| Right, thought this may be of beefit to some users, who may get scared, have suffered or still suffer from shyness, check this out, courtesy of Swingcat.
Note: The first part of the article is geared towards beginners, intermediates, and guys getting back into the game. The second part reveals some very advanced tactics. If you’re a bonafide Casanova, don’t just skip to the bottom. Read the whole article. This first part is a great refresher and puts the second part in context.
In some bar on the outskirts of San Antonio Texas, it’s West Coast Swing night. Bob and Sally are just getting to know each other. Bob’s 6’3" buck naked.
But his cowboy boots and hat elevate him to 6’5". Sally, on the other hand, hovers around 4’11" on a good day.
The awkward tension between Bob and Sally is so thick you’d need a chainsaw to cut through it. When you read the last sentence, an image of them dancing together probably popped into your head.
Actually, they’ve already danced. Believe it or not, their bodies moved well together. They owned the floor. Moreover, when Sally first laid eyes on Bob, she thought, “Damn, he’s one sexy cowboy.”
The train wreck of a human interaction is what’s happening right now. The two of them are just standing around, having a drink, and shooting the shit.
Due to the loud music and height difference, Bob’s heart thuds with worry that his words won’t reach Sally’s ears. Every time he has something to say, he leans over so far, it looks like he’s bowing.
Furthermore, he’s struggling to hear her. Whenever she says something, he bends his upper body until his right ear is parallel with her lips.
Every minute that passes by hacks her interest for him in half. Sooner than later, she squirrels away from hapless Bob to dance with another cowboy.
What I’m about to tell you is a little counterintuitive. On the surface, Bob did everything right. He was conscientious of their height difference. He sacrificed his own comfort to accommodate her and ensure that their communication was unimpeded.
But Sally slipped away from Bob to go dance with another man. Is she a snatch with teeth chewing up men’s egos and then spitting them out? (As you’ll see in a minute, far from it.)
Underneath Bob’s southern hospitality and Sally’s prima facie rude behavior is another level of communication – one that’s largely unconscious.
Every male-female interaction has an underlying meaning or meta-frame. The meta-frame determines the role each person plays: one as the Prize, the other as the chaser.
Women feel attraction for men who are the Prize. If you don’t set a meta-frame that defines you as the Prize, you’ll lose the woman.
Bob isn’t leaning in because he’s a nice guy. He’s leaning in because he puts a tremendous amount of value on keeping the interaction with Sally alive.
Sally – maybe only on an unconscious level – knows this. As a result, she takes on the role of the Prize and, alas, moves onto another guy.
Leaning your body into a woman is a paradigm case of reactive body language. As a general rule: whoever has the least reactive body language in the interaction takes on the role of the Prize.
If leaning in is a problem for you, take a deep breath, my friend.
You’re not a social mutant we need cart away to some leper colony. Most of us guys have more demerits for leaning in than a A.D.D. brat has for disobedience.
There’s also a simple cure to leaning-in-itis. What you’re about to learn takes a healthy chunk of discipline to master insofar as it involves breaking a bad habit.
The next time you struggle to hear a woman, lean back and make her accommodate you. Maybe, jokingly, cup your ear with your hand and playfully tease, “Damn girl, your voice is so soft! Are you shy or something?” This forces her to speak up. It also forces her to move closer, so you can hear her.
If a woman complains of not being able to hear you, maybe say, “I think you need to change the batteries on your Miracle Ear.” Or, “Next time I see you, I’ll make sure I bring a horn.” Likewise, this forces her to move closer.
Because she’s behaving reactive and accommodating you, you’re in control of the Fourfold Meta-Frame. You’re the Prize she’s trying to win over.
Now for the advanced stuff…
What I’m about to share with you works especially well at bars and night clubs. (With this technique, the loud music is actually your ally.) Although, I’ve successfully used this technique in the middle of the day.
The woman doesn’t need to find you attractive at all to pull this off. Sometimes it can even be more powerful if she doesn’t.
Wait until you’ve hooked a woman into a real conversation: Her eyes are focused on you, her ears perk up every time you say something, and her lips aren’t shy about contributing to the interaction.
Hint: When most people are enjoying each other’s company their spacial proximity is usually no more than a foot and a half apart. In other words… you should be pretty damn close to her.
Step 1: As her interest level begins to climax, start lowering the volume of your voice. She’ll be forced to lean in to hear what you’re saying.
Step 2: Turn the volume down yet another notch… she’ll have to get even closer.
Step 3: Reduce your voice almost to a whisper and pull her into you so your lips are grazing her ear as you're talking.
If done correctly, the woman should be a little confused as to whether your ear caresses are intentional or inadvertent. (This builds insane amounts of arousal and sexual tension in women.)
Step 4: Move your lips to her mouth and kiss her.
Usually women need to see a man as having a certain amount of Prizability and feel some level comfort and sexual arousal to kiss him. To sleep with him, they need even more of these three things.
In my courses, I spend a lot of time teaching how to build Prizability, comfort, and sexual arousal.
However, what’s unique about the last example I gave you is that you don’t need to start with any of these things to be successful.
Here’s the freaky thing: Let’s pretend a girl finds you butt ugly and thinks you pack the Prizability of a turd.
If you use this technique and kiss her, afterwards she’ll backwards rationalize that the reason she kissed you is because she sees you as the Prize and feels aroused and comfortable around you. _________________ Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!
: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/
|
CHAT
