1. Introduction
2. Back story
3. Data
4. My motivation
5. My restrictions
6. My goals
7. My progress
8. Additional remarks
I'm trying to keep this as short as possible. The motivation for writing this is mainly egotistical, but if it helps just one person who reads this it's worth the trouble of posting this online, in my opinion.


1. Introduction
I'm Quiche, 21yo, and I'm addicted to porn.

2. Back story
I've been living a fairly happy life up until a few years ago when my mother passed away. Since that I've experienced depression and failure, which were both things I was actually quite unfamiliar with, luckily. It also meant that recovery from this involved quite a lot of new things that I was unwilling to experience due to said depression. I've been addicted to online video games and I generally have the tendency of going for things when I set my mind to it, which I guess is a good quality in most things, but does make me prone to addiction.

3. Data
This post, taken from the "NO FAP Thread", first got me thinking: Watch the vid. Watch it twice. You can probably stop reading once you've seen the video if you're not interested in any more personal bullshit that I feel I need to write down.
The guy in this video is host of a website as well called http://www.yourbrainonporn.com . I am in no way affiliated with this man!

In short, what the video will tell you is that porn addiction can manifest in depression and erectile dysfunction. I am not sure if the first one has manifested in me, as the main reason for my depression was not an addiction to porn, but more likely caused it. Sadly, I have experienced the second.

4. My motivation
I no longer want to be a type of person that needs 12 tabs of porn to keep my willy going, nor do I want to be a person that gets nothing done all day and procrastinates until a point that my goals in life suffer under it. I feel quitting porn will help aid this.

5. My restrictions
1. I am no longer allowed to watch any form of hardcore porn.
2. I am no longer allowed to watch any form of softcore porn.
2.1. This includes any picture which shows (partial) nudity and/or has the capability to arouse me.
2.2. This does not include Facebook friends.
3. I am no longer allowed to masturbate to when I am on my PC, laptop or any other electronic device.
4. If I chose to masturbate I will restrain myself from thinking about porn stars.

6. My goals
1. Zero porn as described above for 6 months.
1.1. Date of this goal is 24/9/13
2. Be somewhere in life where I will not want to return to watching porn

7. My progress
Day 1:
Had a normal day. Was alone in my room from 10 till I went to bed and had a hard time not watching porn, but managed.

Day 2:
Had a normal day. Did some sports, did not notice any change in this area just yet. Did not notice any change in interpersonal interactions.

Day 3:
Had to do loads of work for uni. Tired once I was done at around 5pm. Went sporting, did not notice any real change. Was so tired I didn't even think about porn after.

Day 4:
Was done at 11am with uni. Decided to stay at the uni to do some studying for the upcoming tests. Highly unusual behavior for me. I never really decide to stay at the uni to study by myself. People around me seem nicer, somehow warmer to me. I feel like people are noticing that I'm feeling better. Reflecting back at this day I think I'm also starting to naturally behave more alpha in groups of people and towards women. Noticed during my sports activity that I was extremely sharp. I seem to start noticing women around me more and more as well. I even had some sort of day dream where I was getting blown by a cute girl who was sitting a few meters away. Unusual.

Day 5:
Went to an event with lots of people. People seem to notice me more. I don't really overthink everything as much as I normally do and instead just do them. I was overall very happy.

Day 6 and onwards:
To be experienced and written

8. Additional remarks
8.1. Obvious questions / doubts
Q. Aren't you jumping the gun here, thinking that just 5 days in you can actually notice any difference?
A. Definitely. I realize that there are so many factors to be taken into consideration that whatever I feel can not solely be influenced by my porn addiction nor me trying to quit it.

Q. How do you know the difference in state is due to no porn rather than no fap?
A. I've tried no fap as well. However, I continuously "edged" to porn, which I somehow justified to myself as I didn't really 'come', so I didn't really 'masturbate'. Even though this helped some bit, I usually got frustrated more than I felt actually better.

Q. Why should I believe you? Do you have a PhD in Psychology or any other education that supports you in this?
A. No. I have no background in psychology nor can I give you any good reason to believe me. It's a choice you can make. What I can tell you is that I'm very intelligent and I am always and will always be looking to be me, but better.

8.2. Thoughts
Reader's advice: Everything I say here are uncensored thoughts and are by definition not necessarily true. If I have some sort of proof I will state it, if I don't consider it unproven.

I feel like if this recovery from my porn addiction continues in the way it does it is actually by far the best game changer that I've taken away from my search for a better life with women. I feel like I'm portraying a lot more alpha male qualities without even thinking about it. I seem to be more spontaneous in conversation, sports and mind.

I've used a NLP technique called "The Cyber-Porn Addiction Removal Pattern" from the book "The Big Book of NLP Techniques" by Shlomo Vaknin.
I've used a NLP technique called "Circle of Excellence" from the book "The Big Book of NLP Techniques" by Shlomo Vaknin.

There's a few books that helped me understand pick-up, but also life around this. I think "The Game - Neil Strauss" is a must-read. There's a few other books / pdfs that helped me develop in the inter human interactions, such as "Emotions Revealed - Paul Ekman", "Social Engineering; The art of Human Hacking - Christopher Hadnagy", but also "The Art of War - Sun Tzu". Highly recommend reading these if you have the time.

