I live in a student complex and there is a lot of student housing around here but one house in particular has caught my attention. It's a house full of 4 nursing students and I always go to the bars and hang out with them.

The one girl in particular I've been trying to get with for a relationship. We watch movies together, go to the bars together, I've made her dinner before and even got her a wicked present for her birthday (which is today).

The problem I'm having though is she has a "boyfriend". I say that in quotations because she always tells me that he's not her boyfriend. One of my buddies wanted to hook up with one of them and she told him "technically we are all single" then she started talking about how her roommate is sleeping with a guy but they aren't dating.

But every time I'm out with them and Matt (the "boyfriend") comes with us they are always flirting and kissing but she still has time to flirt with me.

She's not a slut, I know that already, and its really confusing to be spending all this time with her and have her turn around and give all her attention to this guy.

All I'm wondering is:
What's going on, in your opinion
How do I play this?
Is there any way I can get her?

Any suggestions are openly accepted. Positive or negative
Thanks guys

What's going on is that you are her friend, and that Matt is her lover. You can take a chance and try to escalate when you guys alone with her sometime. She will probably formally friendzone you (give you the 'let's just be friends' speech), but who knows right? If you are formally friendzoned, stop caring about her and move on to different girls (preferably not her friends). You can still go out them, that's actually a pretty good place to start.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

There are a couple things I recommend:

Build Sexual Tension to an unbearable level

Friend zone her (Only works if she didn't do it to you already)

This sounds really weird but instead of allowing her to put you in the friend zone, you tell her:

"I am glad we are friends."

"It's good to have female friends like you."

All the other friends lines where you consciously put her in the friend zone. This only works because you don't let her choose what you guys are.

Then all you do is continue to play the attractive guy, go hang out with other women, your actions and behaviors should show you are a hot and available mate but not to her. It's kind of playing take away, she is just a friend and while other girls are sleeping with you.

Warning: Friend Zoning a woman is a difficult maneuver and it only really works if you aren't already friend zoned by her already. So if she already considers you "just friends" you should not use this.

Thoughts on your actions:

You went AFC. You bought her a nice present for her birthday, WHY? She isn't your girlfriend. You can't buy a woman's affection (unless she is a gold digger, never met a nurse that was a gold digger), if she was attracted to you before nothing changed from "a wicked present".

It's not about just building a connection. That is no big deal, we build that with 1000s of people through out our life, so what if you built a connection with her. All you have with this women is a connection.

You mention slut like every woman isn't sexual. She is fucking that guy because she needs to get laid. I don't feel any woman is "slutty", I don't care how many men she has slept with. It's not a bad thing for a woman to be comfortable sexuality, it's bad when she is uncomfortable with it. She wants to get laid and she is "single" so what is your problem? Go fuck her, she obviously wants sex.

Note: In my experience aspiring nurses avoid relationships a lot because of their commitment to their goal, becoming a nurse. This isn't every woman, she may just enjoy "what they have." Without witnessing it I can't tell you what she is thinking.

You care too much, you care more than her and because of this she owns all the power in the interaction (The person who cares the least owns the interaction). This is why I thought about using the concept of friend zoning her because it gives you the power in the relationship.

If she keeps telling you he isn't her boyfriend it's likely because she doesn't want him to be (it sounds like a disqualification) but I could be very wrong on this.

Have you read her body language?

Is she sexually attracted to you?
^^^ These are friend activities if you haven't hooked up yet, so you may be too late. Girlfriends do this stuff together all the time. If you are watching movies together and you haven't tried to fuck her it's your bad. I did this earlier this year with a fly dame I was stuck on, if I would have made a move things would have worked out. This is likely the case for you, you probably became to much like a friend and unless you build sexual tension so there is that between you guys you are likely dealing with a friendship only.

Getting into a relationship isn't my specialty but you can't get in a relationship if she doesn't want to fuck you, this is an important element to every relationship. Every relationship that goes sour starts with sex stopping. So I'm re-emphasizing the importance of sexual tension.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Thanks everyone for your advice. I've taken it all to heart and really thought how eager I was to get into something with this girl.

