Quote:
There's a hot girl in my social circle that I've been flirting with for a while. We only see each other at group events, and when we do talk to each other one on one, our friends are always around. I have been able to touch her on her arms, neck, stomach and back. She never objects when I touch her. She doesn't engage when I talk about sexual topics, but she doesn't reject them either. When I give her hugs, she hugs back in a weak way, like a half-assed hug. We've built deep rapport by talking about lots of topics, and we connect on a logical level.
In this situation, I think that overtly conveying interest in the target would be the best course of action. Here are a couple of lines that I have been considering, in order from least to most direct:
1. "Let's go out for drinks after work, to celebrate X!" (X being some event)
2. Use humor to generate attraction, qualify her with a compliment, and then try to kiss her.
3. "You intrigue me, and you seem pretty cool, I'd like to take you to a concert this weekend."
Usually you shouldn't go so direct or engage a girl's logical mind, but this girl is different, because we've already connected on a logical level. If I try to do something gamey or gimmicky, she will know I'm trying to pull one over on her/ trick her. She will respect the approach more if I allow her to make the logical decision about whether she's down or not.
Rejection isn't a big deal, I'm in this to win it. Playing to not get rejected is a losing game.
My friend, you are so far off the court you're playing a different sport.
What the shit is all of this? Not engaging her logically? Here are some lines I've been considering?
Pull yourself together brother.
There is no friendzone!
I see this shit all the time! Guys complaining left and right that women friendzone them, as if it's like this horrible accident that happened. If only they knew... If only they knew that no women in her right mind ever looks at a man and thinks "Hmmm he would be a GREAT friend!"
Notice the use of words here? No woman ever looks on a
man, not a guy, not a bro, not a boy and NOT a pua. A man. The rugged strength of character, with unshakable values, completely unafraid, fully present, fully matured and on a mission larger than himself.
You've friendzoned yourself
We all have at some point or another. We do so by hiding our desires. We think we are sly by coming in under the radar. "I'm not asking her out on a date, I'm asking her to 'chill' and 'hang out'". We look at her and all we want to do is say "my god I can't take my eyes off you!" but then we think "oh no, that would be too much, she wouldn't like that". I can go on for hours but what's the point? You've friendzoned yourself.
"Master, you must help. My mind needs to be fixed!"
"Alright, show me this mind you speak of"
"I can't. I can't find it!"
"There! I've fixed it for you" - Zen proverb
There is no friendzone
Stop trying to focus on leaving the friendzone you've built for yourself. The moment you realize that there is no friendzone, you're already free. There's nothing to escape from. Nothing to claw your way out of.
Truth is she likes you. They all like you. That's the great secret... All women like you! They are rooting for you! They are thinking "please.. PLEASE not another lose. Please make this one cool!"
You need to like yourself. You need to believe in yourself. She wants you to like yourself. She needs you to believe in yourself.
With love and respect
Mack
CHAT
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