I think cyber-porn addiction is an addiction that isn't well-known yet. Given that we're the first generation to actually grow up with cyber-porn, I think the influence it can have on a young boy's (or girl's, but usually less likely) mind is highly understated. I feel among peers (mainly between boys) the watching of porn is never discouraged or frowned upon as smoking or drugs is nowadays. I've never heard anyone say "Don't do porn, kids!" I guess the first step is recognizing the problem, and I never really realized I had a problem until I watched that TEDx video. I would wake up in the morning and look at some hot pics, come home after uni and look at some porn before going to a party and watch some porn and masturbate when I came back home slightly drunk. But it never really occurred to me that this is unusual behavior. Perhaps because it's not unusual at all, but it seems, from what I've read and only shortly so far have experienced, that it is unhealthy.

Porn doesn't actually teach you anything about sex either. You can see the position and the motions, but it's nothing like the real thing. Nothing, for the young readers out there. Your time is better spent on improving your life and striking out with girls (yes, failure is scary and humiliating, but only if you allow it to be). I guess it's important to realize that you're the only one who can have a real influence on your own mind. Nobody thinks about other people more than themselves, hence nobody thinks about you as much as you. In the end your ego is in the way of what you are trying to accomplish. Don't worry about what your friends think of you. I once read a quote that I forgot that was something along the lines of "Those who care, don't matter and those who matter don't care". If your friends judges you for trying and striking out with a girl, fuck them. Who cares? At least you had the balls to go there while all they did is safely judge you from there circle fuck safe spot in the back of the room.

In that case, life is more about failure than it is about success. You learn so much more from the first. This is why at first you try something you improve so much. Partially because there is so much to learn, but also because you will probably fail and learn at pretty much every aspect. This is also why top athletes seek to train with people who are as good as them or better, so they can fail and learn from these people. I guess most 'natural winners' in life have this instinct branded into them. Almost every person who 'became good' at anything, will have faced at some point in his life before this moment major failures. What defines them is not who they are, but how they've come there and why they got there.

Tips to help:
1: Block yourself from porn sites. No really, block it! This will remind you why you wanted to stop in the first place.
2: If you really have the desire to fap, use your imagenation, and blow that jizz out on the hot girl from your school, work or whatever.
3: Rule for #2; fantasize ONLY on girls you HAVEN"T seen naked yet!

Wallie

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The Learning Journal:
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Challenge Accepted!

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KCCO

How weird. You've got waaayyyy too much free time. Get out and find women, fill your life with adventure, you'll probably stop watching porn. Sounds like an AFC.

What does this have to do with natural game?

Since I've quit porn two weeks ago my "game" has improved by millions. I'm happy to tell you that I lead an active and fulfilling life, yet in some abundance of female companionship. I don't see why you come in here and bash me on things you could not possibly know, while I'm just trying to write down for myself what I want and how I want it, which I found is something that helps me when I want to achieve something and decided to share it here because if it helps one guy get a better life it was worth my trouble of copy-pasting it and editing it to be properly readable for other people.

Also, if you've watched the video I recommended you watch in my first post, you'll know that a cyber porn addiction can cause social anxiety, which will prevent or at least stagger your progress in "going out and finding women, filling your life with adventure".

And why are you throwing around big-boy words like AFC? Why are you trying to bring me down?

Hmm. Let me see. Maybe to make myself feel superior because of my abnormally low self image? Or, maybe my own lack of a social life? Or, maybe my desire to hurt others because of the anger I have towards my cat?

No, but seriously. Don't be so sensitive. I wasn't slamming you (trust me, there are much harsher "slams" on this forum). I said probably and you do seem a bit frustrated by all of this, hence the AFC. Maybe it's just me, but I find it a bit peculiar to put a post about stopping porn on a PUA forum. Why not on a sex addict forum? It really doesn't have much to do with pick up, obviously you felt it was relavant enough to post and I am not obligated to read it, so more power to you.

Anyway, I think in 10 years this will be a non-issue. Probably your just a guy with a normal sex drive and porn helped you out when you didn't have access to a female. I had periods like that as well. Maybe just be okay with yourself and your "addiction". Look how hard you are on yourself? Of course, you're depressed. Maybe you just need to learn to grieve your mother's death and your other failures. You are looking at your porn "addiction" as if it were a failure and trying not fail with it by working hard and beating it, unlike your mother's death or these other things. Maybe I'm way off and I obviously don't know you, but it's what I sense from your posts.

Be kind with yourself. Try and watch your behaviour and understand what it means. Work on having more self love and my guess is that you'll find that balance you are seeking.

I'm not ever going to be OK with something that I feel influences my life in a negative way. I do have a normal sex drive I believe, but it was always satisfied with the amount of porn that I watched. I know this is not the optimal place for a post like this, but I'm not looking for help, I can do this on my own. As I said before, I'm doing this mainly to satisfy my own desire to have this properly written down for myself and in a way I hope that it helps somebody else, 'cause some other poster got me to watch the video that got me up to all this and thus helped me out.

Point is I wouldn't say I'm still depressed. I agree with you to some point that I might be using this addiction as a scapegoat for all the other failures that I have, but in realizing that it also means I'm aware of what I'm doing and it does not take away that so far quitting porn has been the best thing I've done in a while. I have more confidence, I no longer overthink everything I do and I am way more productive (might be an effect of the no masturbation thing I'm doing as well). I'm not saying porn is bad perse, like weed or alcohol is not bad perse, but if you are/were addicted to it like me I do genuinely believe it is better to knock it completely.

I'm always going to be hard on myself, that is just who I am and who I want to be.

Good job man ! stay committed and persist !