I completely understand, now that I have looked back on what I've done to/for her, that I did go fill-fledged AFC on her. Do you guys have any tips on how to avoid that? Because its happened to me many times before.

Since I posted this, I've continued hanging our with her and her roommates but nothing extravagant. No dinners, no movies alone and I have tried raising sexual tension as informed and nothing happened. So, I'm still friends but I'm not looking for a relationship anymore.

Thank you everyone for your advice.

Hope this is not too late but here it is...

I think you are attracted to that girl but, yeah, not really wanting a relationship with her.

If so, just continue hanging out with her and her friends- no danger in that. No conflict as I may say.

If you still want to try and single her out for a chance with her, do so too. Who knows, it might escalate into something exciting!

But non the less, go out with other girls that are FREE to hook with you. That will mean, less stress and more fun times!

Next time you are hanging with this girl, text your buddy and tell him to call you and hang up when you answer.

Now put on your acting shoes. When the phone rings, answer and pretend to carry on a dialogue with some other girl. Don't say her name, don't make it too obvious. But have a very flirtacious tone in your voice. Giggle, make reference to some seemingly inside joke, and sound playful, even sexual. Say things like "I bet you'd like that!" Then be like "Hey, I'm with one of my friends, I'll call you later tonite."

There's about a 99% chance the girl you are with will be like "Who was that?!?" Then you just casually tell her, "My friend Stacy." Then just leave it at that and let it simmer. If the girl asks more about her tell her you are just friends and down play the obvious fact that it sounded like you were talking to a fuck buddy. This will drive her crazy and make her want you more.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I do like the jealousy plotline it will definitely spark some interest, just ensure you know exactly what you're going with this and what you’re going to say, but just be prepared for an unexpected sh*t test.

A shit test will likely happen but at least you will now stand a chance with her.

GO for it my man and let us know how it turned out.

I ran into a similar situation when I was in college. There was a slight tweak but the theory is the same.

There was a girl I'd known for years and we'd always been friends with a lot of sexual tension. I was hoping for a relationship and while we'd talk all night and kiss here and there (I think maybe three or four times all together) she was just never "ready". Then a new guy would come along, sweep her off her feet and I'd be all like dafuq??

Anyway, we were finally both single - really single - not sleeping with someone without labels. I noticed the pattern happening again- she'd blow me off pretty often, ect. Here's what I did to correct it:

1. I completely stopped texting and calling her.
result: we went from texting every day to not texting for two weeks straight.

2. When she finally did text with some crap like "hey stranger it's been a while" I let her know that I had been really busy with work, school and friends and I hadn't even noticed it had been that long. Not cocky, just matter of fact.
result: She asked me to hang out rather than vice versa.

3. She asked to hang out the next day. I told her that I was busy but I'd be available two days after that.
I think this was one of the most important parts - I started establishing myself as the one who needed working around rather than her.

4. When we did finally hang out we did our usual thing and she'd try to flirt with me. I shut her down every single time. Not in a harsh way, but I'd just roll over her advances for attention as if they never happened. I also let her know that I had met a nice girl about a week before and I was stoked about our date in a week.
result: more aggressive advances.

5. I made sure that while I wasn't flirting I was touching her a lot. We went for a walk and I'd grab her by the waist if she got close to the edge. I read her palm, ect.
result: She started giving me doe eyes. This is something that while we had flirted and made out a few times, I had never seen before from her.

6. I made sure to seal that fucking deal the same night. No hesitation, no "would you like to get in the back seat?". I picked her up, put her in the back seat and took the role of the man, not the friend. I'm sure if I wouldn't have acted on it we wouldn't have dated afterwards.

Anyway, it might be a little tougher since she has a "boyfriend". But I feel the theory is the same. You need to let her know that while she's with this guy, you're unavailable. She's not allowed to flirt with you. You're not a silver medal.

That being said, if the opportunity arrises, follow steps 5 & 6

Hope this helps, i've always found that real experiences seem to be relatable.

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Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls.