I am new to this site and this is my first question I post so please bear with me and hopefully I can get some great advice.

I am a big guy (don't think fat). I am well over 6 feet tall and while not overly muscular, have big shoulders and weigh in over 230 lbs. For my height I am actually pretty skinny but I wanted to give an image. I also shave my head thanks to premature baldness.

Something I have noticed, and proven over and over, is that women I meet for the first time are usually intimidated by me. I have a great friend and wing man who is actually the same height and size and we have discussed this several times.

We have noticed that our shorter, skinnier friends have a lot more success at first time meetings than we do, surprisingly the smaller the guy, the more success they have. If we are in a bar or nightclub, regardless of the approach or situation, women seem to be hesitant of our approach based off of our size. Unfortunately, we usually tower over women and are twice their size. It may seem like all women love tall, strong men, but in the initial phase not so much.

Women who I have become involved with commonly say they were very intimidated of me at first because I was a "big, scary guy".

On the other hand, we (both) routinely attract larger women. It's as if I am a Big girl magnet, we think it's because we make them feel small for once. (I know that sounds bad but it's the best reasoning we have come up with)

My first question to this community is how to get past the initial physical presence and make a connection. Does anyone have advice on approach and introduction without overwhelming the target? Especially the thin / fit women who I know are half the size of me! How can I use this to my advantage?

you just need to change you style a bit, gaming style i mean.
Woman would feel afraid of you as you may rape them, seriously
you need to play down, try avoiding negs, don't forget to smile while opening, lean back, and specially be carefull with your ioi. Given too early or without their earning it, could make you look more like a threat.
For slim guys it's ok to go aggressive and direct.
But for big guys going direct, it could freak the girl out.
Indirect game would work perfect for you

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I'd bet money it has a ton to do with your body language. Show more submissive signals.

1. Make eye contact
2/3. Smile and Raise your brows following eye contact

Open your arms, when you close your arms you are closing yourself to people.

Your stance should be a little wide but since you are so tall no need to widen your stance a whole bunch(this may be something your doing), a wide stance is a territorial stance.

Shoulders you should have confident wide but RELAXED shoulders. Raised shoulders are a sign of tension. Something you can do is show you aren't threatening when you do the turtle consciously, raised shoulders and a lowered head, it can help make you seem non-threatening. Just make sure you facial reaction isn't fear but comfort so they realize you aren't actually afraid.

Since you are so tall you can tip your head more submissively.

Study little kids more, my friends that are very tall(6'7, 6'8, 6'5, tall men) have fun like little kids and clean up with girls. Kids are never threatening and always have fun, something people love(especially women).

Another way to neutralize your height short or tall, is to sit down. Find a way to sit down with them sooner in a lot of cases if you height is what is making them uncomfortable. Out of sight out of mind as they say, and if your height is intimidating then you can hide it by sitting down.

You have the benefit of size to use to represent masculinity and a high value male to women(instinctively). So all you need to do is show off that you are also non-threatening and confident, something for obvious reasons women love.

Smiling is likely your biggest issue. Smile more and that will be helpful, have fun more, and show submissive signals, and you should end up doing better.

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every other post on this site is guys complaining girls are scared/intimidated of them.. you just PERSONALIZING the behavior of women towards people who approach them.. it's natural to feel anxious and scared and push the person who approaches you away.. women do it all the time and dont think about it.. if anything a guy who is bigger is MORE Attractive to women because they always talk about taller guys..

try dressing a PINK SHIRT a TIE or some slightly feminine colors, but stylish and expensive and not gay.. if you are big muscular fellow you can pull off a pink shirt or something slightly feminine and it might soften you up without making you look flamboyant/gay. (nothing wrong with being gay of course, just saying in terms ppl's assumptions about clothing..)

wear a hat.. go to a dance class. you will naturally start to move in a less intimidating way after you take dance classes for a few months.. but again, you are taking something that happens to most guys and making the assumption that it only happens to you because you are bigger.

Your size is your advantage, if it works against you, then compensate. This issue can almost certainly be fixed with altering your body language and dressing to appear friendlier and approachable.

Yes your size is a peacock(good calls attention), believe it or not women like guys big guys like you they call them booba, or something like that, they feel protected, women love security, i remember one time a model looking guy friend of mine i was trying to hook him up with the girl, she says she like big tall manly guys like you, change your look in the pua vh1 there was a big guy like you, he was one of the top 3... Follow the advise of zzz and poetic.. change your dress style and body language, i don't know about pink lol!

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I had gone through a phase where I had exactly this issue. I don't know how I stack up to you guys but I was doing bodybuilding (no drugs). I'm 6'2" and weighed 230 with a 6pack. It was cool, but I couldn't help feeling like I was slightly suffering a bit from having a bit more "meathead" confidence, rather than "authentic" confidence. What I personally did to get over my identity revolving around my "size"/"muscles" and to be more about "me" was to actually wear more long-sleeve, button up shirts (instead of the tight/muscle/designer tees). It felt a little weird the first time (since all the other times I had been out - I was always "the big guy") and occassionally, a little guy would look at me thinking he could beat me up lol (something I was not used to). But what it did was force me to rely on my personality/confidence/game rather than my "enormous biceps". (This alone got rid of the issue of females being intimidated by my size)
While I still enjoy bodybuilding, I joke with friends that I'm more "stealth" about it. I personally get a confidence boost knowing my body looks great, even if others don't really see it (except the chics that um...get to know me better lol). Also, when a situation arises: e.g. a buddy goes "yea my friend over there is really into fitness, he's got a 6-pack" and they "talk me into" showing it to them...then you can REALLY see people's eyes get big, and it looks like you aren't trying to impress them- you just happen to take good care of yourself. Especially since they haven't seen much of a hint (besides maybe a vague shape of your body through your clothes) Hope that helps. -A

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