Recently, instead of studying shallow routines, I have sought axioms that apply to life and personal growth as a whole. Below is a Law I found in Robert Greene's 48 Laws of power. I have abided by the law at times, and transgressed it at times. The point of this post is to compare experiences on the truth of the words below.

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.


My observations:

-More often the case, I feel that a create greater sexual tension when I say very little, and speak in a low soft voice. (Almost a whisper). Sometimes women ask me what did I say, as if the are hanging on my words. Key to the approach is a deep tone, slow rhythm, and low volume. Also eye contact (basically eye fuck them), and use slow gestures. Many times I will only say 1 sentence, or keep my responses to a few words. If they do not respond right away, I pause as long as necessary and maintain eye contact. The result being that you dominate the conversation while the woman is more invested in the conversation. Like the law says, my words are brief, banal, vague, and open-ended. I do not place and value in the words I use or the message they convey, rather I focus on the feel my words create.

Abiding by the law seems to be effective in my case.

-On the other hand, when I talk fast and move fast, I do not feel like I leave much of an effect on women. When talking fast and moving fast, I seem to rely on the content of my words, and my quick wit. Sometimes this works, but far less than the approach above.

I am left with the impression that the words you say are not important at all, or very little. Rather, how say things is much more important. Furthermore, the much less you say the better, because when you speak less, you rely much more on body language and tonality. Additionally, the less you say the more each word counts, which makes each word more interesting and powerful.

Anyone else have a similar experience as to one of the approaches, or better yet has seen the difference between the two?

Very true. It gives off a confident vibe as well as allows her to support the conversation rather then have you carry it, which I believe gives more of a sense of commonality and connection. How you talk is much more important then what you say. Great post, Very useful!

One thing that you need to remember is that Greene's 48 Laws are not set in stone. At the end of every chapter, Greene provides a few brief examples on why it will not work in certain social contexts.

Greene is not exactly a power broker nor someone who hobnobbed with the rich and powerful. He is a desk editor if I'm not mistaken. If you know what a desk editor is (I know because I've worked part time at a publishing house to get by in college), then you'll get my drift.

Moreover, not everyone can be a Sun King like Louis XIV. Without the gift of gab, there won't be a Winston Churchill nor there will be a Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his famous fireplace chat. There won't be a Fidel Castro either (who got laid with several different women every day) nor there will be a Mao Tse Tung.

In vino veritas. In wine there is truth. People who talk (just not that much) can easily gain trust than the silent ones. It's an age old wisdom from the early Germanic tribes to the most sophisticated courtiers of the most famous and notorious French monarchies, from the most violent Japanese warlords and their samurai warriors to the most peaceful priests who brew some of the world's best beers and wines.

You'll also have to consider that Greene's examples involve men in power dealing with other men. The conversation dynamics with women is very different.

How do I know this? My friends who had the gift of gab got laid a lot more in college than those who were frugal with their words.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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^You raise some good points. I believe you may be able to say a lot, so long as everything you say in valuable, though that does not occur too often.

I find that talking a lot, and enthusiastically, can bait her into reciprocating so long as you STOP at the right time and don't go rambling. it's good to have passions and talk about them, the James Dean thing wears off kinda fast once you've attracted them.

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Excessive talking can work wonders IF your funny and ONLY in the beginning.Once your in you need to rely more on body language and eye contact...Ive experimented with this and have blown sure things by going on and on even when it was insanely funny shit-the point is that stand up comedy and cuddle time are mutually exclusive..
Picture Vince Vaughn's character in swingers as a perfect example...The scene in the trailer when he's rambling and he's absolutely killing and the chicks are eating it up his witty shit.
THEN.. watch him stfu as he starts looking her up and down. He knows he's already in you see.
No more chatty cathy needed.
It's a brilliant scene and so true to life.

^agreed. I have been experimenting around with different degrees of vocal communication. I have come up with this:

Start of the night/ Open: Talk to multiple sets. When in set talk a lot for a short amount of time, and then move to the next set.

Early/ Middle: Focus on just a few sets. Talk a decent amount, but throw in more subtle body language communication, eye contact, and physical contact. ABout 50/50

Late/Middle: Isolate one set a chick. Use more body language,etc. Talk with a more sexual vibe. Talking 40/ body language 60.

End of night close: Talk when necessary and only really use your words to accomplish a close. A lot of physical contact, perhaps making out and a little into foreplay. 25/75