i like my ex girlfriend we went out twice and after being on the forums alot and learning about shit test ive noticed all the times when we talk over the phone and such she mentions some "hot guy" and crap always talking about another guy like shes trying to get me jealous she said she likes me alot but wants to be friends.

we were playing xbox live i was at my friends house she was at her friends house and me and her friend that was a guy were talking and she comes in "shes the one who wanted to play with me" saying "omg dont talk to him uggh go on private chat with me" its not her boyfriend because he lives in a different state. next thing i know he comes back saying she was talking about me being annoying and shit and that set me off like a match when i did nothing wrong she ends up playing black ops with him for the rest of the night so i message her on facebook.






me
I'm just trying to be your friend and play the xbox with you I dont know why your talking shit about me being annoying or some shit behind my back

her
whatevvverrrrrrr :pp

me
What the fuck is wrong with you. You have something against me now?
You know what nvm your not even worth getting into drama with so fuck you. You two faced bitch.

her
your tough guy arn't you now?

me
Nahh I just don't feel like putting up with assholes.
If your gonna be a random bitch to your friend don't talk to me anymore I thought you were better than that

her
THE DEALS OFF YOUR OFFICALY MY BITCH , BITCH "ps: we made a deal that if i won this match shes my bitch for a week and i won"

me
I'm serious. And no your still my bitch for a week

her
NO!
YOU IS MY BITCH

me
NO WE MADE A BET.

her
WE MADE A DEAL AZIPIT

me
Its too late we virtually shook on it. I gotta go bye

her
byee(:

me
I'm not mad at you but why did you say that about me?


her
i was just like OMG HE NEEDS TO STOP. He's getting annoying it's not like i said oh bro he's a ugly bastard with a beard. No it was nothing like you thought.

me
What did I do that needed to stop? It's not like I cared that you were talking to him?

her
you kept leaving my party so i was talking to myself for like 6 minutes."bs didnt happen"

me
That was probably ricky I didn't I thought you kept leaving my party you were private chatting and didnt say anything

me
Whatever I don't even care anymore

her
i was talking to that kid

me
Isn't he your boyfriend?

her
LOL no.

me
Lmao well that one kid said that wildchild or something called you his "girl" lol it's ok you can tell me I don't "like like" you anymore

her "is this a shit test?"
nahh he's just really sweet if he lived in jax i'd defffffffff date him but he dosen't soo no.

me "trying to act like i dont care hopefully not sounding homo"
Yeah he does seem cool so I'm not surprised lol

her
lol.

me "returning the shit she gave me"
You know any girls you'd think I'd like?

her "shes told me she hates sidney and knows i like her"
what about sidney. Idfk.

me
K


so what should i do from here after some crap like this and she turns it around like a joke? is there anything i did wrong that could be unattractive or something just advice future references i know i shouldent have went along with the joke but its not me to be an arguemental person and i love to joke around. any advice thanks

you are showing a lack of emotional control and letting her control the frame of your interaction. that's two unattractive things off the bat.

please define the frame of interaction

should i apologize? im thinking i should just not talk to her anymore see what happens i dont know i like her alot though. she was my first girlfriend which is probably why any tips on how to get over it?

Apologize for what? Don't get into the habit of apologizing to woman, its very beta.

Controlling the frame: she is dictating the terms of your argument, if I couldn't get an answer I want from the interaction I would move on to a subject of my choosing and let her follow. Your asking all the questions which shows she is leading

Emotional control: She is telling you to calm down, relax, etc or whatever she said. she seems to have you salty and heated. Girls want the guy to have emotional control, if you let her push your buttons your losing.

Really don't apologize to women? I disagree with this. I agree he has no reason to apologize to her, but don't get in a habit of apologizing? Show some charisma, some humility, if you make a mistake why can't you apologize about it? Confidence isn't about not apologizing, and lacking the manners to apologize certainly doesn't make you "Alpha".

It is when you apologize for no reason that you fall into the AFC bit, because you are allowing your insecurities to have the conversation. Apologize when you fuck up, don't be scared to do so. A man is a man because many things including strengths, imperfections, humility, graciousness, and his ability to apologize, owning up to his own mistakes. The mature thing to do is to always own up to your mistakes, and apologize for them.

I also agree he lost it and she owned him this whole conversation. She owned him emotionally. I personally wouldn't even have bothered with it, next time we talked I would have politely said "sorry but I heard through the grapevine I annoy you. I wouldn't want that" and literally just move on.

If she asks for more you have the option to open that can of worms, or just tell her to have a good one and bounce.

These people aren't worth pouring any emotion into them especially negative emotion. It isn't worth it, and if it isn't worth it as you said, then you shouldn't have even said anything more. Should have said to have a good day/night and moved on. Why let something like that get to you?

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

its because after all this time we have been friends and talked all the time next thing i know when i didn't do anything she just insults me behind my back that set me off i was really angry but yeah now i see i did get pretty over the edge.

I think what Detox means is for him not to apologize for this particular situation. He clearly didn't do anything wrong, so theres no need for him to apologize. This is exactly one reason why I don't stay in touch with exs man. Nothing but drama and trouble.

You say youre both friends, but you still like her, and shes making you look like a chump. Whether if she was joking about talking shit behind your back or not, if thats something you don't accept, then you need to assert yourself. Don't ask questions. What I would have done was something like, "I'm hearing that certain things are being said by you behind my back. Im not saying they are true, but if there is one thing I don't tolerate, it's shittalking. If I find out it is true, I will expunge those people immediately from my life. I don't have time for immature and shady people." Leave it at that and move on to another subject.

She will get the point, and you won't look so beta. How will you know if its true or not? You won't. But if it keeps coming up and you keep hearing about it, then you have to question yourself just how trustworthy your ex really is.

She's in revenge mode. Basically you are playing her game (not xbox. social games). Her rules. You have to flip it around. It's YOUR game. YOU'RE the man. You've got to be willing to lose her. Freeze her out if you have to. Just what ever you do, keep your cool. I know it's not easy lol. Think of it from this perspective. She is so immature to feed off of your emotional upset. She gets validation from it. Meaning SHE IS FALLIBLE, she's not something that should be put on a pedestal. If it's something minor, let it go. Play it cool. If it's obviously not cool. Take control, don't give up the power.

It should go something like this.

YOU: I don't appreciate (legit wronged event) Talk to me when you're willing to treat me with respect.

Her: response you don't agree with

YOU: Silence.

Her: responce you don't agree with

YOu silence.

Her: apology

YOU: "Cool." Let it go, completely change subject. aka lead the interaction into something fun that she will enjoy.

When ever she acts like a jerk, pretend like it discuss you and you lose attraction. But that means actually letting her go. It's backwards thinking and honestly a losing battle, especially if you don't change your frame.

Frame definition = Frame of mind. Frame of character. The stage of interaction. Sense of reality. Unspoken communication. Arnold has a strong physical frame. Obama has a strong political frame. Jesus has a strong spiritual frame. "that guys a bitch he has no frame."

It's amusing that you even had an argument with her about who is who's bitch. lol. The unspoken frame is also about who is who's bitch lol. It's a rarity for unspoken and spoken to be completely congruent. lmao

Sorry I didn't bother to read through the entire convo because what I want to tell you is not relevant to shit tests: She's your EX for a reason. Getting back with your ex is not gonna end well. Do a favour for both of you and just move on...

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.