Hey guys, new to the forum and could use a little advice from you master gamers. Im 22 years old and have pretty solid inner game, though I do have my afc moments, still learning. Here's my situation.

Anyway, I met an HB10 at the beach 3 weeks back. She was alone reading so I invited her to sit with me and my friends, from there I got her number and set up a second date. Had sex after the 3rd date. Since then we really hit it off. We've been on 5 or 6 dates and she calls or texts me pretty much everyday. I think we could both sense it getting serious.

Then saturday happened. Some of my friends called and wanted to play basketball at my house ( i have a half court bball court ) while she was at a friend's birthday gathering. I told her to come by after for a glass of wine and to hangout. She came over earlier then expected (mostly because her birthday friend was a no show so she left early) so we were still in the heat of a game. She sat and watched our game and seemed to be a little annoyed but no signs of discontent were glaringly apparent. Afterward we only talked for 15 minutes til she had to get home due to work in the morning, though all seemed good. We didnt talk much sunday til I called her on my break at work to see how her day went. We talked for a little then she brought up saturday night. She said she had fealt uncomfortable watching me play. I play very hard, cause i love the game, but it could have been interpretted as show offy or ball hoggy. She even heard some of my friends talking shit on me from the sidelines, which is normal with 10 competitive guys going at it, but could have been viewed different in her eyes.

Thats when she said, "I don't know, I think my feelings for you have changed" after watching me that night. I asked her if she was serious, and probably sounded a little shocked, cause I was. I simply wrote it off and said that were guys and we go at it and talk shit on eachother. She seemed to be passed it until she brought it up in our conversation again saying she "didnt know how she fealt" about me. At that point I started to get a little short with her and said I had to get back to work, leaving the conversation hanging a bit, though she knew I had a short break. I called her a few hours later with no answer and didnt leave a message.

She texted me back this morning apologizing for missing my call, and I dont know how to assess it. Should I call/text her back, or freeze her out til she's freaking out wondering whats wrong. I would like to know if there's anyway to to get passed the situation without it getting weird. What kind of damage control advice can you guys give me to keep her attracted. Any input is appreciated! Thanks.

Here' s alittle update..

Any opinions about what I might be doing wrong and how I should approach it from here would be awesome.

I talked to her on the phone monday and told her that I didn't want to hangout with someone that was going to judge me by the way I play basketball. She immediately retracted and said its not me, shes been really indifferent lately, and that she still wanted to see me. So everything seemed back to normal, we chatted for while and she invited me to the beach the next day with her friends. I met her and her friends down at the beach and I hit it off with all of them. We went for a hike in the tide pools catching crabs and jumping off rocks. Everything seemed normal.

Then on the way back, we were hiking on some rocks and she started flirting with me, and I attempted to kiss her. She immediately turned her cheek and told me she doesnt do that, and we should talk about it alone. I acted liek it was nothing. When we did get alone in the water she told me she doesn't do those things in front of her guy friends (more specifically her guy friends that are stuck in the friend zone and are still crushing on her). I told her that's rediculous and Ill act however I please. She went on to say we arnt even boyfriend and girlfriend so why does it matter.

I interpretted this as she wanted to be my girlfriend, and was sending me signs. So I said "then be my girlfriend." She even agreed we acted like boyfriend and girlfriend, she even gets jealous when Im with other women, and I know shes not seeing anyone else.

Right when I said it I could tell she was torn. She went on to reveal that a week before I met her she broke it off with her ex boyfriend who was her "first true love" and that she was not completely over him. THis totally caught me off guard and now that ive had time to think about it I feel a bit used. and pissed.

I acted like it wasnt a big deal but I told her I didnt want to invest my time and energy into something and someone that doesnt know what they want. and that her indifference was really just annoying. She then asked if that meant I wasn't going to hangout with her as much now. I simply ended it with a "we'll see". and we rejoined out group. We chatted with everyone for about a half hour til I had to leave.

I leaned over her towel to say goodbye, and she leaned back and kissed me...in front of all her friends...weird huh? I said "ohh now its alright?" and she said "no." I just proceeded to say goodbye to everyone and kind off ignored it. I know its just a little game.

