| This is a long article but I have basically synthesized 10 years of picking up women (Cold Approach), and 6 years of teaching into a few paragraphs. If I had this blueprint when I first started I would have saved myself years!!
My results are consistent and I feel at this point in my development I can basically turn almost any women around to at least been attracted to me, feeling very connected and worst case in conflict. She has boyfriend, she never gets so hot and heavy with guys so quickly and she can’t understand how she can feel this way when she just met me.
I know because I have been able to get into such authentic situations with women that they blatantly tell me what they are feeling. They ask me where I came from, why am I so confident, and the best… Why can’t more men be like me?
The ones that are available, well I don’t need to go into too much detail except to say that not only do I have an amazing experience with each woman I hook up with, but I honestly believe that she is even more blown away than me. I usually hear my two favorite words “thank you” as she tells me that I have given her hope, that real man do exist and what an amazing experience she has had with me.
I do know that more men are becoming like me I think to myself. In-fact there may only be a handful that I know personally, but they have transformed themselves into REAL MEN who actually do get what it means to be real and take a woman in a way that she wants. These are a few close friends and clients.
Here is my Method in 6 steps. Hope it helps you as much as it works for me.
1,Grounding Creates Connection
Connection as in we need to feel a certain pull between the two of us. It should not have much conscious effort, it should be like two magnets that are drawn to each other and we should both feel a mutual connection regardless of physical attractiveness.
There is a complete difference between learning external skills to meet women, interest them, and cause attraction as opposed to actual 1 on 1 connection. Without 1 on 1 connection it probably won’t happen. This 1 on 1 connection is the final sticking point and barrier towards dates, sex, and relationships. It begins here and it ends here!
As you and the girl are interacting there must be a connection building. If you doubt yourself, do not see yourself as worthy and capable, then this will get triggered into self doubt during your interactions and connection will be severed. This is why its vital to be grounded!
Again, at any point if feelings of unworthiness and lack of ability get triggered during your interaction then connection will be severed!! You will go into fight or flight mode, either backing off and ending the interaction early or going into overcompensating behavior by trying to grab and force it.
Either response will break the connection as your vibe and energy shift. You close off and lose that lovely stream of connect ability that the two of you were experiencing. BTW women can do this to so don’t always take it personally. Experience will show you that men are not the only gender with issues relating to the opposite sex. But lets worry about you for now!
You need to have all deserving issues and inferior complexes sorted before success can occur. The work around this is in working on beliefs, self image, and reality. Possibly even healing yourself in relationship might be necessary if you have been wounded in relationship as a child. Therapy is the only way to really deal with this and should be utilized!
2, The Approach
When you cold approach a girl she can be slightly resistant as in hesitant in her responses to you, to interact back. The experienced guy understands that this is where persistence is important and she will most likely turn around soon. Women’s emotions are fluid and so her behavior will reflect this. If she gets a good feeling around you she will open right up, but first she needs to experience you and this can take more than just a few seconds. Just keep going.
At first she is sometimes nervous, uncertain of you, and just wants to play it cool. She wants to feel comfortable in your presents and she needs to feel safe. She needs to know that you’re safe.
This is where positivity and self esteem come into play. You need to know that you’re a good person (remember grounding) to interact with and that you offer lots of value. This will be expressed in your attitude, body language and vibe.
When you interact you take a strong assertive stance that is in line with your core. This is true masculinity and she needs this.
As an example you might be extremely confident in your questioning of her by way of “what’s your name, and where are you from”. You ask her these things not only to make conversation but you ask because you want to know! See the difference? One is passive and fake; the other is assertive and genuine.
It’s then important that you go directly and talk about yourself. Tell her what area you are from and what you have been up to today. You demonstrate that you don’t need her approval and are self determining and validated. Just in the moment doing your thing and for now she is a part of it.
She now also has the opportunity to ask you questions about your statements and feels like she also has plenty to say. Again she needs to feel that’s it’s easy to make conversation with you. Your just so easy to talk to she thinks.
You can find commonalities, where you are aligned and express things you both enjoy. It should register in the back of her mind that you could possibly be doing these things together. Flirtation, role playing, teasing, humor, edginess, and storytelling are extremely important at this point.
If for example she was from Melbourne, you might make a statement like, “actually the truth is I was out looking to meet some Melbourne people today, hence why I came over to talk to you”.
