Haven't had time to read the posts in this thread, but it reminds me of a past date...

A little background info: I went to mission beach with this girl for a week along with a large group of friends (my fraternity at the time, but that's another story...). We were stuck in the same car for about 8 hours, i spoke with her for 4 of them, built comfort, rapport, bla bla bla whatever you want to call it. Long story short, we hooked up every night of the trip, and i wanted to date her when i came back, but i started seeing a different girl for 3 months. After that period called her up, she sounded ecstatic to hear from me again (like she was in love), and we set up a date.

My feelings for her had settled, so i decided to use this date as... an experiment. Usually im quite the talker. I can go on and on about nothing while having it seem interesting and entrancing. But, tonight, it was time for something different. I'd decided that I would use a bit more eye contact, and a bit less speech the entire time. To my amazement, she seemed enthralled at every mundane question I asked her (e.g. "where do you work," "what's your major," etc...). There was a peak-point where I thought, damn, I might f-close. Soon after that peak, however, things began to dwindle. Her eyes began searching for an escape. The conversation got quiet. I remained the same, but eventually found myself searching for an escape as well! What started as a magical evening turned completely sour. She invited me inside her home by the end of it, but wouldn't break a two-three foot barrier with me. I felt as if I scared her.

What i took from this was that It's okay to seem uninterested and force compliance for only so long. But a large buildup of sexual tention (from her speaking a lot, my silence and extended maintained eye-contact) MUST be broken ONLY after she's worked for it.

Any insight on my experience would also be appreciated.

I think that doing this also will make you look like an confident person because: making pauses when you speak, shows that
1. you are not desperate for her attention.
2. you are not afraid of pausing, therefore not afraid of her losing interest in you because you are not saying anything.

It is like a uncomfortable and insicure person, will always say "uhm", "ehm" etc. because the person is afraid that the listener will lose interest if the person dosen't keep talking, therefore the person will always trying to talkt with as little pauses as possible!

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My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

I'm really glad this thread has generated so much conversation!

arishorts, there are a lot of different things at play there so it's difficult to give accurate advice but from what I read she sounded interested. She may have seemed a little closed off because she was nervous.

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This is gold but I can see a lot of guys using it the wrong way. After every question: pause.... "1...2...3 ok I'm good" haha

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