.

Some days I'll feel like I have angel wings and other days I'll feel like river scum.