First of all, hi everyone. My name is Ilya. I'm from sunny Siberia. Which obviously mean that I'm Russian, so try to keep patience while reading my English. Actually i dunno how bad or good it is, so you tell me )

I love women and i love science and philosophy. And pickup. I studied the connection between pickup and many scientific fields, like psychology, ethology, neuro-science etc. I've read tons of articles, printed in scientific journals. Also i studied many personal theories of relationships, human hierarchy and seduction which has no any scientific research and confirmation. But they also useful, they gave new ideas, different points of view.
At the same time i just live my life: dating women, meeting with my friends, my family, collegues... and reflecting on it when i'm alone. I'm natural-born researcher, i love it.
Finally i produced (producING actually, its constantly changing little by little) my own point of view, my own theory (or theories) of human relations. It is largely unconscious, intuitive, but i'm trying to verbalize it. And now you judge how useful it is.
Yes, I insist that every scientific theory (of human relations) must be useful. It must be reducible to specific actions (of yours), that lead to specific consequences so you could see does it work as you want it to or it doesn't.

While I studied thoughts of other researchers of seduction and human hierarchy and relations I started to notice that I have much different point of view of the same things, including the Alpha-male phenomenon.
I'm sure as hell that all those Alpha-wannabe's (look who's talking ) miss one main trait that real human alpha-male must have.

This trait is Altruism. A true leader, a king, an alpha-male is concerned of well-being of people, connected to him, of his wolf-pack as of his own well-being. Equality is the main principle of being true leader. Your people will not realy follow you if you dont see them like equals. But if you can give your life, or, at least risk it to save life of your people, they will follow you anywhere at any time.

So, if you want to be Real Alpha-Male, you must think of others as of yourself. The golden rule of morality must become the main principle of your social behaviour and of your whole life. If you'll learn to think of any people that surround you like of your friends, your family, you'll gain power to affect their will. Acutally you will share your will with others. And they'll like it. They'll love it!

What about success with women... It is side effect of being real alpha

Beautiful post, and you asked about your English, it is excellent.

The golden rule is where it's at my dude.

Would love to hear what else you have to say on these topics.

It is a little torture for me to formulate thoughts in English ) But of course i'll continue this post a little bit later.

I think the whole idea of the Alpha Male is taken a bit too far and people become far too concerned with that aspect. No doubt that the Alpha is an attractive quality, but to me seduction has more to do with having an unshakable core of beliefs than having to do with being an Alpha. It's the person that passes all shit tests, can't be forced to do the things he does not want to do, and when he expresses himself it's going to be genuine. Someone who is an Alpha usually displays these qualities, but to have these qualities you do not need to be an Alpha. You definitely don't have to be altruistic in order to have these qualities.

In my opinion, having an Alpha status is something that you have to work to get and work to keep. Even in the animal kingdom, the alpha is eventually replaced because some other animal wants that role. But no one can take away your integrity unless you have a weak will.

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Agreed. I believe each guy needs to be his "alpha" self, whatever that means to him, regardless of what the dictionary says an alpha male may or may not be.

I believe that without the active implementation of the golden rule, the mantra "leave the girl better than you found her" is nothing but empty words.

In my opinion, having an Alpha status is something that you have to work to get and work to keep. Even in the animal kingdom, the alpha is eventually replaced because some other animal wants that role. But no one can take away your integrity unless you have a weak will.

Try to think of alpha as not a status, official or unofficial. Think of it like state of mind, state of inner energy. As you said "unshakable core of beliefs" that is what makes you alpha more than anything else, imho. But only if "unshakable" means that you can give your life, protecting your ideals.


Getting back to topic...
I've read some articles establishing connection between attractiveness, leadership and levels of such hormones as testosterone and cortisol. To be attractive to women you must not only have higher levels of testosterone but also lower levels of cortisol. Everyone knows what is testosterone. Cortisol is hormone of stress. It's level higher in those individuals who are under pressure of environment or society or their own thoughts. Competing is a VERY stressful situation. Especially if you're not used to compete and to WIN, which means that you have not enough self confidence. But even if you are... Even if your basic level of T is naturally very high, permanent stress of competition will lower it and will rise your basic cortisol.
The best way to win is not to compete. If you think of other guys at the party (or anywhere else) like of your old good friends, like of people who as worthy as you are - not more, not less - then you don't get into stressful state of mind. And what's also important - they gonna feel the same way about you. That you are worthy.
Imagine an ordinary pickup guy seeking for girl attention at the party. Everybody around him are his opponents. Or even enemies. That is sucks! The pressure of stress is so high that he can't think of anything but "i'm gonna fail, i'm gonna fail..." And those guys around him think the same way! Well, not all of them, but many.
You must learn to NOT AFRAID OF OTHERS. They are people just like you. They are feeling the same way, thinking the same way, they have the same doubts and fears. And girls too! They are you with tits )

