Soo I was wondering why I seemed to fear success with women when I had it. I would be genuinely interested in a girl then when I do enough game to get mutual interest I get a sudden rush of anxiety and I feel like bailing out and running. Why is it like this? I feel like this is probably the biggest problem I have in regards to game.

I thought maybe being a virgin makes me fear success, but if that is the case, what can I do to become more experienced with success? This has seemed to be a real sticky point for me for a long time.. any help would be appreciated.

Just act like you done it before. Im sure you've seen how a man seduces a woman, Im sure you've seen a porno a couple times in your life so therefore you know whats supposed to happen. You have to somehow trick yourself into thinking you've done this before. I was a virgin until my early 20's and when I finally had the opportunity I just acted like I've done it before. It was so believable that when I spoke to the girl the next week she asked me "So how old were you when you lost your virginity? and don't say it was that night"

I was also an old virgin and let me tell you something - if you let fear control you then you are going to be a virgin forever, the older you get the harder it is...PUSH THROUGH YOUR FEAR or face the fact that you will be a virgin forever.

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some more input on this one please.

exactly the stuff i'm facing.. the fear of doing it ..

We all start out virgins!

I've had sex with 3 women at the age of 21 so I am limited with my experience as well. As long as youre confident it shouldn't matter. Once you have sex with her you've accomplished your task!

I lost my virginity last year, when I was 18.

I don't know why people gain this new confidence after doing it. I know I haven't.

After that night, I walked out of her house all happy, skipping around like I was the shit. But after that, college hit me like a ton of bricks, and I haven't gotten with anybody since.

Any reason why? I guess losing the virginity and gaining confidence from it only applies to certain guys.

LenLen10,

You know why a women likes you as a man? Along with all the other personality and apperance reasons, one of the reason is you have a penis and balls. Doesn't sound like you are overally confident with yourself and you realize women like men because well they are men! I don't get the whole mutual interest part of your post. You get anxious because she likes you?

Secondly, I'm confused by your first sentence. Are you still a virgin? If so, you don't have success until the P is in the V. This is so crucial.

Otherwise you are thinking the point of pickup is conversation? The point of me being in the pickup community is to FUCK WOMEN.... LOTS OF WOMEN (and eventually have relationships with some of them). Most guys would agree. I would be absolutely amazed if you think you have success by simply talking to women!

I don't mean to attack you, I'm trying to help.

If you search on the net, theres a book by Frank B. Kermit called I'm a man, thats my job. This book I attribute to my 30 or so lays in the last few years. He has an adult male virgin CD that I don't own that you may want to look at as well. The book is like $25 or $30 USD and is an inner game workbook. You will be doing lots (and LOTS) of writing.

So, what are you anxious about?

Here is a great scenario question for you. Sit back, close your eyes and imagine the most beautiful girl you've ever met. Shes standing in your bedroom completely naked and all you have todo is grab her hand and fuck her brains out.

... are you feeling anxious yet?

For me, I was anxious about the sex. I though (like most guys) my penis was too small, I smelled or because I'm too tall for her body parts to align! My first time was pretty bad. I accidently snapped her bra (big no no), couldn't get her panties off and eventually she just stripped for me. The second time around I was too embarrassed of doing it again badly (with a new girl) that I told her "I'm gonna fuck your brains out, strip!" that she complied. My experience is that sex sucks the first few or so times. Eventually you realize that its really not all that big of a deal, women want to have sex and that you have been misled by porn, movies, music, hollywood, religion, whatever.... The hard part comes after the relationship starts.... The relationship starts when you've had sex (not before).

So, what are you anxious about? If you don't know, that workbook may help find out.

****Other Tips.... Bend your knees slightly when you feel anxious & nervous, it helps distract your brain (very slightly) and amazingly worked. If your anxiety gets really bad, I highly suggest Shinzen Young's tapes for meditation. My anxiety was so bad early on that I would literally run out of a club, heart racing and once I collapsed. The brain is a very powerful thing and is able to cause all sorts of havoc if you are not doing what it wants. The secret is realizing that you are the one programming it what it wants. Doesn't sound like you've programmed it yet.

My 2 cents and I truly hope it helps you in some way.

^ Awesome post, Basherdurch.

I have a good female friend (who I call 'bro' all the time) who told me something that most guys probably are not aware of:

Women want/like sex as much as guys do.

I joked around with her, and asked if she was serious. She said yeah, but that women generally attach emotions to it.

Yes, you just need some experience to thicken your skin, you know, find that smooth player under the soft layer

you got this

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