Hey guys I figure this post should go here.

So basically. I'm one of the most passionate people that i know. I know exactly
what i want out of my life and i pursue it with everything i have and have very
ambitious goals. Im on my "path" or "purpose," which is drumming. being the
best drummer i can be, etc.

Now everyone keeps saying how having a purpose is arguably the biggest
attraction switch. Well, i have one, yet i don't have as much success as i would
like. i don't doubt the theory at all because of communicated this to one girl in
particular and had a great sort of relationship with. But how can i take advantage
of this? how can i communicate this strength of mine more effectively?

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I dont think being a drummer is enough of a passion. It lacks purpose.
If you said you wanted to be the best drummer you could be so that you could teach other people, or you could become sucessful as a touring drummer supporting well known musicians, and you were already taking steps to make this path a reality, that would be impressive.
Just having a subject you are passionate about, isn't enough. You need action

ok well if you wanted me to be more specifics my goals have been and are:

Start a my OWN band this summer.
Go on tour with this band.
get signed on a major label.
become a professional drummer being paid to record in studio.
get sponsored on drums by top drum companies
win at least one competition in the world's fastest drummer competion
teach drum lessons
start a drum lessons business
become a world great drummer.

...obviously the time frames for each of these goals vary a lot. and no im not
just spontaneously making these now these have been posted on my door, by
my drum set, and in my locker at school for around six months now.
does this help?

onward...

p.s. Thanks. i actually think you helped a bit by pointing out that maybe i need to
talk about all these ambitions i have instead of just my passion for drumming.
Anthing else i can do anyone?

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Thats much better bro. If it was me, i would plan out a paragraph ready to say.
For example.

I have always been passionate about music, and i found that drumming gave me a sense of freedom that i didnt find in every day life. As i put more and more time into practising i realised that i could make a living from doing something that i was passionate about. Since then i have been teaching, auditioning , and making massive progress into what is my passion in life. Music

You could also go on about the energy it gives you seeing other people get into your drumming, or how you only feel that way when you are drumming, maybe stuck some NLP in there.

Just some ideas bro

well thanks man! i'll have to experiment with this a bit.

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Hey man,

Looks like you already found the answer you were looking for. However, since I'm on the same path as you, I'd like to share my thoughts on living one’s purpose.

As you know by now, purpose is not just one thing. In fact it involves following multiple desires.

When following your purpose, you do things for yourself first until you are satisfied and then for others.

At any given time you might be at a different level with an individual desire. When you are satisfied at a level, you’ll start looking for the next level or you might decide to drop a particular desire to move on to some other desire. As long as this makes you happy it’s fine.

Hence, when you are following your true desires, regardless of which level you are at, then you are following your purpose in that moment.

So what are your true desires then? I'd say whatever you'd really like to do, not because society or friends say that following it will make you happy, but because you genuinely feel it will make you happy.

No matter how superficial your desires at the moment are, I'd say live them and get over them in order to move towards fulfilling deeper and meaningful desires. Without experiencing the former, the latter will become very difficult to achieve.

In order to get to know what your true desires are, choose things/goals that you haven't pursued so far due to your fears. Conquer one fear at a time, expanding your comfort zone one step at a time.

You might not find your true desires immediately. But taking action and self inquiry from time to time will eventually lead you to them. I’d say you would know if you found your purpose, if you were so happy most of the time, that you knew that you could do nothing else in that moment, and if death came you’d accept it without regrets.

So as you go through several experiences and become more confident, and when you are really happy and excited about your life; you really will start not caring of what others think of you, since you’ll have direction in life and you’ll be so sure about your reality.

Women will sense this and find you attractive, and so will men. Your true personality will shine through.

But nevertheless you might always be afraid to some level when it comes to approaching or talking to women. However, if you don't let that hold you back, and go for what you want anyway then your issues will start melting away. Hence, waiting till you find your purpose and are happy is not required.

Also, it always helps defining standards for the girl you want to date (someone whom you find really attractive and who is the kind of a partner that will aid in your purpose). It will become easy for you to qualify and be with her, since you’ll like her genuinely and not because she fills a huge need in your life (your purpose will take care of fulfilling these basic needs). You will be with her to share your love and happiness with her.

Also some outer games techniques might help, as long as you don't adopt something that you truly aren't. Here are a few of them that I feel give maximum value, which I’m looking into as well at the moment:

Maintaining good health: Exercising (cardio as well as weight training/muscular hypertrophy), eating the right foods, and meditating.

Basic hygiene, dressing, and grooming (looking sharp).

Martial Arts: Sparring with someone. Helps cultivate a killer instinct in every area of your life. Gains respect with men and makes you feel confident overall and helps you take quick decisions.

Dancing: Any dance form that involves a man and a woman in close proximity. Salsa, Tango, etc. Will make you feel confident in presence of a woman.

Becoming a good listener (actually caring about the people you listen to. Hence surrounding yourself with people who aid you in your purpose, and whom you genuinely like)

Some banter techniques like story telling, teasing, etc. as long as you don't used canned or routine material, but rather give to the situation what it demands. Also, talking about where you have been and where you are going in life. Letting the conversation flow naturally, so you get to know her and she gets to know you, so both of you can qualify each other, if you meet your standards.

Maintaining eye contact. Looking at one eye when talking. Breaking contact with others when they do. Maintaining eye contact not when listening, but also when talking.

Posture.. Need I say more?

Day 2/Dating Ideas. Taking the girl on an adventure, giving her a taste of your world, giving value, giving love, etc on a date. Taking the lead.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . .

So what drummer boy? What makes you any different from a dork who brags about his passion for dungeons and dragons and his high score on the play station? What is your reaction when a guy/girl sits there and chats about his/her passion for potted plants for an hour?

Simply nauseating.

was that suppost to be a helpful post?

Your a forum leader and you're ragging on someone for having something they
love to do in life? what was the purpose behind posting that? really lol.

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Agreed. He is just looking for a way to spin it into something interesting, i dont think that comment was warranted.
If you want to look at geeky past times, PUA is up there with the best of them, so we are all in the same boat

Unless you're attempting to game your mother or your drum teacher, what I wrote above is the reaction that EVERY GIRL will have in their heads regardless of whether they decide to be up front about it as me.

Now what's your next move? Will you complain to them that they are "ragging" on you?

Your passion for drumming(this is a good thing) has derailed you from your goal with girls. Just like the way potted plants might be passion for some, drumming is YOUR PASSION. What will an hour of blah, blah, blah about YOUR PASSION do for a girl? Turn this around. When a girl "blah, blah, blah's" about her handbags for an hour, what will this do for you? (Perhaps you'd think if you could bear it for one hour, you'd get laid?)

What is your goal? To tell them how cool you are or to ATTRACT them to you? If it's the latter, then consider thinking in terms of "How can my passion and my love for drumming positively INFLUENCE the person standing in front of me?" It's simple math. Read your initial post and count the number of "I's" you wrote compared to your reference of the second or third person. You typed "girl" once. Everything else is "me, me, me, me . . ."

You're having issues with communicating your passion because it has NOTHING to do with the person you are communicating with. The goal isn't to gain a passive observer of your passion, the goal is to RAISE THEIR level of passion for you and YOUR PASSION:

"Hey, what type of music are YOU into?" . . .
"Do YOU like live music?" . . .
"Would YOU like to see my band on Saturday night?" . . .
"Seriously? Laday Gaga? Why don't YOU come to ______ on Saturday night. Seeing a live band will change YOUR mind."
"Do YOU play music? Hey, I bet I could teach YOU to play drums in one sitting."
"Hey, I see a little rock and roller in YOU. I bet YOU'D make a kick ass drummer."
"Why don't YOU play the cowbell at our next rehearsal."

^This is a demonstration of your passion. This is a way to get HER involved with your passion. Most importantly, this is the way to get laid.

well. you have a great point in involving them in my own passions.

however. your making it out as if i'm some guy who is just bragging about being
a drummer and goes on and on about it, which isnt the case lol. I was talking
about myself so much in those posts BECAUSE, in case you haven't noticed, this
is a SELF HELP forum, of course im gonna be talking about myself lol.

There's nothing wrong with talking about what you love in this life, thats how
people get to know each other, by telling each other about themselves. And the
girl with the handbag example, thats a mild passion WITHOUT a PURPOSE, which
is equally important. If someone talked about their love for potted plants, sure
i would grow bored. but if they explained a purpose behind it in a charismatic way
such as helping the environment, it would certainly draw attention.

despite this stuff, i do thank you because you made a point, and that is to get them
involved. however, this can and has been done by being enthusiastic in the way
you talk. enthusiasm IS contagious. To be honest, the real reason i have had a
"problem" communicating my passion and purposes isnt because im trying to brag,
im no nube dude i know my shit, but because i just havent been interacting enough
thru it lately. thinking about it, everytime i've really shared deeply with a girl
about this stuff the results have been great.

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You don't get it but the good news is that in you're in a forum filled with similar minds.

From one drummer to another, I wish you lots of luck with your endeavors in music.