So I picked up this HB 10 (My friends say she was an 11!) So very happy. We texted on and off. Then I bumped into her when I was out the other night. After some chatting she said she'd drop me home.

Now we hadn't kissed yet or anything so I don't think sex was the goal here. Anyway on the drive home she starts spilling to me about this guys she's seeing and how he's being an asshole to her. Then she proceeds to tell me she doesn't usually fall for guys because she's a player. Her exact words, "for example say you and I were dating, I'd be seeing 2 other guys at the same time, it's just how I am."

Shortly after, she proceeds to say," Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't imagine having sex with you," WTF shit test? or is this girl giving me all these IODs so she can friend zone me hardcore. It came out of nowhere, I just replied, " Yeah coz you can't imagine something so amazing, your head would explode". I mean she did agree to drive me home, and spent 20 minutes driving me around the city to chase my car keys. There was some sexual tension throughout the night, but only a little and it would come and go. Okay so could someone who speaks woman please translate what just happened for me.

It's called the friendzone and it happens to guys who try to get girls by being friendly instead of sexy. You have a lot to learn about the difference between what girls say they want, versus what they really want.

I don't think I'm too far in the friendzone do you? Considering it's the second time I've seen her. Is there a good way to push my way out of the friendzone next time I see her?

It's all about the attitude. If you act like a friend, she will treat you like a friend. If you act like a potential mate, she will treat you like such.
She can't see having sex with you because you haven't given out any sexual vibe toward her. You may have made a few comment here and there, maybe even had some subtle tension, but for the most part you are coming across to her as a platonic friend. Platonic means sexless. You want to reverse that, become sexual. Kino, body language, sexual comments, stuff like that. Make your interest in her known and always consider sex the goal. You can't be overly polite or sexless, that route only leads to the friendzone.

Freeze her out or completely change the topic if she texts you anything that connects with the friend zone, I was thinking that when she told you she couldn't imagine having sex with you, I would of replied with something like yea I can be mind blowing, not the best line but it would probably get the point across

shit testing you dude!!!!! I can't not imagine having sex with you????? pua: who said we were going to have sex, you are not even my type, we are just friends, that is it, i know you are a player, i don't consider my self a player but what i do is i date i do not settle, most people settle and overlook what they are looking for in a person, right now i am seeing 5 girls, it takes 6 months to get to know somebody i do not like to waste my time, i am honest with them, i tell them right now i am seeing other people till i find what i am looking for, but once i find a girlfriend i date her exclusively...


But Kind of too late, you failed... A girl that tell you she is a player all whatever, is because she does not look at you as a mate... she is just kind of letting you know she does not like you or she just want you to be part of the guys she is seeing, which i doubt... A rich man does not have to say he is rich...


I am a player in a million years i would not tell a girl i am a player, unless i do not want her..

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I'm going to have to disagree with the other folks here, you're not in the friend zone yet (or weren't when she said it, you may have failed the test). According to Mr. L. Rx, if a woman mentions sex with you, even if it's in the negative, it means she's thought about it and that's a good sign. A woman who is completely uninterested wouldn't say that.

I agree, you should of replied with

'Who says we were having sex?' and took it from there

Shoulda! woulda! coulda! Will remember all this for next time. Shame, I think I ruined it as she is absolutely stunning. I'll send her a birthday message tomorrow, and ask her to text me when she's free to hang out. Apart from that I think it's, freeze out o' clock!

PS Saw her last night (she was working again). She told the bouncer to let me and my friend in, as the club is a little exclusive. I was touching her and whispered in her ear as I went in, 'hurry up and come inside, I have a surprise for you'

She was so into it!

Unfortunately by the time she did come inside I was pretty drunk. I never usually drink, so stupid of me to do it when I knew I'd be seeing her. We had a chat, but nothing special at all (calibration had taken a vacation). We lost each other and so left without a goodbye.

AnywayI kissed 3 other attractive girls to make myself feel better. Is that shit inner game to cover my hurt/losses with more women. I don't think that it's healthy. I feel a little better, but I feel like I screwed up because I didn't get what I really wanted. So it's not really success.

Thoughts on this? especially the facebook message I plan on sending her tomorrow

Sound advice and very true. You could have frame shifted with the disqualifier "Hey your not there yet" as a reply then moved on quickly with a question to refocus her attention. See my post on "Stealthing DHV's" as it can be used to prevent disqualifiers from being taken as a negative challenge.

The thing is that now is kind of harder he lost the mojo/momentum... She may not see you as very confident/skills now dlv...my opinion..

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I think she is still trying to categorize you. It seems she is leaning towards friendzoning you, but testing to see if she is wrong.

I agree with the comment about Mr. L. Rx. If she mentions sex it's a good thing. And I also agree with his take on gradients and that you are IN the early stages of an escalation that she started for you (As a test). How you respond and your actions around her after she cracked the wall for you will determin if you get to take your banana boat to tuna town, or a long walk off a short pier.

When a hot girl tells you she is a player, that's woman speak for "i'm totally thinking about having sex with you, but you aren't my typical type of fling so I'm not sure how it would be".

Best response is to ignore her questions and answer them with other questions of a sexual nature or change of topic to more sexual nature all togher.

When she starts talking about some dude who is pissing her off, that is a seperate intertwined test to see if you respond with good advice (friendzone answer), negative bullshit (fuck buddy failure) or calm change of subject and sexual reframe (fuck buddy pass).

You saying "only if you want mind blowing sex" or whatever most likely came across as "HEY!!! How dare you make it sound like sex with me would be bad!" Which is kind of a needy guy flag. If a girl ever said to me "i can't imagine having sex with you" I would calmly smirk, look her dead in the eye and just say "that's because I haven't shown you that side of me yet". done.

It build sexual curiosity and also reframs your position of dominence "I only have sex with people I choose, and I haven't chosen you YET".

And if any part of you is saying "what the hell I've been ramping up the sexual tension all night!" The truth is you have not. You've been trying, but not succeeding. That's why I always say ignore the "feeling" of sexual tension, and go by physical IOI's and relentless escalation. More often than not the "intense sexual tension" you feel is only on your end.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

True. Lost moment. So basically everything I do now is a DLV.

Psych3r. Everything you had to say was amazing. Many of the people who posted (and I'm grateful for all the advice) nailed one or two things on the head, you brought a whole box of nails and built a house. Amazed at how you put yourself in my shoes, summed up the whole situation beautifully.

UPDATE: So I sent her a birthday message on facebook. Nothing over the top, just a sentence or two, 'happy b'day dreams come true blabla smiley face'.

So I think that's it friends, freezeout time. If anything changes in the next few months I shall let you all know, but hopefully I'll be telling you about other SHB 11s by then .

Most of all this is not game over! I realized I can't lose it, fretting over one SHB I almost scored, though bombed out on. What I had was a great learning experience, which I'm so grateful for. Afterall we should all be aiming to have SHB 11s as our norm, right? Thanks to you guys I will be able to handle it much more effectively next time and will think of you all when I'm making love to my SHB11 concubines

i never say everything you do now is dlv, i had a similar situation with my current girl, we been together 4 years... so you still can get her... I was referring to your work is harder now..That is all...

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