I've been dating this girl for about a month now, and i can see she's starting trying to lead wherever we bounce too. How can i maintain my alpha-male stance, and be the man. She's also using sex as a tool for her to try control me. PLEASE HELP

Turn the tables on her Z Nick!!

She withholds sex;you withhold sex(the dic).Don't do it blatantly by telling her.But tell her that you're busy on a night that she may want some.

We men have made the vajayjay more valuable than the dick because we chases it.

You need to play hard to get as women do with us.Its called being hot & cold(I forgot which PUA popularize the concept).1 minute,a woman would be compliant,then the next,she's unreliable,not giving sex,not calling on time.All those stratergies are tests by women to see how much she has the guy hooked,and to gain control.

We as men must reverse the roles and be unpredictable,be hot & cold,play hard to get,with hold sex,don't call her on time.

All the above alpha stratergies would give you bacc the control in the situationship.

Remember,play hard to get and let her chase you.With hold the sex until she begs.Let it be on your terms(sex)for a while until its bacc on mutual grounds.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
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Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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Hey what's up,

Yeah I've been through this before. As in, women trying to lead as well as holding out on sex/affection or whatever. The automatic response is to play games back, by holding out on sex/affection as well. There is a downside to this though, though logically this makes sense and all the dating books say that this is what to do. The truth is, it's the wrong answer and leads to misery...

As one takes a way sex/affection in order to control the other one, it will only lead to the other individual withholding sex/affection in order to gain control. The final product will be misery and basically no one getting laid. Controlling someone doesn't solve anything and another way to look at it, if you are busy trying to control someone and keep them doing what you want them to do, well in the end you just become their slave, because you are happy as long as they do what you want, you love them as long as they give you sex/affection, but as soon as they don't you are unhappy and no longer love(accept) them.

So you give your power to this individual and think that it is them that is making you unhappy... So you are left being a slave, your happiness and peace controlled by an external stimuli(in this case a person). What's more interesting, is it's not slavery to the "real" person, but to the imaginary version of that person in your mind. The real person, if you really study, probably doesn't consciously know she's even doing this, it's most likely just an automatic response to something going on around her.

Anyway, that's getting really really fucking deep. But that is how you correct it, simply by just being aware of it, it'll disappear. I used to have this problem and then finally figured out that I was just trying to control the person I was with, and like attracts like, she would then end up trying to control me. But it was my fault and I was the root cause for it ever existing. Once I figured that out, it hasn't been an issue for me. It took me a long time to figure out that it was me the whole time though.

Basically what I figured out that solved pretty much all my problems with women, is that when I stopped allowing my personal happiness to have anything to do with women. Well I was free of it. Before if women liked me I was happy, if they didn't like me, I was unhappy. Now I just like myself so it really doesn't matter if women like me or not, and because of this, I can't be controlled by them. What happens when you do this, they just seem to flock toward you. It's weird, you'd never think that, but most guys never get there because they want women/get laid more than they want freedom from needing it to be happy.

What I would recommend doing, if you think she's holding out on sex to control you. Just ask her. As in bring it up, and talk about it. Because that's an issue that needs to be addressed. But trying to turn the tables and control her, well, that road leads to no where, because you're either constantly going to have to work at that aspect of it, controlling her, and eventually it'll wear you out. Or she'll keep doing the same thing, so it's like both of y'all are pushing against each other and eventually you'll just both be stressed out and wore out and eventually the relationship is just going to end.

So I would just talk to her about it man and tell her how you feel and have a conversation about it. And if it doesn't stop("using sex as a tool for her to try control me"), then break up with her and go find someone that isn't going to manipulate you. But trying to manipulate her in return, that's not a relationship, that's a transaction.

Just my opinion, take it for checking and do what feels right for you. Just wanted to throw in my two cents from what I've learned in my personal experience.

You are so right Jakester.Despite me giving advice to the contrary,you're 100 fucking% right in your post.

I remember I tried holding out on sex then I eventually gave in(lol).It seems like she was able to hold out longer.