I agree 99.9% of what you say here(I couldn't flirt with a girl if she were me with tits). I guess I just misunderstood because in the OP you were speaking of what it takes to be a true leader and that specific trait that you needed to be an Alpha.

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And I misunderstood what you misunderstood could you explain?

It seems that in the OP, you were describing what is needed to be an Alpha.This type of behavior can have the side effect of more women, but it is more because of standing for something. I've seen both ends of the spectrum and there are guys that are pure assholes, but they are true to themselves and they get a lot of women.

But in your "Back to the topic" post, you seem to move away from being an Alpha or "Core of Alpha" and more to not competing with others. I agree with this concept as long as you are still presenting yourself as a sexual being to women.

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I see now.

It is a question of inner state again. You don't see others as competitors or enemies. You protect not your uniqueness, not your ego. But some high principles of being, some ideals. It's kind of religious thing ) To be fanatic not of yourself but fanatic of some abstract idea, of how it should be. You protect equality, act according to your view, and require the same behavior from others. But don't be a maniac, it is necessary only in extraordinary situation, when there is some threat to you or to someone else. In other time it is just a game around you and you can be part of it, can play role.
It is your connection to other people that give you energy. You know it, you feel it, you live that way and it goes outside in form of nonverbal behavior, looks, etc. And that's what attracts.

But yes. Women are attracted not only to one type of behavior. In fact it is maybe power that women attracted to. Power can be white and it can be black. You've maybe heard of such thing like "dark triad". I Just remembered it and now i want to write about it. I think i know how to connect it with other things to create holistic model. And maybe to create some concept like "light triad" I'll do it later, it's time to feed my bear.

Couldn't agree more! true leaders see others for what they are, people. People who have hopes, dreams, talents, weaknesses, and a past.

Considering the experiences I've had in my life, I couldn't imagine being any other way. Seeing that other people are the same (an product of the experiences they've had) it's easier to approach others with empathy and compassion. Setting them up for chances to utilize their strengths and grow, instead of pushing others to the side so you can have your spotlight.

That's not alpha.

Like you said, an alpha is a leader. Helping others to realize their potential is what leading is all about.

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Hi there, and by the way: hello all (as this is my first post)

I think you're right and not right at the same time; let me explain:
I like your philosofical aspect and I agree on the style of the leadership.

However; there's a Dutch saying which says: "there are several ways to Rome".
Meaning: there are several ways to do it.
You can either be alpha by being a complete dick which everybody wants to be liked by; you can be a laid back guy who doesn't give a phuck, your version of a true leader and so on.

Don't get me wrong; I do agree with you that this probably is the nicest and most comfortable alpha-style

Your English is very good, Ilya. Much better than my Russian. I feel almost guilty for being a native English speaker. Even all the way in Siberia, fluent English is thriving.

You're right, but I think there's more to it than that. Altruism is a beautiful human trait, but what about the Ayn Rand's of the world who feel that it's weakness. People like her feel motivated to take charge of their own destiny, and that's an alpha trait. However, people like this tend to be empty, and they isolate themselves from others and emotions. That's where the Altruism comes in. Rand was wrong about that.

This is gonna be off-topic, but I have to ask. Any good Siberian punk recommendations? I'm getting into Igor Letov's "Everything is going according to the plan," but the recording itself is choppy.

For me, being an alpha male is being the best possible you

You are either born an alpha or a beta. It is in your fucking nature. You can't just BE an alpha because you play your shitty, childish, fucked up games. Ffs get a fucking clue. Pretending to be something you are not will bring a lifetime of misery. Most girls prefer betas. They don't want an unreliable dick head acting like a fucking gorilla who will only hurt them and make them unhappy. They prefer reliable betas who won't break their hearts. How many times do you morons need to be fucking told this? And stop hitting on girls who are beautiful when you are an ugly prick. Get real.