San Antonio "Project Mayhem 210" Danny and phone # saved me 02Oct12
Lately I've been hard to reach I've been too long on my own Everybody has their private world Where they can be alone, Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me? I'm reaching out for you, I'm just so fucking depressed I just can't seem to get out this slump If I could just get over this hump, But I need something to pull me out this dump, I took my bruises, took my lumps Fell down and I got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up and in order for me to pick this life back up, I don't know how or why or when I ended up this position I'm in I'm starting to feel dissin' again So I decided just to pick this pen.
I can only describe this as the Beginning "Dark Night Rises" Like Bale"Bruce Wayne" Ive went into seclusion injured physically injured and mentally exhausted. That fateful night up at Sushi Time were I trusted my shipmates to take care of me, we had VIP and I had a "DD". Forgetting my PUA virtues I was indulging too much in drinks the stress at work and getting out of shape finally collided into that disastrous night. Long story short I jumped on somebodies truck which drove off I got a concussion and my so called friend said I was going to throw up which I never do but because she said this friend # 2 put his hands on me and threw me out the car. Just to let you know Ive had friends throw up in my Mustang track muddy feet in it but as a GOOD friend I take one for the team. Anyways, I fought this guy who was two times my size, then fought him again when friend #3 instead of taking me home he took me over to were friend #2 instigated and we fought again! But this time from a mix of concussion/alcohol/blows to the face threw a brick through the guys car and could even properly defend myself and the end from what I barley remember against a guy sober I would never fight anyways.
So in hindsight I don't blame them I should of never of let my guard down to trust somebody and drink that much alcohol I should have been more responsible I dont know how I feel of my peak when I was killing it, and yes im willfully paying for my friends car repairs and apologized to stop the beef I don't care about grunges I want drama free. Not to mention my good friend PUA Danny died on 22Sept12 who I looked up too and one of the only people I truly respected on a deeper level than that generic way that word gets thrown around these days. So healing up and shutting myself off from contact I been piecing things back together no more hard alcohol, one of my best nights out was at the Falls with only two beers in my system. I sacrificed time with my military friends for my PUA buddies which turns out this collection of online to real gaming wingmen were a hell of a lot more reliable and cool than my AFC Navy brothers. They wanted to drink and get stupid my PUA friends were intellectual college and career successful people unlike the fucking MRA and general populations stereotypes of us. I could even function and get basic tasks all the numbers I collected when I was on top going out 6 nights a week social life on steroids is in shamble's I just stopped talking and stopped caring I got back into Battlefield 3 and YouTube watching the Amazing Atheist and Angry Snowmen. Most the numbers I deleted I even sunk so low as to think of settling and going back with my shady exe "fuck that shit!". But there was a number I had saved I meet her at the Thrift Store who I mentioned in my first day game attempts posts.
She started texting me wanting to get together, my negative anti social ass I turned into barley texted her back with shitty uninteresting replies. But she keeped texting me "im thinking why the fuck is this girl so on to and can leave me alone we have not seen each other since March of this year." She wanted to be sex buddies even in that state I wasn't going to say no, so finally she did come over and it was awesome she said "you remember that day you came up to me and talked to me I couldn't get you out of my head your different" it reminded me of who I was becoming before I went on that alcohol crazed crash the end of this year and reminded me of what the game taught me about enjoying life more than that generic garbage I have still so much to experience and to do. I cant really explain it between PUA Danny dieing and her throwing me that lifeline back into the real would im feeling like im back and I know what I need to do for PUA Danny's sake and for mine as well. Sometimes I wonder how I walked away from a concussion and 2 fights face bleeding now fully recovered and its not the first close call Ive had a close call and PUA Danny a successful Physical Therapist and talented amateur wrestler for the RCW ready to go on to the WWE who takes time out of his day for fans and the community, battled depression and finally got back with his beautiful girlfriend that I can only dream of having, just passed away out of nowhere. Were the justice and fairness in this kind of fucked up world where this great person I can only aspire to become dies and my drunk dumbass survives being an idiot once again! So like the Dark night im rising and its about God damn time PUA Goose is back I have to take it once step at a time and learn from my mistakes. In Tyler We Trust Rise From The Ashes!
PUA Danny AKA RCW Wrestler Mr Exclusive R.I.P. to a good friend, wingman I live on a better person and wont take a day for granted in your memory brother.
If any of my PUA brothers are going thru a rough time in your life not alone even the best of us beat down by life if you let it you have to keep getting back up and fight and hit it harder.
CHAT