I actually agree with Hunter_Foxe on this, especially because I've been in your exact situation. Definitely try to focus more on getting some lays, (i.e. escalating). If you need a basic roadmap check this out.

http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/10/17/a-step ... scalation/

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

I used to be normal, now I have to relearn. But not big on compliments, and I never seek them. My physicality is a lot better and I start kino right away, if they get close enough. My last kiss was a dance floor makeout about a week ago. I even kino in day game. I chicken out enough for ten guys, I know this, but these girls aren't nervous because they think I'll pussy out. I have my shit to work through, but I find opportunities hard to find where they don't chicken out before I do due to what I've been saying. I just want to get into set and kino like I know how, but these girls act like I'm going to fuck them right there! If they are nervous I get nervous, but if they are calm so am I. That's why them freaking out is a problem.

I need to start pulling, obviously. But the more confident I become personally and socially, the fewer chances I find to work on my sexual confidence. A few months ago HB9 just being DTF and me chickening out was the norm. Now the same class of girl looks so shy and anxious that it is actually unattractive and disapointing to see. I had planned to just push myself further and further, again and again, but this shit is a game changer. Instead of the cold approach, I'm coming in hot and attraction is already over the limit for the girl.

This is why this is such a fundamental problem for me... A catch 22, if you will. They expect that my sexual confidence would match the rest of my personality, so they are nervous and evasive. But I can't work on my sexual confidence if I can't get some of these chicks to cool down long enough for me to biuld my own comfort and actually go through with it a few times.

My plan to just get gradually more comfortable with sexual touching and talking seems like it's not going to work as it did with approaching and socializing in general. Because as I got more free and easy with kino and approaches and teasing and eye contact, all that confidence began to show. Now, instead of them thinking, "who's this cool guy?" They think, "wow! this guy is going to fuck me!" Which is good, generally, but not if I want to land dates and move at a pace that is realistic to where I am.

And thank you for this. It just made me realize something I can do a lot better. If girls are attracted to me, but spook if I get close, I should stand back and shout... Really. At a number of points in the night I could have and should have opened the group as a whole, "hi girls!" Or some variant. Big arm movements and loud enough to be heard in a loud bar.

I must have been acting like a shark trying to pick fish from a defensive school. When really, to continue to preditorial simile, I should have been like a whale gulping in to whole bunch. In hindsight that is obviously what they would have preferred.

You da man!

I have/had a similar issue. I approach and can instantly see they like me but are really nervous. Its like when you were a chode and a stunner would talk to you. You get super nervous and "don't know what to say." Solution, approach and reapproach.

When you approach just say "hi", smile a lot, compliment them, tell them they are pretty. Just let them know they can be comfortable around you. Then escalate.

Just takes practice.

Early on I stopped heaping compliments like I did when AFC. Thought it was "low value". But I imagine I should start doing it more again. I need to start qualifying more, yes? If these girls are meeting the same dudes I am when I go out, then they are clearly not used to encountering genuine alpha males socially. If they are thinking "omg he's talking to me!" Couldn't hurt to let them know why, right? And even if I'm nervous, I can still spin compliments. Might so me good too! Lol

Simple answer, sounds like you're not talking to the hotties. If you're the hottest guy in the bar, go after the hottest girls in the bar. If you're going after legit 9's and 10's you shouldnt have this problem. If you're not laying these girls from the bar, the IOI's, giggling, orbiting means nothing.Truth is, it could all be in your head or they're laughing at you. When you sleep with these girls, THEN you know you're conveying high value.

Useless comment. Just because you don't make 9s and 10s nervous, don't assume others don't. I can certainly tell the difference between giggling nervous girls and being laughed at. You only prove that you can get laid and still be a chump. Good for you.

Lol chill dude.

