EDIT: I think it's best that I just move on to another girl lol
Too much BS and dislike for some of the things she lets happen to her

Remember this game is all about you being able to have the choice of who you wind up with.

I'm not sure what you mean by "problems," but if they're psychological then chances are they're not fixable and that they'll only get worse as time goes on.

Don't. It's not your job to fix her problems. It's hers and her therapist's. Move on!

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

All women have problems, even if it doesn't show on the surface. It's just women's nature. You will be hell bent to find a woman that doesn't have issues.

Trust me on this one. Even if the problems don't seem like a big deal to us as men, you are going to run into this issue with every woman you know. No matter what!


It's one of life's certainties.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

This is what I was worried about, every girl I've had things for have had problems (family seems to be common), and making me think that what is there with this one may be worth sticking it out for.

Basically she used to be a heavy drinker, but has gotten alot better from things she's told me. Apparently before I was in the picture she was seeing people that were involved with drugs, which is not my scene at all.

One of the things I actually like about her is how she lives life day to day and is disorganized but remains a good person who cares alot about family etc.

Part One-The annoying extraneous BS

We go out sometimes, but by the end of the night I don't like being around her due to a weird thing going on right now. She has a male friend that she invites out (part of her social circle), and by the end of the night when she's pretty much sedated from all the alcohol the male friend goes in for kisses.

I've wanted to step in seeing how damn creepy this is all the time, but it's her life, and we're not going out. I'd look like an idiot. If it bothered her that much it wouldn't happen and they wouldn't be friends. I'm probably sounding jealous, but I'm moreso annoyed at her than him. I don't care about this guy at all.

I'm also not worried about this guy at all because if you knew him, you'd know he's clueless. She's outright said today they're not dating (basically when I met him he brought her flowers, talked about his feelings with her in the corner of the bar, boasted about petty things to make himself sound cool...I have no doubt they're going anywhere or lasting). What bothers me is that I was getting cockblocked by THEIR friends (they've all known each other since the beginning, I just moved to this town recently) since they want him to be happy.

We've had a thing in the past, but already I'm thinking it's not worth it. I'm not really jealous, but I'm annoyed for some reason because of the way she treats herself (being fine with being taken advantage of..but then again it's in her personality to not care if some guy is creeping her hardcore, which is dislike).

I don't know if they hooked up yet, but when we've gone out as a group, I'll be gaming her early in the night, I see openings for kissing, but I have this fucking guy breathing down my neck, with her social circle basically against me in this regard. NOT WORTH IT if this is how it's gonna be since you can't tell a girl to stop hanging with her friends.
Those were just extraneous things.


Part 2-Her
On a just me and her basis, I'm just not getting good feelings anymore when alcohol is involved. I could hook up with her anytime if we got drunk alone, and that's what I don't respect about her, I don't know what's real. Same shit could happen to the other guy for all I know, I don't like it being that easy and fake.

When sober I feel good around her making her laugh etc., when alcohol gets involved I feel like shit because it's back to, "I just want to get drunk!"

I'm hating the bar scene in this town, half the girls are coked out or have drama going on.

I'm sure part of this is my own natural game not being completely there, I'm learning to actually not give a shit, but that gets rid of my drive to go for her. I think I'm obsessing more over the game of her naturally (without alcohol), then actually being fully compatible (since her lifestyle differs from mine).

wait so you got a druggie who gets smashed and keeps a major orbiter near her just because they are friends?

you enjoy face 2 face

but you don't when:

friends are around
she drinks (which she likes to)

you see a pattern?

also.. from personal experience.. that kind of girl is so prone to depression which sucks to be around since you either feel bad because you AREN'T there to keep her up or you feel bad because you ARE there keeping her up every time

her life is/will be going downhill unless she gets hold of it
do you want to be her therapist? stick with her and get some background in psychology
either call her out on it asap.. before she frames you (if she didn't do it already)
she actually changes? (will not happen)
she just goes like "this is my life, this is me, i can't do anything about it"

but I'm not you
what you like about her?

I agree 100% with every word. Well said!


but I'm not you
what you like about her?[/quote]


woah! seems a like a personal experience, sorry to hear that bro. ( I can almost here you saying it, with a higher pitched voice, mocking her...and a look of disguist on your face). lol.

Some women can change in that situation. It all depends on her desire to change. And one's ability to help create the desire. And of course the obvious. age/kids/lifestyle...etc But it can be done.

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

You must evaluate her. Give her a value, be sincere with it, don't listen to anyone else. If you like her and think she has potential to change. Then I say go for it! It all comes down to how much you want her. I am assuming you are relatively young? What you have to do is spend a complete day/night on her. Get drunk with her if you have to. Be sure to have her alone for the entire night. As you drinking, start to get very deep with her, ask her deep questions about herself, who is she, who did she wanna be. what makes her sad... The deeper the better. If she lets it all out and you still want her. Then DO IT! If its too much BS, don't waste your time. Still hit it every now and then though, girls with a lot of issue's are usually good in bed...lol

I almost forgot. If you are already having sex with her. Don't that night. Dont be sexual at all, you will need to disassociate yourself and her from it. ( if you must! do it before you are about fall asleep and after all her drama is out)

What do you have to lose?

_________________
Seduce their mind and the rest will follow.

To answer the other questions, when sober she's a wonderful person (really generous even though she's squeezing by) and there has been days when she's down. I always felt so damn good being the one to make her laugh etc. I've been keeping sexual jokes and all that in the mix though so it doesn't become straight up friendship.

We had a night like that once last week, got into deep conversation, she talked about her past, felt a connection, then headed out to the bar.

This was the first night we went out, when things got really weird right off the bat (the meeting the guy-friend and watching him give flowers to her). I just played it cool the whole time like I said. I could tell she was just like "oh these are nice" without any attachment to it.

The whole night she was actually kind of boasting about ME, but I was just put off having this dude around, At one point we were holding hands, and this guy puts his arm around her, I just stared in her eye like with like a "what the..?" expression.

So I ended up hanging out with people I kinda knew there for awhile.

This was my fuck up, because I left her alone with this other dude to let him do whatever he wanted. I think it was a smart choice showing I have other stuff to do than fight for her all night, but the fuck up was that I know he just keeps redoing this and it bugs me. We got driven home that night, by their friends, and I got dropped off first, the friends probably dropped him off at her place lol.

I can't describe how annoying it is sitting next to a girl in a bar, with another dude sitting on the other side of her trying to talk game, it probably looks really gay from another point of view LOL, so I just head off and talk to other girls.

Sorry lol, I keep swapping between aspects of her, and aspects of hanging with her. It's obvious that I just need to get her alone again.

I'll keep hanging with her but without attachment from now on, see what happens, just sucks because without emotion attachment my drive to flirt still etc. is kind of gone I noticed.
Maybe with more time, more of her personality will come out that I'll like or dislike. I can tell she doesn't want to be this way, she kind of mentioned it that one night that she feels good being away from the old crowd, but she still has a party girl syndrome and has to party every 2 days, which I won't do.