Now obviously you didn’t know she was from Melbourne and this statement would not make sense, but it’s edgy, and really triggers those emotions. This is flirting and creates interest and attention.
BTW, do you actually know what it means when somebody states that a woman needs her emotions triggered? How does friendly banter about your job achieve this? Well, it most likely won’t. If your conversation is safe and boring then you are safe and boring.
I would also do things like commenting on what we are talking about. Remember you are following your masculine energy and want to directly express to her that you are into her in a sexual manner. You don’t want to just end up being friends and so you make this clear. This behavior is very attractive and refreshing to her.
Ill say something like, “so what do you get up to on the weekends” and then while she is responding Ill further comment, “you know where this is going don’t you”. Referring to the fact that I’m into her, going to be asking for the phone number soon or possibly even hooking up with her then and there.
I’m been very clear in what I want and so there are no surprises. My confidence in my intention is very attractive to her for the truth is that women really do want to be taken and by pass social norms. Weak men are the furthest from what she wants yet that’s all she seems to get.
3, Connection
A commonality between the two of you in the vibe. Personal beliefs about been attractive, worthy and capable are again vital (I can’t stress this enough, do whatever it takes to get here). You must have the mindset that you are the man, attractive, sexual, connectible, a lover, amazing in bed, nurturing, full of massive value. These self beliefs must be the overall self image that you have of yourself as a man in this world. Your self-concept must be one of been amazingly successful with women.
As you interact with her your thoughts must be one of how much value and uniqueness she is experiencing with you. You must know that she is truly in the presents of an absolute gem, a rare guy, and that all you want to do is show her an amazing time. She is beautiful and she deserves it! She deserves you!
Verbally you share similar experiences and interests while continually role playing and disusing things that only you two understand. This should be set that you and her are insiders in your own private world. Here you are performing lots of touching, having lots of flirts but at the same time appreciating her for how amazing she is. It’s an inside world just for the both of you.
4, Movement
Things must be mixed up, changing the theme from meet and attract to further building up the connection by non-threateningly doing something together within the venue. This could be by way of going to the bar to get a drink with each other, to going outside for some fresh air, to going for a dance. This should be like in a movie. You have not kissed yet but as you are getting to know each other and further bonding and connecting, the lead up toward the first kiss is set in motion. Prolonging will can continue to build up tension.
(Side Note) – It can’t be sleazy the pickup, it needs to be genuine and very spontaneous, synchronistic. It’s should feel like an amazing experience for her, your sharing in this experience and it’s like it was meant to happen. The vibe seems effortless and perfect (a text book pickup). This is as far away as possible from a drunken pash scenario and trying to get a root scenario where it’s all obvious. This needs to feel like a story in the making, a fairy tale experience. This is where a lot of guys go wrong, they are too slick out of fear of connection.
5, The Kiss
Now is the time to go out for some fresh air, to leave the venue and take a romantic walk. It could be in the city, into a park, or anywhere as this is more about the two of you, very connected beings on an adventure. She would also know at this point that a kiss is coming as do you. You are leading this whole thing and the kiss is on its way. She should feel at this point like she is dreaming...
Now at some point you will stop, turn around to face her, look her deeply in the eyes while grabbing her waist and pulling her into you. Then kiss her! I promise you she will be so into you that she will be using tongue and all. All you’ll have to do is passively keep your mouth there. I love it, very predictable.
6, Getting Her Back to Your Place
Remember that women want sex as much as guys, so she does want to sleep with you and she does want to go home with you. What’s important now is that you lead her so that she can let go and just be in the moment.
I usually mention that I am sleepy and all I feel like doing right now is heading home to watch a movie. I will openly tell her that I am so blown away by meeting her and what an amazing experience I am having. I continue to tell her that I don’t want it to end it right now. I then I look her deeply into the eyes while grabbing her again by the waist and invite her to come over and join me. I smile, kiss her again on the lips and say “let’s get out of here.” The rest is history.
This can take anywhere from an hour, to 3/4 hours depending on the situation. The kind of girl she is, how your feeling on the night, what the occasion is for her been out, how many friends she is with and how close they are, how long she has been single for and her religious views etc. You will need to bypass all these things and this is where time comes in.
Good Luck
Colin Dubb
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Kelly Austin
Admin
Day Game Dating (Australia)
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