Energetic Funny vs Cool Calm Dilemma



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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:02 am 
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Hey guys i want your opinions and personal experiences on this one. I feel like im naturally a funny guy tho i have decent inner game, so i know about neediness and approval seeking etc. when i sarge i try to build sexual tension thru push/pull and teasing

recently, especially if youve watched sashas kiss close video, ive been noticing that its better to be more cool and calm because it comes off very confident and has masculine, polarized, "im a man" energy to it. im starting to feel like being more calm and chill is actually what women want, a polarized masculine persona.

im starting to think that women prefer a tall buff chill guy much over humor and wit.
maybe humor and all this joking teasing is childish?

give me your input cause im thinking of throwing my "personality" out the fucking window right about now


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:20 pm 
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Mate... there is absolutely no "correct" way to be.

I'm generally a pretty chilled out, use silences effectively kinda guy. But I so have some friends who bounce off the walls like maniacs and absolutely clean up with women.

Work to your strengths. If you're a naturally energetic and funny guy, go with it. Plenty of chicks dig that big time. Just balance it nicely with some sexual tension building (which you said you're already doing) and then make sure you isolate and escalate!

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:51 pm 
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James is right, and not just cuz we have the same name :lol: (corny joke)

I found that for me a good rule of thumb is that club and bar game (where music is loud), it's better to be energetic and push/pull, because it fits the theme of the SPAM.

If it's day game, calm and masculine works better, because once again, it fits the theme of the SPAM. You don't wanna be overly energetic at a barnes and noble or a coffee shop ya know?


Good luck


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:20 pm 
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Completely agree with both posts, shouldn't ever change who you are... just play to your strengths. Ideally a girl wants a man who can be exactly what she needs in every situation; the rebellious, fun, spontaneous guy when she wants to have fun, the protective, confident hero when she feels unsafe, the calm and collected smooth guy when she wants to be woo'd or the perfect gentleman she can take home to her parents; the aim of gaming is to create the idea you are all of these without seeming like you're trying.

I find at clubs that being loud and excitable with in a group but calm and collected when you isolates works pretty well; but I always tease.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:06 pm 
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I think you need to be careful not to let either one go too far - too goofy/funny and you come across as the clown rather than the one with charisma. Too chilled and calm and you come across as the quiet one with nothing of any interest to say.

I reckon that as long as you find yourself somewhere in the middle of those two extremes, you're pretty good to go with whatever personality you've got already really!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:50 pm 
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I think that calibrating your energy levels to the situation e.g. high energy for clubs, may help a lot in this instance and also avoids the decision to have either energetic game or clam game, choosing one style and sticking to it dogmatically, could hinder you.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 2:20 am 
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I think that calibrating your energy levels to the situation e.g. high energy for clubs, may help a lot in this instance and also avoids the decision to have either energetic game or clam game, choosing one style and sticking to it dogmatically, could hinder you.
I agree with everyone but this is about spot on. Know when you need to change modes. If you are with a girl in the middle of the night being goofy isn't needed, unless she is sad and you are cheering her up. When you get to a certain point in the interaction then you just switch over to actual seduction.

First you build attraction, now that is using whatever tools you have, that goes from your personality to looks to style.

Then you go to elevating the interaction. You want to start building more then attraction, you want to build toward intimacy, so you look at how you build intimacy. Close the distance, start in on the touch phase. So you start touch in innocent areas(shoulder, upper back, arm) that won't ring off alarms(unless the attraction is already strong enough) for here and there moments. Then you lengthen the time of touch and move to the lower back, hips, etc.

You slow things down, fall in sync, you begin to copy each other. You talk slightly lower so they lean into you. Build up for the kiss using the intimate gaze.

You just got to get to a point where you know, oh it's in the bag, now she is attracted. So you elevate towards intimacy. It takes a minute to make reading an interaction easy but at a certain point you get a feel for what you should be doing, whether that is goofy, or just slow down.

I like to have fun, joke around, laugh, but at the same time I have been good enough to have very serious conversations late at night with girls so I could build intimacy. Girls are always surprised when we end up talking late together how serious, wise, and intelligent I am, I know there is a certain point where I use those gifts in the right situation.

Also some of the goofiest guys I know are Naturals, always hooking up with hot girls. They both have one goal and that is to have fun right NOW!. They aren't serious quiet guys, they are the opposite loud fun guys, they just know how to put themselves in a correct situation and how to elevate it from there.

A lot of people confuse building attraction with building intimacy, one doesn't do the other for you. Personality is great for building attraction, intimacy is a whole different animal.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:04 am 
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Sasha and cool and calm don't go together, I'm wondering if you are confusing PUA's


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