There comes a time in every good pick up artists career (or whatever the hell this is) when something just clicks. Its like a switch has been flipped and the things that used to seem hard or challenging seem easy and fun. You're no longer afraid of rejection, or even afraid of success. And it gives you an entirely new perspective.

At one point you're like, why the fuck does this have to be hard? And you start talking to the girl like an actual human instead of an objective. Instead of trying to navigate the vast, complicated battlefield of her mind, you speak to her directly. It makes things so much simpler.

Too often is dating a battle of who expresses the most desire. Its easier just to drop all that defensiveness and be completely and bluntly honest. Drop your guard and she will. This is one of the hardest things, since most pick up artists tend to have trust issues--myself included. But i promise you it has very good results.

Remember that communication is a two way street. You can be blunt and honest, but also considering how she feels about what you're saying is going to determine whether she ACCEPTS what you're saying. Its one thing to say you're horny, its an entirely different thing to expect her to do something about it. for instance, examine the sentence:
"I hope you don't mind that i'm checking you out right now."

Not only are you expressing a sexual interest in her, you're providing an expectation. You're hoping that she doesn't mind at all--and chances are she doesn't. Most times women actually LIKE it when you check them out, they just cave to social pressure and call it creepy because they think otherwise their friends are going to think they're sluts. And if she does mind, its almost as if she's letting you down, crushing your hopes. Don't underestimate the power of your own opinions. They hold as much power as you expect other people to recognize. Don't be afraid to put your hopes on the line, don't be afraid to just be straight up at times. The alpha male isn't afraid to be vulnerable because he knows theres nothing that can touch him.

Food for thought.

nice!

After many years of struggle, I've finally reached that zone a couple weeks ago that you were talking about. Having no fear, and being kind of reckless in a positive way. I started just approaching whoever whenever, thus leading to a lot of experience points without letting it fuck too hard with my self-confidence. It still fucked with it a little, but it forced me to realize the pain was an illusion. I even went through an approach where the girl ended up saying to me, "I don't know you. Please leave, you're making me really uncomfortable." And it didn't even hurt, I just replied something like, "Everybody is strangers when they first meet." and walked away. That kinda helped a lot because you can't really get any worse of a result than that... and the worst didn't even hurt.

Now I approach women as if they are all connected. I don't focus on any one girl. As I talk to random pretty girls throughout the day that I come across, I don't focus on obtaining anyones number; but rather I see it as like a singular conversation with this female hive mind that progresses throughout the day. Then when the beginning of the day has my confidence soaring, is when I slowly start working more & more game into my conversations and make a few good attempts almost every day. I already have 1 full sex success under my belt in the last week that will be a repeat occasion for sure. And now I'm hoping to stack 2 more girls on top of that just as security. Then I'll have my sexual needs taken care of and I can finally concentrate on trying to find a girl I actually like. And since i'll be having sex, Ill be a lot happier. And girls love happy guys, BAM.

But by no means am I perfect yet. But I totally relate to what you said, cuz it's a relief to finally be "over the hill" and just enjoying myself now.

I can thankfully say I now know what it's like to be fearless. Recently it just clicked and I said to myself "F--- it, I don't care what anyone thinks." I feel a lot better about myself and have a lot more confidence. The biggest thing that helped my game tho was working retail. I talk to girls everyday and now it's nbd. Unfortunately this same mentality landed me in the hospital, but hey YOLO.

I hear people all the time talk about fearlessness but I'm not sure that's really the key word. The key is something like equanimity. It's what you said about not getting too high or too low regardless of the current situation. It's a kind of stability that comes from knowing who you are and being alright with it.

Great thread. If you had to tell, how long since you started practicing to get to that exact feeling? How long it took for you to have that click?

if you want to know the feeling we're talking about, you've got to put your fears into perspective. facing them is good, but not if you don't even realize WHAT you're facing. fear is not a big bad scary monster with tons and tons of power. fear is a parasite that burrows into your mind and gains its power by getting you to believe its lies. the more you listen to and believe that voice in your head, the more power it has. the contentment and confidence that i'm talking about comes from just KNOWING that your fears are just a tiny little bug that can be squished under your boot.

in the end, the only power your fears have are the lies it tries to tell you. the day it "clicks" is the day you've flirted with enough women to realize your fears have been lying to you the entire time and its actually a pleasant experience. :p

A lot of the irrational fears come from specific things that used to be actual threats. I deal with that when helping people with public speaking all the time. Public speaking shouldn't feel so dangerous, but there was a time when making a bad impression was a life and death matter. It isn't anymore, but our brains haven't caught up.

It's the same with most relationship fears. Nowadays, the reality isn't as dangerous as it once was.

So it's a process of helping your rational mind calm your irrational mind and let it know that you're no longer in the situation of the past it still thinks you're in. The world has changed.

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