Eventually,none of us got laid for days and it fizzled out with me feeling like the looser.

I still advocate holding out on her and playing hard to get to a point.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

yeah i mean i used to do that, but the last few times i just realized that I was kind of wasting my time. I mean it was just frustrating and people can feel it when you play games or try to control someone, even if it's just subconscious. So it ended up being like a ping pong game or something, we were just both trying to control each other.

What I learned from that was to just not play that game back and just talk about it. I mean, if your in a relationship, sex is part of it, at least in the relationships I have. So my personal viewpoint is to just have a conversation about it and if that doesn't straighten things out, I'd rather be alone and in peace than be with someone and be frustrated.

Plus just thinking about a woman holding out on sex to try and train me or control me, that just makes me feel like less of a person. I mean I used to put up with it, but I just don't agree with that way of thinking and believe it's inhumane. But that's just my point of view. I mean, women want sex just as much as guys do so for a woman to go out of her way to try and control me, I just think long term, do I want to put up with this mess for the next week, month, year... forever? I'd rather be free to be me.

Again that's just my point of view on the subject from my personal experience. I'm not a master at this and I just kind of learn things as I go, so who knows, a year down the line, I might go back to thinking that playing the game right back is the way to go. Just didn't work for me in the past so I've been playing this route and it seems to be a whole lot smoother and easy going. But my quest now is not so much on pickup, its more on just learning about myself as a person, and this is just the route I take to explore that.

I think that - right there - is gold. A lot of guys need to start realizing that their lives are defined by who THEY are, and not by other people (i.e. women). Do not let someone else be the direct source of your happiness.

Now - granted, this is difficult to do at times, even impossible. Sometimes you cannot HELP but allow your mood to be affected by a certain someone. But you must know WHEN to break that rule. I.e., you two are madly in love, or she is someone truly special - not just some chic you're gaming. But for the most part, if you are coming from a scarcity mindset, any girl in your life will have more control over you than you realize.

How to reassert your alpha status? The SAME way you did when you were out at the club gaming. Approach the situation from an abundance mentality. If a girl is holding out on you - psht, whatever. It doesn't matter because in YOUR mind, you can get it anywhere, any time. Does that give you carte blanche to be an asshole and cheat on your girlfriend? No. Of course not. Does it mean you rub it in her face that you can go off and get it elsewhere? No way. But if you HAVE an abundance of women in your life (whether they are interested in you or not) the g/f will see this.

If she's holding out on you one night - say fine. No biggie. Call up a good female friend of yours and hang with her. You're not cheating (DO NOT CHEAT), you're just hanging out with one of your chic friends. The idea I'm trying to get across is a mindset shift. The more you THINK she has control over you, the more she actually will. The more women you DO have in your life, the less stressed you'll be about just one. If you're calm, cool, and easy going about it, eventually the g/f should come around to doing what you want to do, rather than dominate every social outing.

On a last note - if the girl is nuts and a serious control freak, you might want to think of cultivating other options. Remember. She's not the only woman in the world.

And finally - communication is key. If someone is unhappy - communicate. If the girl is worth being with, she will listen to you, take your concerns into account, and the two of you should be able to grow and better yourselves for it.

Q.

You are in a relationship! You are dating. You dont need to compete with her for the power!

What I do, I do my stuff, she can like it or live with it. If she wanna come along then fine. If not she has to accept that I may sarge someone else.

this is natural game forum, dude

you don't need to maintain, you just need to be

if it isnt working out or you're not happy that the girl has some kind of abusive behaviour like beying overly dominating or its making you feel unhappy in that, put things straight or leave her and go find the right one for you

thats only my opinion, tho

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<- Smooth, am I not?

I had the same kind of fight for control with a woman once.

Funny thing is, after a good fuck - it never really seemed to matter. A good root solved all tension, problems etc.

Sure it would prob. start up again the next day, but we have our game, they have theirs. As long as you can connect, get close - for even just a few minutes. Then thats sure as hell not worth worrying about, thats the goal!