First of all, i give this credit to the pandora's box. helped me so much. Why do we need to know her type? it is because each girl is different from each other. But they have 3 common problem so it doesn't make them unique. so to find her type, we should know how each girl find a solution to their BIG 3. this determines her type. here it goes:
First Line (Time Line): Tester vs. iNvestor
Simply put – a Tester prefers to date multiple men simultaneously, and an Investor is VERY uncomfortable doing so and prefers to focus all of her efforts on one single guy.
You could say that a Tester can be attracted to many guys at once, but an Investor is not.
The Test / Invest element is the most fluid and most easily able to change of the three character dimensions. It can change gradually with age, but also depends on her individual dating experiences.
Tester: It’s all about emotional diversification. She doesn’t want to put all of her eggs in one basket. Most likely it comes from being hurt in the past – romantically.
So she tests. She keeps men on the side. She flirts heavily and leads guys on.
What’s important is the understanding behind WHY she does these things. Many people think that women date many guys at the same time in order to figure out which one is the PERFECT guy.
And they’re wrong.
In fact the Tester does NOT really even CARE about finding ONE perfect guy. She is getting the total package by getting certain types of value and emotions from the combination of guys.
And if they are young, they are simply thinking “I’m just having fun for a few years and then I’ll find someone to settle down with later”.
And surprisingly – within those few years, even if they find that perfect one, they might still date others who are not as good as him.
I’m going to generalize a little bit – and this isn’t the case 100% of the time, but in general a Tester has suffered some kind of romantic loss where she has felt cheated and betrayed by a guy in the past.
A TESTER dates multiple guys to feel significance – to be validated as a desirable, attractive woman. And this is VERY important to women.
One of the girls who I met doing this actually dropped out of college for a YEAR and is now a year behind so she could move into the city and SERIOUSLY date men full time – and on average was dating 8 guys at once – all of which were completely clueless. She would treat all 8 of them pretty well – so they all thought they were the only one…
iNvestor: So while a Tester is indifferent to really finding that one “perfect guy” an Investor DOES have getting the perfect guy in the back of her mind.
However – it’s not that she finds the perfect guy and then decides to stick with him – it’s that she is trying to FIX him. She sees that he has potential. The guy has POTENTIAL to be perfect for her. And that is what keeps her devoted to him.
She will usually have ONE THING she is trying to “change” so that he becomes perfect for her. But here’s the kicker – once she does get him to change that one thing – her interest usually goes right down the tubes.Because for her – the feeling of having something to work on, something to “fix” is what keeps her interested and attracted. That will play heavily into our in depth strategies for attracting an Investor.
Investors make GREAT girlfriends – that much is true. And well, Testers can be a lot of fun, but if you want to change them into an Investor, that is going to take a different strategy - which we’ll discuss later in the program.
What’s even more interesting is that an Investor will stay with a guy until she is CONVINCED he is not the one. The key word – being convinced. She usually has to be convinced BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT that he is not the one. And if she is convinced, she will move on to the next guy, sometimes with a testing small phase of in between them.
And an Investor has also suffered some kind of romantic loss – but does NOT feel cheated or betrayed – either she had to move away from a guy she really loved, or lost him in some other way – OR and this is a big one – blames HERSELF for the loss.
Second Line (s3x Line): Justifier or Denier
Deny / Justify is the s3xUAL dimension of a woman’s character type.
To me, this is the most important dimension, and it is the one that I pay attention to the most in my interactions.
I will often build out my entire strategy based on this one dimension alone, and if you really nail it, with master execution, the other two will not matter nearly as much.
The reason is because our most predominant role in a woman’s life is s3xual. s3x is the reason why we all exist, and it is very primal and basic.
So pay attention.
Let’s talk first about the conflict a little bit. Most, and if I had to put a number on it, probably 95% of women have experienced SOME level of s3xual trauma – or negative feelings and emotions associated with s3x and a lack of control about s3x.
This is something that is a challenge to understand as men.
The analogy I like to use is being surrounded by a bunch of men, who are all bigger and stronger than you, more aggressive than you, and also want to have s3x with you.
Denier: A Denier will essentially BLOCK out and remove those negative experiences from her memory. She will literally believe they didn’t exist.
That is why many cases of molestation, s3xual harassment and rape go unreported. Her mental mechanism prevents her from confronting the memory.This allows her to still view s3x as an incredibly powerful, positive and pleasurable event. In my experience, and in the experience of many of my trainers, Deniers are much more immersed in s3x, and go a lot deeper into the feelings than Justifiers do.
And for that reason – it can be a more satisfying relationship in many ways. Having s3x with a Denier is more special and unique because they have had far fewer s3xual partners.