Look, dick in vag or some kinda close, is the only test for whether IOI's are real or not. Girls can giggle around you, smile at you and it doesn't mean shit. Only when you approach solidly and get a good response do you see if the IOI's were real. I hold this standard even for myself. If I see a girl giving me the fuck me eyes and I don't approach, I don't go home thinking she wanted to fuck me. And if I do approach and it goes nowhere, I don't walk away thinking I had her. Only if it leads somewhere do I think the IOI was real.

A 10 isn't going to get all flustered and shy around you. You guys make this stuff sound like it's jedi shit. Heck, even professional athletes at the bar don't make the legit 10's go silent. So chill, and look at results.

10s get nervous too. They are just regular girls in spectacular bodies. When they know you know that is when they get nervous just like any other girl.

When I say 10, I'm talking about a hot girl who knows she's hot and is confident. If you have slept with a few of these girls who appear nervous around you and flustered and they tell you "you were so intimidating" then I can see your theory holding water. But it does no good to have a theory that hasn't been confirmed.

It's not my theory, and I know what a nervous girl looks like. Plain as day. You don't believe me, irrelevant. I'm having a problem, look for advice, and the best you got is telling me to fuck them. No shit. Thanks. You're a true sage.

As I said earlier, the problem is high attraction with low rapport. Period. I've established by research and modifying my behaviour. If you are commenting just because it makes you feel good, fine, but I'm a dude crawling back from a life history the story of which would make most people cry. All this shit is very hard for me and your comments provide absolutely no positive contribution regarding very real and practical problem the likes of which you are clearly not familiar with. If you don't think I have two working eyes and a functioning brain, why are you commenting anyway?

Look dude, frankly I don't care about your hard life when you go about being a dick. I told you 2 things: go after the hottest girls (yeah, real negative view right) or what proof do you have that the IOI's are real.

This is why I don't mess with you RSD guys because you're brainwashed. Met a few of you in real life, who claim this same problem and it's NEVER been the case. True rejection is often seen as "I'm too high value for her and she ran because she is nervous" and girls giggling at you clowning you is seen as IOIs. Actually saw a RSD guy 3 weeks ago say a girl gave him a wrong number because she was so nervous. No....Everyone saw her trying to run from him. I get why you have to remain positive, but alot of it is downright delusional at the expense of fixing the things fucking you up. So my bad for telling you to either go for hotter girls (if they are true IOI's) or testing the IOIS by getting laid from them. If you think IOI's mean shit when you're not getting results from them then continue thinking like that. I'm not protecting my ego by re-framing a lack of results. I gave you a real perspective from a guy who's sick of seeing you RSD guys deluding yourselves thinking your lack of results is due to some god factor. And if you DO have it, then go after the girls on that level. As I said, all you had to say was "hey, I fucked a few girls who were initially intimidated and THEY TOLD ME that they were intimidated so I know this is my problem." and I would have taken that.

Anyways, you're not getting laid because you're too high value. Sadly it's a problem I don't have; I get laid.

Ok well you missed the point. I didn't say you should stand back and shout. You didn't say how you acted at all, you just said they ran away. It sounds like you just stood there and did nothing.

Anyway, re-reading some of your posts here, I think you are thinking way too hard about this. After so many approaches and failures, there should be a problem pattern. It should be obvious with all of your exp.
Well, I just started the RSD "blueprint" and the "too high value" video. I don't feel like I'm being brainwashed ... I've already found some good ideas in the RSD materials... At least Tyler is wise enough to realize everyone's goal should be becoming a natural, though this would happen anyway with so much exp.

So, what are you incorporating to reduce peoples "being approached anxiety?" RSD seems to be pretty adamant you must make your intentions clear up front and push sex sex sex (be it subliminally). Maybe you should tone that down and try being generally more interested in the people?

Like I said ealier, without many play-by-play pickup attempts, it's near impossible to help the problem.

Nah. You have the wrong diagnosis.

The problem is you cannot kino escalate and isolate girls yet for the f-close. Again, penis-in-the-vagina. You'll solve your problem once you've fixed your escalation anxiety. You're simply too scared yet of putting your cock inside a pussy. Conquer that fear and no more "I'm too high value" excuses.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

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