Quote:
thanks poetic thats helped alot .with eye contact i practised a bit today on the amount of time i also read a bit on internet like it talks about how you should smile n such but it also said that you should not stare or make eye contact for more than 5-6 seconds at a time , how do you look away as not to be submissive if that makes any sense
also with the humour /teasing i read one of your other posts taalking about how tone and body language is key to humour that helped . what kind of tone should you be sounding like i think i understand the body lnguage ( freindly smiling etc) .
and read some books like you said can you recommend any ?
dude really thanks again ive still got a long way with this humour/teasing stuff but im getting there
Sorry it took so long. Things go busy the last few days.
You are not looking down just glance at something else for a moment, don't look down or move your head down. You can even turn your head to the right to show you are listening intently. You could look over at something and then look back. If you need you can just move your eyes to another part of their body and then look back to their eyes(I am suggesting arms or clothes not boobs or ass.) Just don't act as if you are looking away from them, just look at something different and then back. Don't let you avoid making contact so much as looking over at something. 5-6 seconds straight can seem long but the key is the break, but it isn't with a smile.
I think the conversation is the only thing that limits or expands the amount of eye contact, if your in a conversation with a girl in an intimate situation 5-6 seconds won't seem as long. If you are having a passionate conversation about anything you'll likely make stronger eye contact. If you are listening to someone talk about calculus and you are not interested it will seem very difficult to listen for 5-6 seconds.
Humor with body language is merely a disagreement with your words. You could be saying yes I will do something with your body language but say no aloud using words. Or vice versa. The point is to have contradictory body language to your verbal message. So it looks funny. "I hate you" with a huge smile is different then with an angry look. You will see this pop up through out a lot of comedies and stand ups.
I don't know any books, go on amazon look for a highly rated book. Then buy it or go to the book store and find it. Make sure to read some reviews if you go this route. There are some fake reviews put on for marketing purposes.
thanks you so much poetic the eye contact topic has helped me now i know a lot more about what is a stare and what is normal eye contact . before i would look into the persons eyes for ages at a time because that was what i saw as holding eye contact not i followed what you said and look at clothing for like a second maybe less then look back at eyes which all feels so much less awkward. and when listening to person i do the same with more eye contact . its the same with humour i understand alot more too still a bit tough but ill practise
thanks again poetic youve probaby heard this a thousand times but you are the man