I usually game with a wingman, but there have been a few nights in the past few weeks when all of the guys are busy with work/ dates etc., and I have to either go out alone or stay home. I almost always make the choice to go out, but I've run into some issues. First, my AA is much worse when I don't have a wing. With the wing, I can consistently brush off bad sets and move on to the next. Without a wing, I stay in my own head and over analyze the conversation. This leads to apprehension prior to the next set, and the apprehension causes me to project less of a fun vibe when I approach.

Second, I have consistently been getting the "where are your friends?/ are you here alone?" question, and I haven't come up with an answer to that one which avoids loss of social proof. My results are consistently much worse when I don't have a wing, and I know I need to get past this to reach the next level.

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My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.

Wouldn't daygame be the obvious answer?

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im a friend of the bartender, wave towards bartender

I've gone out on my own, A LOT. It pretty much started out when I was (platonic) friends with a girl. I lived literally two blocks away from the biggest club in town, while she lived much further away. She was a bit of a spaz, so she'd tell me to meet her at the club and SOMETIMES wouldn't show up. I'd always get there early anyway to escape the cover charge. Here's what I would say:


1. "My friend was supposed to meet me here but he changed his mind/got a call to work/otherwise engaged"
It's not that you don't have friends - but your friend changed his plans AT THE LAST MINUTE. You were already dressed/on your way to the club, so you decided just to chill out here for a bit anyway. This disarms the "creepy guy" vibe single guys may be giving off.

2. Go to CROWDED clubs - It's a lot easier for me to operate alone in crowded clubs. That way, even if your set fails, there's lots of other options to fall back on IMMEDIATELY instead of sulking off to a corner, on your own. Also less social pressure of people watching you being alone, because the club is crowded so you blend in easier!

3. Make friends with groups/single guys- If you see a crowd of guys standing off to the side, GO TALK TO THEM. Ask them about the girls - make jokes, point out the hottest looking girls and tell them to approach her. 99% of the time the guys will be cool with you entering their social circle. You're out chasing tail - EVERY guy can identify with that. You're not a weirdo, but a guy with the same basic motivation as them.

I love this line. It's fantastic.

I find that people rarely ask you if you are out alone, when you are out alone. If you are happy to leave the set and go talk to another one, it *looks* as though you are out with friends. No one will find out unless they ask the others "do you know this guy?" and that won't happen if you are being the fun-maker and allowing people a good time when they come into your circle/frame/world.

On the odd occasion someone does try to make me look weird, by highlighting the fact I'm out alone. I say:
"Would you rather stay at home just because your mates are busy?" With a pause. When they hesitate, I know I've won the set over and I can keep the conversation going forward.

As with the AA of being alone, just keep working on it.

C. Tingham

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View my blog at— Calum Tingham

View my YouTube channel at— Mindset Music