Hi guys.

Im busy on the style life challenge. I have got as far as day 2. I am struggling to open random strangers(Im supposed to make small talk with them). I literally freeze up like I have a mental block or something.I can't think of anything to say,which angle to approach from etc etc. I don't think I have had a bad experience with opening women ,I just psych myself out before I have even started.

If anyone can help me out with openers that work well and obviously give me more advice regarding my sticking point I'd greatly appreciate it!!

Regards
Jotun101

_________________
"Love em and leave em, on with the show -ACDC

The issue is that you are thinking way too much. Act normal. Your biggest lack right now is in confidence obviously. Approach them and talk about whatever you want to talk about. If you find the person unattractive, uninteresting or you are not feeling the situation, don't do it. Don't force yourself into an awkward situation although you can certainly grow from such.

Approaching and attracting women is natural. Build a social bond first and slowly act slightly more attractive and seductive than you think is normal. It actually is normal, it just seems intense to you since you have never done it correct.

_________________
FREE Confidence Ebook:https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/487644

Motivation, Attitude and Growth! The MAG Blog
http://wearemag.blogspot.com/
@TheMAGblog

Thanks for your advice. Im going to keep at it and also try to meet up with some PUA's in my area and see if I can go and scout with them. I think my problem(like you said) is thinking about it too much ,instead of putting it out of my mind until I am about to approach,I break the 3 second rule by like 500000000000 seconds haha

_________________
"Love em and leave em, on with the show -ACDC

Try situational or observational openers. Also try skipping the greeting and just start talking to people: eg. Not "hello... I like your dog, what kind is it?" Rather, "wow, I like your dog".

Can this also work with things that the person is wearing such as items of clothes or shoes/cell phone etc? Ill also search situational openers on this site and see what I find. I appreciate the help guys!

_________________
"Love em and leave em, on with the show -ACDC

The whole "freezing up" thing is due to you over thinking it. Exactly as everyone else said. If you enjoy studying look up viktor frankl's idea of "hyper-intention". In short its an idea that says people create their anxieties through an extreme inclination to achieve a pre conceived ideal situation (hyper-intention). This creates a paradox where one becomes "frozen" because they cannot bear to jump into a situation that may change the pre concieved situation.

To undo this try to think of the fear you carry with you when your about to talk to a stranger. Get a clear picture of it and then actively try to make that fear a reality. For instance if your afraid a woman will slap you when you say hi then try your hardest to get her to slap you. This should free your mind of the anxiety.

I think acting natural doesn't come natural to you. That's normal, but its obviously problematic.

Like was said before, you have fears of rejection and failure which hang over you and impair your ability to relax and go with the flow.

What you might want to try is starting things out with something absurd, something that couldn't possibly make you seem normal. By doing this you already know that people will probably laugh at you, and in fact, you are embracing that type of response. This goes back to the old technique of walking around the beach with a dildo strapped to your forehead while wearing a dress. It will desensitize you to awkwardness and social disdain.

I have a One Direction opener I made up....keep in mind I'm in my 30s. Go up to some girls, a woman, a man...anyone, and tell them you have a quick question. "Who is your favorite member of One Direction?" All you need to know is the name Harry or Liam. If they say Harry, you say "I'm more in the Liam camp myself." or vice versa. Usually the people won't know any names and just laugh and be like WTF? You can't beat that as just an absurd ice breaker of an opener. You can really go anywhere from there, and now the pressure is off.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I'm sorry to disagree. It's not normal and natural to him YET. He needs to do it a bunch, then girls stopping, girls not stopping, girls giving number, girls not giving number... it all becomes part of his daily life. It becomes natural to him. Then it's just a matter of seeing how it goes. If he chokes, then he chokes. That's normal and natural.

You're dealing with a combo of approach anxiety and probably having too much pua data in your head.

You stated not knowing which angle to approach from. For now, forget all that's in your head about angles, eye contact, body positioning, and all that. The time to analyze your eye contact etc. is after you've been in a bunch of sets and THEN looking back using your pua knowledge and directing yourself as far as areas you need to improve on.

You mentioned going to look up some situational openers. Scrap that. All the situational openers you could ever want are already in your brain. And they don't have to be complex, creative, witty or anything like that.

Here's an example: Some chick looks lost. You go up to her, "You look lost." "Are you?" Another girl is playing fetch with her dog. "Beautiful dog, what kind?" Observe what is going on and use that for an opener; then build a convo around what you first talked about.

You're only out to explore and get a little conversation going; it's not as daunting of a thing as it may seem to be right now, as you'll find out once you've been in the game for a while.

The girls are bored. Go make their day with a nice lil chat would ya?

Yeah pretty much sums it up.

When your "in game", you wanna think about as little things as possible.
1) open (you can script this on the spot. situational is great)

2) transition

3) Have a conversation (if you fail here doesnt matter, get the first two down)

When your "off game", thats when you can get complicated. Especially in structuring your own learning curve.
You should focus on breaking it down. Break your learning into as small pieces as you can manage. You have to be your own coach since you don't have one.

1) practise opening, and forget about how the rest of the convo goes.

2) practise something else .. whatever. You manage your learning.

Gdluck,
Translation.

_________________
Musician, Gym Junkie, Entrepreneur, Dating Expert.

Navigating Social Relationships
http://datingcoachsingapore.com

We have an extensive body of knowledge.

We have the BEST MINDS you will ever find on social-interaction and relationships.