Help on interpreting IoI



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 Post subject: Help on interpreting IoI
PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 9:31 pm 
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I am new to this PUA and I am trying to understand some key concepts. In this case it is about what you refer as IoI (Indicators of Interest).
Some of the IoI I read in the posts are pretty easy to figure out e.g. "If girl asks your name" but I am interested in ambiguous behavior.
I will give an example:
I like a girl but have not tried some direct approach as I see her everyday and try to play cool (we are in the same social circle) but I believe she has noticed me checking her out.
Anyway the other day I was with people talking and see her came out of the building (we were outside smoking and talking), I assumed for a smoke, she saw me, she smilled and say hi from a distance (arround 3-4 meters) and looked the other way.
I thought to myself: Great, I managed to run into her, I would ditch these guys in a couple of minutes and go talk to her.
But she stayed for arround 15 seconds and immediatelly went in.
How could I interpret that. My first thought was that perhaps she thought that I would go talk to her and she wanted to avoid that (perhaps she does not find me attractive).
But are there any other possible cases? E.g. is there any IoI here? Is it a negative sign.
I tend to not give high value in the wave she send me as it could be due to the fact we are in the same social circle and she is just trying to "typically" be polite.
Could any of the masters here help me clear this up and understand the concept of IoI better from this real life example?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 6:39 pm 
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I'm no master, but I can tell you a few things about this. Look at ioi's as one of three things:

Green light-- Strong indicator of interest
Yellow light--Unclear indicator of interest
Red light--indicator of disinterest


As long as you are getting some type of INTEREST, then proceed accordingly. If it's a yellow light and you are getting mixed signals, proceed, but proceed cautiously. If it's a DISinterest then there's no point in proceeding.

Sometimes girls give mixed signals or hide their feelings or suck at displaying the appropriate reaction. That's why you don't need to be an expert on every little nuance when it comes to ioi's and iod's. You just need to know if you should proceed or withdraw. A lot of guys want a sure fire way to interpret the girls interest level, that way they can proceed without the fear of rejection. But unless you are given strong ioi's, then you'll have to just assume that the thing you think might be an ioi actualy IS an ioi. If you are wrong, no big deal. It's no different than being blown out at the beginning of a set once you open a girl. Rejection always stings, but don't let the fear of rejection keep you from acting on an ioi that you wrote off as an iod.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 9:06 pm 
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first of all. puaninja you make 12 posts day, I hope you are out approaching every weekend. you need too, to truly understand the advice you give. I'm skeptical on your abilities. If this bothers you then my point is proven. Alpha males don't lose their cool. If you want to talk about this further all I have is good advice.

Not a Player. Why should she be into you?
If you cant answer that question vs your friends then there is no way.

And from what you have described to me you have no chance. She is part of your friend group and she didn't even come over to talk to you. she left the option for you to go and talk to her and you didn't. After a while she felt awkward and went inside to go find value because none was present outside.

my advice. find some local guys with the same ideas as you and go out. lose your friend group they arent the greatest thing for you at the moment.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:05 pm 
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Bodymixture, are you an alias?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:33 pm 
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Quote:
first of all. puaninja you make 12 posts day, I hope you are out approaching every weekend. you need too, to truly understand the advice you give. I'm skeptical on your abilities. If this bothers you then my point is proven. Alpha males don't lose their cool. If you want to talk about this further all I have is good advice.
I don't sarge every weekend. Lately I've been too busy getting laid to bother going out sarging. A lion only hunts when he's hungry after all.

You say you're skeptical of my abilities, yet I've not attempted to describe anything I'm actually doing, at least not in this thread. And those things I've stated in other threads regarding personal accomplishments are in fact true--not that I've bragged to any great extent or anything.

All I've done here is regurgitate pick up knowledge that comes directly from Style, a well respected pick up artist. There's really no reason to call me out or question my abilities, particularly without pointing out something specific that I've said that you feel doesn't hold water. It doesn't matter if that was just a troll/shit test either because I don't need to prove that I'm alpha. I'm simply here to share and receive knowledge and contribute to the forum.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 11:55 pm 
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Quote:
first of all. puaninja you make 12 posts day, I hope you are out approaching every weekend. you need too, to truly understand the advice you give. I'm skeptical on your abilities. If this bothers you then my point is proven. Alpha males don't lose their cool. If you want to talk about this further all I have is good advice.

Not a Player. Why should she be into you?
If you cant answer that question vs your friends then there is no way.

And from what you have described to me you have no chance. She is part of your friend group and she didn't even come over to talk to you. she left the option for you to go and talk to her and you didn't. After a while she felt awkward and went inside to go find value because none was present outside.

my advice. find some local guys with the same ideas as you and go out. lose your friend group they arent the greatest thing for you at the moment.
If he doesn't pull what he claims to pull and it bothers you so much, I'd look in the mirror before I started pointing the beta finger. He gave sound advice that was on topic, while you spread unsubstantiated doubts about peoples legitimacy.
Then you go on to tell this guy that his friends aren't good for him, leave them behind? You don't know the guy's friends. He didn't even describe them.
People abandoning their old lives to pursue pick up is a damaging thing to do.
Use pick up to enhance your life, not to find one.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:21 am 
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In this case the signs could have meant ANYTHING, you haven't given me or anyone here enough to do much. All you have done is show low self-confidence ( ;) start working on this immediately for yourself you'll enjoy yourself so much more). You need to stop thinking of what she is doing and actually witness what she is showing you. She did stick around for 15 seconds, all you had to do is get a conversation going. Sticking around for 15 seconds is actually a long time by yourself and she could have been sending you what is sometimes referred to as a sexual overture. Look at proxemics and her foot work especially where was her foot pointing? It normally points at the most interesting thing/person.

