it seems like im one of very few people that things just dont happen for, i mean i can feel it and sense it. dont get me wrong, im popular, good looking, and a bit of a prty animal, im funny and girls seem to love me......but nothing goes anywhere, dates/relationships and sex just seem to happen for everyone else, it just seems to flow........dont get me wrong though, i do suffer with sexual anxiety and anxiety for relationships and dating, it just doesnt seem like im ready lol, i dont feel comfortable around a girl unless she can have a laugh with me aswell because i have been decribed and i know i am quite wacky but in a good way lol, maybe im just struggling to find that match??????????????. i do enjot being on my own a lot of the time but maybe my subconcious anxiety and fear is making excuses in my head and putting things on hold for me because im 21 now and have never been in a relationship....im not a virgin, but have never had sober sex, help guys please!!!

Can you give an example of a set or social interaction and where you think you might have lost it?

When drinking, you lose a lot of the mental bullshit and go into a nice flow state. If you want to achieve it sober, you can learn to meditate. My experience with flow states and meditation is you need to be devoting a lot of time and energy to it and putting a lot of focus into it.

Why don't you try drinking a bit less and observing your behavior while drunk. "What am I doing now that I'm not doing while I'm sober? Why is that?"

If there's an internal insecurity, you need to figure it out and attack it.

Newbie 2c