| Eye contact, you want to make sure when you are listening to them you are paying pretty close attention, there is a difference between giving someone your full attention and just staring at them. Make sure you look away here and there, don't get creepy.
Listening is just as important as talking. In fact more important, people love to talk. They pay shrinks in some cases thousands of dollars an hour just to talk. Just find their passion and listen. Passion is something people love talking about, they can go on and on. Let them.
So be sure you are interacting with a them, I mean nodding your head, if they are doing an action copy them.
Enjoy each experience with them. What I mean by this is when we are telling stories we tend to make faces and in doing so reexperience for a short moment that exact emotion. So you mirror their facial reaction and in doing so experience that emotion for a moment.
Your voice should match their emotion just like your face, be soft spoken some times. Be strong others, match their emotion, sometimes however if they are dragging you down you have to raise them. Only match them for a moment. You want to keep what ever regular demeanor you have, keep you frame.
Copy their body language, one of the things we do when we connect with someone is we begin to act like them, we copy their posture, body language, do actions(such as take drinks, take bites, etc.), we begin to be like them. You can counterfeit a connection by doing this. The point is to be subtle here and there until it seems natural for you guys to be totally in sync.
Touch, and closing the distance are very important to building up intimacy. If you want to build a connection touch needs to be established.
Share a personal story, I'm not saying where you made a million dollars or climbed a high mountain. I'm saying share a personal moment that can be somewhat embarrassing but also funny, it shows some humility and people like down to earth people.
This is going to sound very funny but it is something I do and no one really notices but everyone loves. I thank people a lot. I also say congratulations when I hear about something good. Oh you got a new car, that's cool what kind? Congrats on buying your first car, was it? I sneak little compliments in.
People love the sound of their name, love it. Use there name a bit, they will love it, don't use it every sentence but sneak it in more often then most people.
Listen to how people talk and copy their phrases. Man that was massive. You can talk about something else later as Massive.
Tap into their system, how do they process the world? Feel, hear, touch, one of the three. So you want to listen, do they say things like "I see your point" or "I can see what you are saying". "I can't picture that". Then you want to say things like can you see what I am saying. If they say things like "I hear ya", or "man I love the way that sounds". Then you want to auditory things. If they say things like "I could feel it" or "I feel ya". Find ways to say things involving feel.
This should be more then enough. In fact I may have drowned you with too much info. However if you take only a few of these take away Eye contact, finding their passion and listening, emotion matching, and mirroring body language. This stuff is great and I've used all these in different interactions.
Good Luck! _________________ Just another guy from back in the day.
Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com
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