having trouble establishing more intimate relations



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 5:21 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 8:25 am
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Ok so let me just explain that I just turned 19 and am entering my 2nd year of college.

My life has drastically changed this past year in College, my confidence has increased a shitload and i've been reading about and trying to execute PUA material when I go out. Reading about PUA material really made me realize alot of stuff about myself I didn't know- It made me realize I wasn't confident at all back in my High School days.

But, here is the issue-
I noticed that I scored more chicks in High School than I do now. In High school I was the quiet yet outgoing guy- like a lot of people would call me shy (i was) but I wouldn't hang out with geeky people or 'quiet' people- i'd hang out with just about everyone- It was when you got to know me better that I would become more open. I even had a horrendous haircut- i'm not sure how I got with so many chicks being a 'shy guy'. Not to mention I have been told I am good looking- When I'd walk into classrooms I'd see girls looking at me while I walk past.

However I never really officialy became 'gf/bf' status with any girl my senior year. I was on the verge of it with every girl though. I had been dating the Homecoming Queen for about 3 months-I screwed that one over. I even had some girls talking shit to each other because I couldnt decide who I was going to take to Prom (they still hate each other 1 year later..) .. The girl I took to Prom I stopped talking to her during the summer, and she basically implies she wants to have sex with me everytime we talk now (i regret having taken the other girl)- the one I didn't take, doesn't even talk to me anymore. I think I should mention that I've only made out with one girl in my life- even though I've had so many after me, SHE was the one that made the 'make out' approach.


- Now in College, I read about all this PUA stuff and wanted to become more confident with a girl. I'm not sure what exactly has happened though. I havn't even gone out with a girl with intentions to hook up since maybe 8 months ago, and I've been going out almost every damn weekend. Maybe it's because College is so different than High School? I really don't know. I don't have problems having conversations with people like I did in High School anymore, my confidence is higher - I can actually have a lot of eye contact going on now (back then I didn't)- I make more physical approaches, kino more- back then I wouldn't do any of that, I was shy to make physical approaches to women.


However- I THINK one of the things that separates me now to when I was in High School is that I am not much of an 'emotional' guy anymore. Actually I don't think i'm really emotional at all. Back then I had a lot of feelings and kinda used to be able to get offended easily, and I had more feelings for other people - nowadays It's like I just don't really give a fuck. I think I need to start establishing more emotional/intimate relations because I think this is what I've been having problems on- I havn't really been able to connect with girls at an emotional level at all.

I think one of the major mistakes I make is that when a girl is talking to me I tend to make fun of her for things she did wrong or I tell her like 'you should've done that or this!', I basically joke with her a lot and make her seem like a lot of things she's been doing have been wrong to MY eyes. I don't get a connection going.

Not to mention I've also been making a lot out of myself in College, about two years ago my brother taught me how to DJ (he opened for a lot of famous dj's in town), and I have gotten into the art. I've been really successful and even have about 700 fans on a facebook page, I've opened for world famous dj's and am playing in clubs or parties just about every weekend. I've even picked up producing and may even start sending songs out to labels soon. Not being cocky or anything but isn't this supposed to sort of cause more interest to a girl? I don't like talking about this to girls though because most of them already know. Girls aren't the reason why I do it either so don't think that (i love this).

I'm just trying to think of WHY I would attract more girls in High School than I do now.

Can someone seem to think of any solutions or tips that would work for situations like these? I believe this is what I've really been struggling on. I believe I have a lot of other problems though - i just can't remember them specifically. I definitely need to become way more physical too, even though I have improved in this aspect lately.

I just don't understand why I would attract so many girls back then compared to now, even girls I hardly ever talked to! I don't get it! This is something I've really been thinking about lately that is making me frustrated- what went wrong? It seems like my 'shy boy' personality worked more than me 'confident' one- but I must be doing something wrong..

Sorry for you to have read my blabbing but I really need help. If you guys can help out i'd really appreciate it a lot : ) thank you so much.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 6:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 9:58 pm
Posts: 3
I wont go into too much detail on this, but it sounds like the girls at your high school started treating you like a prize, they were essentially competing with eachother for your attention. Maybe go for a different approach, be more laid back, when you go to a party just hang back and chill with mates. Make eye contact and smile but dont take any action. See if they come to you.


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