Hi guys,

Please scroll down to the bold if you don't want to read the background story and go straight to the shit-tests. but only helps

A little background on the girl I'm sort-of dating:

I met this girl through a dating site. Started of saying just friends but I let it be clear, there's no labels and limits. Meaning, a dating site is not for just friends. I texted her for a while 1-2 months before we actually met up. Conversed on our first meet up of coffee. I didn't escalate on purpose as I was gauging the interest level. I got a text immediately that night after the meetup

Talked more and asked her out on a date for V-day. We were going out to eat - dinner. Before leaving she texts, "are we supposed to get each other anything? Just being sure but I don't think we're like that....?"

My response: It's a V-day date. You get what you earn but not necessary to bring anything. I didn't get her anything for the date once she said this. At the end of the date. I waited once the bill came in - she pulled out her card and I said No, it's a date. I got this one. Didn't go in for a kiss that night.

Asked her out the following weekend but this time all i said I just wanna see you. She brought alcohol. Things started heating up (as I'd already started escalating through text). In person, went straight to the "craziest things you've ever done?" I BS-ed a lil bit and messed around to find out what her stories were. She could be BSing but point is - got the topic where it needs to be. We split the bill - she says "I'm an independent woman" I said "that's what I like". We went out to the club, I escalated, got her in my arms. She held my hand. Things heated up at the club and i went in for it, K-closed for a little bit.

She dropped me off at my friends house. Texted her the next day throughout. Then the day after the next, I texted her saying I loved how I was taken care of as I was a little too tipsy and she says told you I gotchu. I asked, can you make plans to free next week - for us? She replies - you may not be drunk on alcohol right now but you may be on lack of sleep (as I texted in early morning) but I'll try super hard to be free"

She said: "did you have a hot-dream about me and sleep texted?"
Me: "Not misleading. What I'm saying is free up"
Me: "I have a tendency to go after my dreams, hot or not"
Her: "Haha pretty sure I'm not your dream girl but sure, we can see what happens, where this goes"
Me: "I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to"
Her: "I know. We can discuss more in person "
(I said i'm looking for long-term but did say I like an independent woman but one who cooks once in a while - she doesn't cook)

She talks about an event going on next week (which was yesterday). We go out, I bring a friend with me, a girl friend of her shows up with another girl. So 5 of us. We hopped bars. Walked together with her though in the group the whole time. At one point again she brought up - what did you want to talk about? (referring to me talking about where me n her are going and if we're looking for the same sort of relationship - longterm I believe)

My response: I'm drunk - we'll talk later when I'm sober but you can try to get it out of me. She started kissing my neck and I just escalated - just made out. We hopped to another bar with the group. I didn't give in to what I wanted to talk about the entire time.


During the day yesterday though, I started getting little shit tests. Saying "I want some water, can you get me some water" Some I passed, some I didn't. I grabbed her water but I drank some right out of it and then gave it to her. We were at the bar, there were a few shirts for us we could pick up, she said I want shirts, "can you get me the shirt?" I made her walk to it with me and made her grab it.

Started asking me, can you hold my water? I said no. She tries to be slick saying here have this water to drink, so I drink it and shes haves me to hold this. I flirt as if nothing happened. But here's my question:

How would YOU rock these shit tests?

what do I look like? a butler? stop being so lazy

with a massive grin on my face or a very serious face

Make her win sometimes, but just SOMETIMES. Example: you'll hold the bottle but won't get the shirt for her.

It seems like you have a pretty weak frame in this relationship. TBH, I wasn't sure if you were the man or the woman at some points in the story. Don't ask if she can make time for you next weekend...say "Hey I'm going to a party next weekend. Would you like to come with me?" I'd also say as a general man rule, don't ever get more drunk than your date. The fact that she had to take care of you again makes her seem like the man here.

I wouldn't even call what she's doing shit tests at this point. She already has an idea of the type of guy you are. She knows that she's got you wrapped around her finger so why not start asking for favors? You have to take back the frame and remember that she should be chasing you. Never the other way around. Look up articles by Rollo Tomassi on therationalmale.com if you want more examples of what I'm talking about when it comes to holding a dominant masculine frame.

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Hey bro. I'd say ur looking at this from the wrong perspective. Don't examine everything too closely and don't worry about nailing every single shit test. Life then becomes an endless onslaught of shit tests which takes a lot of the beauty out of it. This woman likes you. She likes you bro! When a woman spends this much time with you she likes you. Generally when a woman starts throwing down these sorts of tests its a brilliant sign. It means she likes you and is giving a massive doorway to be playful. Shes acting like a brat on fucking purpose so that you can play with her. She just wants to play. Just imagine shes shooting you with a watergun or something. Shoot her back.

Theres so much you can do here. Just keep it playful.

She asks you to hold her glass:

1. Ignore her and be like "you look soo cute with that glass in your hand". Then walk off.

2. Take the glass, dip your fingers in and flick some water on her.

3. Say no calmly.

4. Take the glass. Then get her to do something for you in the future.

I mean this is all about judgement. The more bratty she is the more you can get away with. If she genuinely needs help then help her. If she wants to play, play with her. Shit tests are all about give and take and communicating where you stand. Try not to think of them as simply as passing or failing.

Hey bro,

Let me start off by saying you are on the right track looking for help and you have made some decent moves. That being said, you come off as AFC pretty hard and i'm sure she senses it. First advice is to give her a shit test.. Best one I can think of is let her see you hitting on another girl, make her jealous. That should end the shit tests right there.. However, you asked the best way to handle the shit tests so I guess I can cover that.

1. Can you get me some water?

- I would reply with something like "what in it for me?" with a smile of course. You handled it well by taking a swig out of it. Test passed.


2. Can you get me a shirt?

- " how about you get me a shirt". I am a dirtbag though so maybe you should listen to someone else about this one. "i'll buy you one if you buy me one" is another win-win (can't tell from you post if you were buying it for her or if it was free)

3. Will you hold my water?

- don't say no flat out. That looks really bad. I would either ask her to hold my keys, or make her give me a kiss/compliment my strong hands ect., or some stupid shit like that. Point is, never hold it for nothing and don't say no.

In closing, good work on recognizing the shit tests.. My personal opinion is shut her shit down with a shit test of your own. Good luck my man.

I don't think that on a day 3, you can call the the things she said were shit tests in the usual definition of the word. A shit test is a quick way for a woman to see what kind of guy you are when she just met you.
In your case I don't think this is the case and she probably just wants to 'feel like a woman', which here means that you do shit for her.

I honestly do not know how to treat them best, perhaps the same as ordinary shit tests would work, but remember that this is not completely the same as what the literature calls a 'shit test'.