ok so quick background, i broke up with my ltr but we kept fucking and didnt go near other people. after about a month and a half of being friends with benefits (the whole time she was telling me we shouldnt be having sex but she cant resist etc etc)
she tells me emotionally its too hard to have sex with me and not be my gf and then didnt talk to me for about 3 days (which is pretty unusual for her).

now we talk far less and have been hanging out only once a week. she is stil very flirty (we go to the gym together and so kino is very easy) but she is playing very hard to get
this is my game plan: im also going to play hard to get but make sure that when we do hang out i flirt alot and make sure she has heaps of fun (leaving her thinking about me and how much fun we have) while kinoing the shit out of her.

i dont think getting her into bed would be a problem but i think i wanna be close with her again, what do you guys think? will it work? anyone been in a similar situation?

Yes I have. I had a girlfriend for a 3 month span and after a pretty serious breakup we continued hooking up and whatnot for about a month before this unhealthy contact was cut short by her making a very similar argument about hooking up ruining her emotion and bla bla bla. A few weeks of me tryna win her back later, she got a new hookup soI started hooking up with other ppl and have moved on.

I'm going to be completely blunt and tell you the truth as I understand it in this situation.
1.) If you guys broke up there's a reason for that and whatever the reason was it probably hasnt changed in the last few weeks.
2.) You aren't that fun to overcome that 'issue' whatever it may be, she will think about you more if you ignore her than entertain her.
3.) If this relationship is truly right for both of you you will BOTH realize that not just you will.

So the solution:
Maybe stay friends with her, but bail on some plans, pursue other girls, work on yourself, hit the gym, learn some new skills, and generally treat her like you've moved on. If she truly cares about you this will scare her and make her fight to get you back. If she doesn't she's not worth it...dont you deserve somebody who would fight to get you back?

Personal experience:
I like to believe I followed my own advice (after failing for a few weeks trying to get her back). Eventually she began seriously texting me and even cheated on her bf once to get with me. She is now very serious with the bf but we still talk and I'm with other girls currently and I feel fine about the whole situation.

In conclusion:
Dont lose your self respect chasing her. If she's worth it, she will chase you and if she's not you're wasting your time anyway: go meet other girls.

Hope this helps
Check out my blog btw http://fierypickup.blogspot.com/
Stay Fiery

thanks man, so often u get that generic "move on" advice but that actually helped because you explained it.
and that makes alot of sense to me too, i am just going to tread water for the next few weeks and then i will probably just get some other hook ups and move on

Holy shit, I had this happening to me before!!! Dude, I can help you, have no fear, I'm here! hahaha

I agree with fierry, there's a reason why you guys broke up, find it. Whatever the reason is, it is important for you to stay calm and accepted it and then do something different, no matter how painful the reason is.

I would suggest not having sex so much, very hard to do, I've fallen trapped many times but sex is very intimate for a girl who was with you and it would just bring her memories, so chill and cool off or something.

I recommend just talking to her and listening to her. Have her talk 90% of the time. Just listen to her, let her know that whatever she says, you're interested and you're here for her. Give her the spotlight, make her feel appreciated, make her feel important, and sometimes tease her sexually so that you don't become just a friend or a therapist. But stand your ground and be ready to express your emotions when you have to, if you remain as hard to get or uncool and you're playing games, she will see through that and you'd just shot yourself in the foot. Be honest with yourself, your emotions, and with her. Be ready to take her hand and lead her, if she's not ready, don't push her. Just stay with her, be with her, and when she's ready, you will know when she opens up. When she does, support and embrace her, then move slowly.

Relationships are a whole different ballpark with different rules, because now you're not courting her anymore. You're already with her, and all it is, is letting go of your ego, compromise, and make sure you show her affection and love without any securities at all. Wow, I didn't know I'd be giving relationships advice since it's so heavy, but here it is my friend. Good luck.



- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

woa man, would you mind if i sent you a pm so i could talk about it with you in a bit more detail?
if yes that would be awesome

safety,

of course! why would I mind? I'm here to learn and help others at the same time, just talk to me through pm if you have any further questions.





- Nelson

_________________
F*ck it, let's do it

"In order to fill your cup, you must first empty your cup" - Bruce Lee

"Becoming great with women is a by product of becoming great yourself" - Cory Skyy

I'm pulling the no contact thing with my ex to try and get back with her I havent called txted or tried facebooking her. The problem is we are both in a marching band and see each other almost every day. I don't look her way or talk to her. We also both have similar friends in our social circle. How can I apply no contact with my ex if I see we see each other everyday? I want to make her bealive that I don't need her and I truly feel Tht I don't but I would like to win her back. I've been looking at other options as well. Any comments would be helpful.

I have gotten to the point with my ex where I have realized getting back with her would be bad news.
Hackysack how long have you been broken up and y do you want her back?

My advice on your situation would be to not txt or fb like you have been, but when you see her at marching practice still acknowledge her but do your best not to talk to her much. You don't want to come across like you are ignoring her on purpose so still say hi or whatever but otherwise just make it look like u are having too much fun to care about her

_________________
just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

Thanks for the tip. So ur saying stick with the small tlk. She has a flannel of mine at her house. If i was to ask her to bring it to me would Tht work or is Tht to much? I mean I want a good balance. I want her to see me as a high valued guy again. I want her to miss me. If it doesn't work out I'm fine with it. I can get girls no problem. Just have difficulties keeping them. I'd like to see if I can get this one back and keep her interested this time. I'll post u more details tomorrow.

Doesn't anyone read the rules anymore?

I should lock this thread, but I will make an exception and move it this time.

However, consider this your last warning.


-Roz

Roz if ur referring to me I apologize I'm new just getting used to things. I just wanted to speak to someone who was into the game and this looked like a related forum to the question I wanted answerd. If u could point me to a forum or tell me how to start my own that would be great! Thank You

yea sorry roz that was my mistake.

hackysack... what i am saying is that you should look to her like you have moved on and are no longer putting in effort... dont make it look like you are fishing for convo. if conversation happens then it happens but dont look for it. have fun with ohter peole in front of her.

are you still friends with your ex? because i still hang out with my ex on a weekly basis as friends, yea i still have some feelings for her but i have now realised that to keep the memories and our friendship good that i dont want to ruin it by trying to win her back. if i still want her back idk 3 years from now then yea i will try again but it is not worth it right now.

_________________
just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

Last night she texted me this "Heyy so like are you pissed off at me or something because you really shouldn't be, I don't want to be the couple who brakes up and avoids each other for the rest of their lives, do you?" I didn't reply so I'm starting to think I'm coming across with the right message.

You don't want her to think you are avoiding her or are angry at her.
You want her to think you are too busy with your amazing social life and overflow of women on your life.
I would let her simmer for a few days and then reply to her msg
"hey nah, just busy"
Something like that. Feel free to spruce it up but i would keep it short and uninteresting...
Let her sit on it and worry for a while, but don't be rude and push her into the arms of someone else.

_________________
just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

Ok sent her that exact message and she replied to me the fastest shes ever has. Lol but she said "What?" hahaha i think ill let her think about it for awhile.