| This is my first post guys.
I used to be into PUA 4 years ago when the book "The Game" first came out. When this book came out I learnt everything I could find on how to pick up woman (I was 22 back then). Im a car saleman for BMW so Im naturally confident and can make friends easily, so I pciked up everything pretty easily.
Now theres plenty of information out there on how to pick up girls etc. But not alot on how to pick up a soul mate or girl friend. So I wrote this in 2008 for some friends on facebook who needed from advice.
Anyway let me know what you think.
My 6 steps to success!!! listed in order of importance
1. You don’t need a girlfriend. It sounds like a whole lot of new age crap, but discovering yourself is the first step to a lasting relationship. There is a difference between need and want. You are allowed to want a girlfriend, but if you think that you need a girlfriend to fulfil some sort of void in your life, then when the pressure comes on you will come across needy and insecure (NB Stalking is not appropriate behaviour). Becoming someone who is comfortable with their own company, not relying on someone else for their self worth or life’s satisfaction is the first critical step we must ALL take, without it any relationship will end up in a bad place. Girls can smell someone that is desperate for a relationship a mile away. If you need a girlfriend then you’re probably insecure and needy. Both of those end relationships before and after they begin
2. Hygiene. Taking care of your-self is important. Clothes are not everything, Smell is the first and worst lasting impression you can make. SHOWER REGULARLY. Go into a nice shop, find a great looking girl and ask her to pick you a fragrance that she thinks is nice. Buy the bottle labelled PARFUM. It is stronger and the scent will last longer. DO NOT USE TOO MUCH. Shower well with a non fragranced soap and then put on a couple of sprays of your fragrance behind your ears and on the little v of your collarbone just before you head out of the house. Clothes come second. If you do not have a girl or guy in your close friends that is stylish, find one and observe what they wear. Ask them what they think will look good on you and develop your fashion sense. The general idea here is to make a positive impression. There are more drastic measures you can take such as peacocking, or attention diversion but at this stage, we don’t want to confuse you. Look decent, SMELL FANTASTIC. Girls are not by nature as attracted to the physical as guys, therefore you do not have to be as physically attractive. If a girl EVER tells you that you smell good, that means two things, a: she noticed a good smell and tracked it down to you, b: she really liked the way you smell.
3. Personality. This is the third step. Now that you have established that you do not need a relationship and have had a much needed shower, you need to make sure you are presentable to be considered for a relationship. People are attracted to personality; money, looks, smell and fame only play an introductory role. Work on it!! Personality is about letting people see the real you, we are all created unique, you need to discover yourself and then let that be laid out plain to see. If you do not capture someone interest then you are invisible to them. DO NOT try and be something you are not in order to be interesting to your target. People will spot a nerd trying to be a jock a mile away and generally be unimpressed. People respect a geek who never tries to hide who he really is or where his interests really lie. Don’t get me wrong, you could create for yourself an alter-ego, but it will always be that. One day you will realize that you have been living a lie and the taste in your mouth you thought was sweet will kick into bitter mode. There is nothing wrong with finding a target (potential relationship) and investigating her interests and then aligning yourself but if you are just pretending to be something you are not, you will end up with the proverbial egg on your face. Here is the key, If you are genuinely interested in peoples interests then you will be interesting to people.
4. Conversation. Girls don’t want to sit there and listen at how awesome you are at whatever it is you are awesome at. The unseen danger here is that she has probably met someone more awesome at what you are awesome at and you will come off looking almost awesome. She will find out these semi-awesome talents later. Everyone’s favourite subject is talking about themselves, they don’t actually think that so don’t tell them, but as in the above people who take a genuine interest in you are generally interesting. Ask them questions about there hobbies and how their week was/is. NOTE this is not the Spanish inquisition. This needs to be a push pull conversation that focuses on them. Ask them questions where they have the opportunity to ask you the same in reverse but answer in a way that turns into another question for them, If you notice yourself talking about yourself then you have been talking about yourself for too long. If they have similar interests to you then lucky boy! Conversation will be easy. If not you may have to move onto more emotionally dangerous subjects such as politics, family or heaven forbid the E! Channel.
5. Talent. Develop a talent!!! If you’re good at anything at all then develop it!!! Don’t use it all the time. Moderation is the key. If you are awesome at the guitar, then one day when you are around a girl that you like and there’s a guitar handy, use it and show your talent off. Letting a girl know that you can “do” something means that you are not a dud. Men by nature are Do’ers, what is the first question you ask someone when you meet them? “what do you do?” that is because it is what makes us tick, it gives us identity. When you get identity you realize there is more to life that girlfriends, you have a place in the world, you are a GUITARIST!! Guys who cannot DO anything will be clingy and needy because the girl will become the centre of their universe. Girls don’t want to be the centre of your universe. The want a man with purpose, with goals, a man who has already shown he can master a talent, a man like Druss the legend, and they want to be on that Man’s arm so all the other girls know that Druss the legend chose them. When the lights go out and everyone else has gone, you can lie to them and tell them they are the centre of your universe. It is only ok to lie in this situation, as both of you will know it is really a lie. If you don’t understand this step don’t panic. Just sit down, have a think about what you show a slight talent for and then develop it, if you are not talented the get some magic tricks and NEVER tell anyone how you do them otherwise it is no longer magic, it is just a trick and tricks are lame.
6. The next step. Hanging out with a group of people can be a fun and easy way to spend time getting to know a girl, but if you never man up and ask her out on a “date” then you will never move from acquaintance to relationship. At all times along this journey you need to refer back to step 1, however if you are truly ready and have realized you do not need this girl then get some balls and tell her you would love to take her out somewhere. Have a plan, girls love plans they don’t know about. DO NOT ASK A GIRL OUT UNLESS SHE SIGNALS THAT SHE MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY INTERESTED. The worst thing you can do is be labelled the guy who asks everyone out. This is not fishing with a fishing rod, if you cast enough times you may find a fish. This is like harpoon fishing, you have swum for hours to find the perfect fish and now that you have her in your sights you will wait until you are close enough before you strike. You are selective, you have chosen this girl specifically, You know her enough to know that you want to know more. Use that line it is gold. The three ‘knows’ will confuse them and they will probably say yes without realizing it.
You are now almost there. I should help you no further otherwise she will just fall in love with me.
Remember, you are special, so are retards so don’t get too hung up on yourself.
Thanks,
Greig
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CHAT