Stop trying to decipher, finding my way back to the cypher

Its a balancing act every day, as people get older and wiser –or none the wiser- these acts should be less tiresome. Sometimes being to self critical can make the most routine of tasks difficult- its an overload of thought process and ideas. Sometimes the air waves need to be cleared everyone has an individual way of escapism- some prefer the company of friends( extroversion) while others like to indulge in self flagellation- exercising at the gym ( introversion).

Does the mind have to be clear or worked up to get itself started? The latter seems more logical, everything sort of starts with a warm up and gradually increases, It makes me wonder like a rapper about to enter the cipher and bust some freestyle, would a Politician have a little battle of monetary and fiscal policy reforms with one of their advisors before facing the media or the opposition?

I was once in the hip hop scene ( still live and breathe hip hop- but it’s not my life support any more) and I remember when I used to write rhymes and freestyle with and against people in the scene. Sometimes I would have something ready for the typical wannabe freestyler. I knew they were going to rap about their rap style, gangsta lifestyle, or jumble a whole lot of nonsensical bullshit and try to make fun of me. It was always the same generic stuff; I would always practice and had my comebacks at the ready- like Taiwan’s army always geared up for an invasion from the mainland.

I stared to become too reliant on my art, it wasn’t fulfilling when I wasn’t performing. Sometimes I would not say anything to anyone in a social situation for like an hour –its like I wasn’t speaking their language and was unable to express my ideas and contribute to the conversation or brain storming- brain storiming is probably a euphemism for an argument.

Out of nowhere, if I heard a cue that related to my lyrics like a topic, a belief or a song I would just bust out and be pumped from that moment onwards- no warming up or anything . Maybe it was the element of suprise or the unsuspecting cue, whatever it was, it would elevate everything in the room especially if I was feeling passionate about what I was rapping. I liked it when friends would introduce me with my art, because I knew I will get my time to shine, but there were times when my friends prompts would kill the moment and anything said after that would just sound week and forced.

The best experience is the freestyle, I think the elements that make this display of emotions and ideas is the freshness and the connection to the crowd feels real. While the written raps sometimes fell on death ears. People that are involved in this scene know the difference between a written rap and a real freestyle- they can feel the difference in the connection too. If I was rapping to someone who was like a virgin to the performing arts- the analogy to sex is very fitting- it just wasn't the same if you’re faking it. I’m still writing and want to perfect this art form, lyrics have changed and I’m developing a new method in rhythm and originality- this time it’s not about me or my life it’s about them- it’s about you.

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you can fake it till you make it, but if it feels REAL go with the flow!