IOIs are a horrible way to read a woman's attraction, body language must have all of the signs go through the body language guidelines before drawing a conclusion. One type of woman may give small signs of interest purely based off of personality, it is up to you to read all of her body language not just a couple of signs and say oh she is interested. You must read and react, you must be the properly responsive man, not create a stop light system. You can tell a genuine attraction if you just learn the basics of reading attraction, and then you learn to gauge how strong an attraction is.

Learn to read body language, that is "the key to natural game is body language", reading body language, there is a thread on this page I authored you can read it if you'd like.

I also have a video series in my sig (Does She Like Me? Show - www.doesshelikemeshow.com) I need to upload more videos but I have a bunch of videos on reading body language attraction ques, it starts with body language guidelines which is key because so many people miss the truth about IOIs which is that some signals aren't always positive. It has some example clips and pics, hopefully that helps I poured a lot of work into it.

If you need more ask away I just think that should be plenty for you.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:42 pm 
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First of all thank you for all trying to help.
But I find the answers contradictory (no offense intented).
Example:
From Bodymixture:
Quote:
And from what you have described to me you have no chance. She is part of your friend group and she didn't even come over to talk to you. she left the option for you to go and talk to her and you didn't. After a while she felt awkward and went inside to go find value because none was present outside
This says that I don't have a chance which is obvious as she did not come talk to me and also that she left me the option to talk to her butI messed up. Which is it? Can't be both.

From Vic (poeticlyskuac):
Quote:
She did stick around for 15 seconds, all you had to do is get a conversation going. Sticking around for 15 seconds is actually a long time by yourself and she could have been sending you what is sometimes referred to as a sexual overture
I was planning to but I was talking to other people. I thought that it would be rude to stop the conversation just to go talk to someone else (even her). If the other people were my buddies I would do it, but they were not.I never said I was talking to friends. If it matters it was people I work with/for.
I was ready to talk to her the first minute I could politely disengage the conversation. But I found it weird that she left after 15 seconds. I don't think that she came out just for so little time. I thought that either she wants to avoid me and went in (so Vic's comment on confidence could apply here) or there is some kind of meaning.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:01 am 
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Quote:
First of all thank you for all trying to help.
But I find the answers contradictory (no offense intented).
Example:
From Bodymixture:
Quote:
And from what you have described to me you have no chance. She is part of your friend group and she didn't even come over to talk to you. she left the option for you to go and talk to her and you didn't. After a while she felt awkward and went inside to go find value because none was present outside
This says that I don't have a chance which is obvious as she did not come talk to me and also that she left me the option to talk to her butI messed up. Which is it? Can't be both.

From Vic (poeticlyskuac):
Quote:
She did stick around for 15 seconds, all you had to do is get a conversation going. Sticking around for 15 seconds is actually a long time by yourself and she could have been sending you what is sometimes referred to as a sexual overture
I was planning to but I was talking to other people. I thought that it would be rude to stop the conversation just to go talk to someone else (even her). If the other people were my buddies I would do it, but they were not.I never said I was talking to friends. If it matters it was people I work with/for.
I was ready to talk to her the first minute I could politely disengage the conversation. But I found it weird that she left after 15 seconds. I don't think that she came out just for so little time. I thought that either she wants to avoid me and went in (so Vic's comment on confidence could apply here) or there is some kind of meaning.

In this situation all you have to do is say "hey, no need to be an outcast, come over and hang with the group." It's never a big deal, you don't have to start off with an isolation just get her comfortable interacting then isolate, etc. We always do things for reasons, yes it could be positive that she came out and waved to you or it could be negative, with the amount of info regarding the situation I can't tell you anything about what it means.

Go work on your confidence bro, find a good confidence book, it will help you SO MUCH, if you'd like I can recommend one.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:57 pm 
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Hi,
Thanks for your reply. I was not curious about the wave. I was curious on the fact that she left almost as soon as she saw me. I was wondering if this is some IoI (or IoD)
As for the book, sure please do. But please tell me why you recommend this specific book you are thinking.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 12:40 am 
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Quote:
Hi,
Thanks for your reply. I was not curious about the wave. I was curious on the fact that she left almost as soon as she saw me. I was wondering if this is some IoI (or IoD)
As for the book, sure please do. But please tell me why you recommend this specific book you are thinking.
The only reason I said the wave is you could have waved her over, her only being there a short period of time can be a sign of discomfort with attraction as well. It really all depends. You can't just go off one signal to define attraction it will never happen.

It depends on what you want I love the Unlimited Power(I like this one a lot) and Awaken the Giant Within by Robbins, but I mean Get off Your Butt by Stephenson(great book and story), then you got 59 Seconds by Wisemen(all based on science one of my favorites), A New Earth by Tolle, they all offer something a little different.

I don't know exactly where you are for self-confidence, each one is pretty good and really it all depends on where you are and what you are after.

I hope that is good sorry didn't realize you said yes....

Peace and Love,

Vic

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 4:56 pm 
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This could be interpreted as a friendly greeting, or a subtle IOI that invites an opening on your behalf, but without any of us being actually there to properly assess the situation in it's entire light, a judgement call is tough.

The bright news is this is hardly an issue that requires a myriad of posts to decipher. You have more than enough of a base to work with, go open the girl when you see her next, and look for further IOIs. As for being indirect? Can more often than not be a waste of time, and the possibility ever present that one day you will see her roaming those halls with a man in tow. Be a man, open the girl, display confidence. If you are bone dry for openers, inquiring into her saying hello will do, pretend you don't know her name and use it as a springboard.

Most importantly, be direct, chase what you want. The situation described is sketchy to determine whether it was a true IOI or not. Go in deep for a closer inspection, and assess where you stand concerning her interest.

-SilverTonguedFox


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