| Hi guys, just wanted to share my first "natural" daygame approach and I'm open to any comments for discussion or to help improve my game in the future. I've been reading up on PUA for a few months now but mostly been club gaming. I've never had the courage to approach someone out of the club, until today.
I live in Singapore and was at a McDonald's chilling with two of my guy friends when I spotted a rather good looking girl. She was studying alone at a table maybe 30 metres away and a couple of times, looked my way, to which I quickly looked away. They kept pressuring me to approach her (we're all into this PUA thing) and after about 1.5 hours of hesitation, I finally plucked up my courage to walk up to her.
I found motivation in the fact that I knew I would sorely regret it if I went home without talking to her. It has happened quite a few times that I had massive AA followed by a huge ton of regret, and I knew that the feeling of getting blown out was way better than the regret. When you get blown out, at least you know that you failed. But the act of not trying, only makes you wonder WHAT IF. And the thoughts of WHAT IF are always the worst, aren't they. Secondly, I was the one who introduced them PUA in the first place (one of them has already done a couple of approaches and number-closes + day 2s). It wouldn't be right if I backed out. Thirdly, the saying goes, he who hesitates, masturbates.
So I walked up to her table and muttered "Hey", while attempting to take a seat directly in front of her. She looked up with a WTF who are you kind of expression, so I said, "Hi, can I join you for a while?" and now that I got her attention, looked her in the eyes and quickly added "I was noticing you from just now and I thought you looked really nice, so I just wanted to say hi (end with a smile)". Up close, she was at least a firm HB7.5. Girls with nice eyes really get me. Then I asked what she was studying and we fluffed a little, during which I found out she was 21 and she guessed that I was 20, which was correct. The fact that she was older did hinder my confidence significantly. The next blow was when I found out we were actually from the same college. It did help that we now had something in common to bond over, but problem was I was afraid of things getting awkward (connected social circle), especially since I basically did a cold approach on her. These 2 things took away plenty of my confidence and I felt like it was over. Nonetheless, we continued fluffing. The situation was such that all the surroundings were blurred out and I was solely focused on the interaction. It took a huge amount of mental energy and I found myself asking some rather Captain Obvious questions just to keep the conversation going and prevent awkward silences. Finally at the end, in my attempt to close, I said, "So I was thinking, would you like to go out some time?" Her reply to that was, "I'm sorry but I don't think I can, because I'm really busy with my work and all". I used the ejection line "Oh okay, it was nice to meet you (smile)." and just as I was about to take my leave, asked for her name and in return she asked for mine.
Learning points:
Overall, despite it ultimately being a rejection, I felt it was a good experience. We had quite a long conversation, despite it being mostly fluff. At least I know what I can improve on now. It also shatters the limiting belief that girls tend to rudely blow you out and outrightly reject you if you approach, having had this positive first experience. I would say we had a friendly conversation, but I probably should have added some humor and banter (not that I was able to think of any during then). I also learnt that it was not as bad as I had thought after approaching. A lot of worries were unfounded, as I found myself being able to hold good eye contact and smile, and I barely stuttered, which was something I thought would happen.
Something I regret is not being persistent and push one step further after the rejection, which was to say, "how about I give you my number and maybe we can hang out when you're more free?" OR anything along the lines to try to convince/persuade her. The major issue is that I felt I wasn't worthy after finding out about her age. And I possibly lacked some confidence from the start. Perhaps the mindset that I want to approach her and I don't care if she blows me out (detach from emotions) did work against me, seeing the way I let go of her so easily at the end.
Something to remember if you hesitate:
The worst feeling is to not approach, and hence regret.
The second worst feeling is to get blown out/rejected.
The best feeling is to close.
Now I'm wondering, should I Facebook-message her? Or would that be too creepy? If she asked how I found her on Facebook, I could reply, "Well, I asked for your name for a reason." And in my FB-message I would probably say something like, "I was thinking about what you said, and maybe we could hang out when you're more free."
I don't know how such persistence would turn out. I think it could really work both ways (?)
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CHAT