Anyway Im pretty much over the girl, but I would like to know how to approach the situation after what I said and how I reacted to her. I wouldnt mind keeping her around (sex is awesome, and Id like something in return for being played) but I do find her a very desirable woman with a lot qualities I like. Plus I know she likes me a lot, she said it about 10 times in our conversation.

Would it be effective to freeze her out? It seems logical because I told her I wanted some separation. Just wait for her to call me and when she does, act like nothings wrong?

Or should I tell her I have a problem with being her shoulder to cry on and being played...that I deserve better, and that she should call me when her indifference goes away and she knows what shes doing.

Both seem like they would work, but Im no master. What do you guys think?

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Newb.

From what I've read here, I'd say you're dealing with a bit manipulative girl. I should know.

Anyway, you HAVE to be unaffected with her bitching. She says she didn't like the way you played basketball, you say "Oh. Let's get some icecream." Act like It's nothing!

Also on other stuff, like kissing. Maybe some c&f stuff, "You don't like to kiss in public, I don't like to kiss in private" and make her work for that kiss. Hope you get the idea.

I think that the right play here would
I don't think there is a need for a freezout yet. YOU should call HER, spontaniously, and just talk with her. And again, be unaffected by her bitching

Just this week I had a similar case.
I call HB Saturday, she doesn't call back. I call Monday at 14.00, she doesn't pick up. Immediatly send her txt. she txts me at 19.00 that she was in the mountains and didn't have signal (see, she was unaffected by my bitching).
I didn't respond, freezeouted her.

Today, wednesday, she sends me sms at 11.00 saying i should contact her. I didn't. She send me text at 17.00 asked me out tomorrow. I text her back at 20.00, unaffected with "I'm not going to city tomorrow ". Immediatly get a text with shit test: "After all that time not responding to me, you write just that? Thanks alot.".

I respond, unaffected: "Stop bitching. Almost missed my train in the morning and till now didn't have a single minute free. But fortunatly, it's over."

She texted me back, wanting to initiate conversation, but she was clearly insulted.

I asked her "Why are you in a such a bad mood today?" and got the txting going.

I think I just wrote you the script for what you should do in your case.
Just write yourself on a piece of paper and put it in wallet: "Be unaffected."

Hope that helps.

Thanks mago, some really helpful stuff. I know I gave some hints that I was affected, but nothing serious. I did ask her if she wanted to come watch me play basketball after the beach and the look on her fae was priceless. I thnk a short freeze out may be in order just because I told her I didnt want to spend so much time and energy on her if it wasnt going anywhere. I want to at least be congruent with my words and actions. But when we reinitiate contact I will be unaffected by her bullshit and just make sure we have a good time.

I especially like your line "You don't like to kiss in public, I don't like to kiss in private"

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Newb.

Just as long as you do it playfully and unaffected. Don't be too serious and end without a kiss

I hope I'm not stealing your thread, but I think we have the same situation.

So today I initiate txting with my HB in interest, and she did the small freezeout on me!
I sent her txt at 17.00, saying "I have another busy day but here is one sms for you so you won't be in the bad mood again. Hope you have more relaxed day. Enjoy."

I wrote her text which didn't expect her to responde, since I already knew she will not respond in ideal way.
Anyway, she send me text at 23.00, something like: "I just came home, I'm ok. And my phone dieddddd. We'll talk tomorrow. (not in a way that we NEED to talk about something)"

I couldn't decide if i should reply or not.
I went with the "Ok. good night:)" as I think this would appear as unaffected.

Approach a new girl.

How old is this girl? I ask because she actually sounds immature. By telling you that your friends were talking shit about you says what? I interpret it abit as she's trying to de value your friends and value herself. Which could be a good sign. But a bad one aswell, she might be a little crazy or a clinger. Early sign of a girl wanting to control you furhter into the relationship maybe?

With the kissing part, I wouldn't worry about that. I think the best thing for you to do is to lower the amount you talk to her. Call her wayy less often. Text her wayy lest often. Increase the time it takes for you to text back. Become a bit more 'busy' if you will.

If she keeps texting and calling while you are doing a semi freeze you know she's still interested. Don't sweat it, sounds like highschool situations to me.

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Bite of more then you can chew
Then chew like hell

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