Quite often Deniers have a strong religious background as well. The religious training tends to compartmentalize the different areas of her life, and she will have much stronger mental filters to keep things separate.
This allows Deniers to have a tendency to sometimes live double lives, and do so very effectively.
I once dated a girl who was a Denier, and I was with her for a full five years before finding out that she was once raped by a guy many years before. She never included this incident when she talked about her s3xual past and did not count it when she told me how many guys she was with.
Now of course I never held this against her, and in fact I was very understanding… But what’s interesting is this: It wasn’t until I started this research and had a very deep understanding of the female mind that she brought it up... And it was something she sensed in me – it wasn’t that the project prompted me to ask her about it.
And that is something that you can expect to happen in your life as well… as you get deeper into this system, you will find women becomingmore and more open and honest with you. They will sense that you “are one of them” and things that she would NEVER tell other guys will be put on the table.
And no, it’s not all stuff you don’t want to hear – there are some AMAZING benefits to being in this “secret society”. Women will be much more open to letting you have multiple relationships, casual / no strings attached relationships, and they will feel much more comfortable showing you the full spectrum of their s3xuality.
That’s beside the point. Let’s get back to Deniers. There are definitely some downsides to Deniers. First of all, and this applies to ALL women but women, but women will sometimes be more likely to lie to you the more they like you.
Why? They lie because they can and they will be more concerned with maintaining a certain perception if they like you. There’s more to lose if you don’t approve of their image.
And – if they cheat (which is actually less likely to happen than with a Justifier) they will be FAR less likely to let you find out. Usually it will just be a onetime thing, and they will suppress the memory as if it never happened.
That is something that women are MUCH better than men at. They are very aware of how they are being perceived at all times – especially Deniers.
Justifier: A Justifier has the same negative s3xual experiences that a Denier has – but she uses a different mental strategy altogether… She will JUSTIFY the experience by lowering the significance of s3x in her mind.
By lowering the significance of s3x, it makes the negative experience less painful. This allows her to retain full access the memory, because it has a much lower intensity.
The mental dialogue will be something like “oh s3x doesn’t mean that much” or “s3x isn’t such a big deal” – and this dialogue aligns her full belief set to become congruent with that.Now as a consequence, s3x actually begins to mean less to these women. She will give it up much easier, be more likely to do things like have s3x in public, have threesomes with other men or women, and go into professions like being an escort or stripper. (Btw not all strippers are Justifiers – just a vast majority.)
And as such – having s3x with a Justifier carries much less weight than it would with a Denier.
Justifiers, unlike Deniers are very s3xually open and will sometimes have hundreds of s3xual partners over their lifetime.
One big surprise to me is the sheer number of women that I met during the project that have been with over 100 men. Openly, and shamelessly.
And these weren’t just cougars in their forties either – many of them were in their early twenties who were able to accumulate those numbers in college, often sleeping with a new guy every other weekend.
Just because a Justifier has a lot of experience and may be considered loose s3xually, it does not mean that she cannot be an amazing girlfriend.
In fact, if you can become her “prince charming” Justifiers can become incredibly loyal and safe from cheating. This is something I’ll talk about in depth when we get into the advanced strategies. Here’s a hint though – you will NOT become her prince charming if you are too focused on s3x.That’s a huge difference. Because she has reduced the significance of s3x in her mind – if you seem to desperate for s3x, or make s3x seem like a big deal, or make too many advances, or in general seem like too horny of a guy, she will lose respect immediately, and it’s usually something that’s nearly impossible to recover from.
And when they go with your advances, Justifiers will sometimes go so far as to think that hooking up was their idea! This makes them VERY open to s3xual reframing, s3xual prizing and falsely accusing them of being perverts and wanting you too much. Again this will be covered in depth in the advanced strategies later on.
And if you’re dating a Justifier – you have to be extremely vigilant. Justifiers love to test your limits (don’t confuse this with the testing dimension, I’m talking about testing YOU) but a Justifier will test you over and over to see how much of a man you are. You need to be VERY aware of these tests so that you can nip them in the bud by punishing them IMMEDATELY.
And it’s for that reason, that testers are a big challenge to many guys – but if you pass her initial tests, having s3x with her is INCREDIBLY easy and takes barely any effort at all. If you get alone with her it’s RARE there will be any resistance whatsoever.
One final thought – do not make the mistake of thinking that a Denier is a good girl and a Justifier is a bad girl. It has nothing to do with m0rals or her overall intentions being altruistic or mean spirited. It is simply her individual defense mechanism to dealing with a very real and powerful emotional conflict. The key is not to judge it, but instead to understand it, and know how to use it in your favor.
The Third Line (Relationship line): Realist vs Idealist
This dimension describes a woman’s relationship – and general strategy for balancing her dating and romantic goals against all other aspects of her life.
The terms Realist and Idealist really describe how they view their future life with their partner.
Out of the three dimensions, this is the least likely to change, and tends to stay pretty constant throughout a woman’s life.
Again the Realist / Idealist dimension is the one that deals with the conflict between her inner biological drive to be a mother and take care of her family, and the fast paced, modern society that pushes her to work on her career.
Again – her biological drive urges her to focus all of her energy on her family, but society, especially her schooling, urges her to work on her career.
The Realist / Idealist dimension is less of a coping strategy, but more describes which drive she favors. Of course, every woman will have some component of each, but there will ALWAYS be one that she favors and gives priority over the other.
All women have a fear of not finding a great guy to be with, that will provide and take care of her and her family – but Realists feel the fear the most, and because of that strive to become completely self-sufficient.
Realist: The Realist is a woman who is Realistic in the sense that YES, it is possible – especially with today’s divorce rates – that she will be not end up with a guy to provide for her.
So she is the type of woman who will focus on her studies and have very ambitious career goals. She will often be more logical in her thinking and I’ve met some Realists who were incredibly sharp in business.
Most of the Realists who we met were born with those natural urges to become housewives, but over the course of growing up and in childhood, have seen men who were incapable of taking care of their wives or families. It could have been their father, uncles, or husbands of their mother’s friends… Either the men left completely, or were just not suitable to be good supportive husbands.
And then they would also see these women who have their own careers, who were independent and seemed to be a nice positive reinforcement of the negative effects of incapable men.
So really – this dimension is all about upbringing, and that’s the reason why it’s the least likely to change throughout her life.
A few years back, I was in a situation where I was struggling financially, and I actually met a woman who was a Realist (looking back she was a NJR). And it turned out she had built and sold a business, and was very successful.Having this woman attracted to me, and dating her was a lifesaver… She would buy me nice new clothes, she would take me out to dinner, take me on vacations – and she even helped out with critical things I needed like a stove and refrigerator.
That is very typical when you get a woman who is both an investor and a Realist…
Other Realists I’ve dated have all been very self-sufficient, they prefer to pay for or at least SPLIT the bill at dinner, and this is really enjoyable to a lot of guys.
But in the back of her mind, with that self-sufficiency she is always going to have a belief that you may not be there for her one day, so she will in a sense always keep one foot outside the door. And – if she is a Tester, she will be even more likely to ease that feeling by keeping other guys in her life.
A lot of Realists don’t believe in the idea of marriage. Of course many do – but out of all the women who have told me they have no desire to get married, and don’t plan on getting married, they have ALL been Realists.
It’s not that they can’t be in a functional, loving relationship, it’s that they realize what marriage really is – nothing more than a legal agreement which binds two people and has very little to do with love.
The real mark of a Realist is her self-sufficiency – which some guys might confuse with being masculine… but it isn’t. It’s merely because her fears of being alone are SO great that she resorts to that – but deep down she is still a woman and using the right strategy you can get complete devotion and have a very feminine and loving partner.
Idealist: An Idealist maintains her IDEAL image of a happy man and woman living in a house with a white picket fence and a couple very happy kids.
And this image is so strong, that she is willing to overlook the possibility of it never coming true. She disregards those fears. Of course the fears will always be there – but they don’t affect the way she dreams, and relishes in her fantasy of having a perfect family someday.
Most Idealists were brought up around capable men who were happy in their natural supporting roles. Many Idealists came from families that stayed together, and the parents never got divorced, their dad was successful, and their mom was an awesome housewife and cook, maybe she had a job, maybe not – or she grew up meeting boys who loved her and really took care of her naturally.
As a result she would naturally be less ambitious about the future because she has a strong feeling that she would be taken care of.Dating an Idealist is one of the most satisfying, emotional experiences a man could ever have. She believes in TRUE love and if you ask her about it, she can talk about it, she knows that love is a real thing, and she will gladly share the vision of her ideal future with you.
Idealists love to daydream and often have a vivid imagination. Most of the Idealist strategies rely on taking advantage of that imagination and filling it with thoughts of the two of you being together.
One of the drawbacks is that an Idealist will eventually pressure you to get married if you date her for over two years. This might be great for some guys, but if you’re looking to be a real player and date a lot of women – be careful with that. You could end up breaking some hearts.
so that's it
CHAT
but I could have also identified myself with about 3 others in the list... so..
a little bit hard to read but anyways, great job!