I am hanging with a girl tonight who is always like "im not pretty im not sexy blah blah blah.. So how do i work her? Shee's coming over my house to watch a movie and she has seen me as a friend forever but really wanna land a kiss close with her

Why does she say that? You ll need to figure out. If she got low self esteem Id say you need to qualify her and be careful with negs.

How can I qualify her? should I tell her how beautiful she is and stuff? idk if its low selfesteem or just wanting attention. I just dont wanna end up being the "Friend" she goes to for reassurance and then going to screw someone else

be sexual, dont apolagize, let her know what you want, and if she doesnt want it then she shouldnt hang around you cause your a sexual pervert thats going to devour her. Unless shes religious or has hang ups about sex, shell cave in if you can be confident enough in yourself and your sexual desire for her.

thank you 60 years of challenge

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He said he believes in being fair so he wanted to let me know in advance that he
is going to seduce me

i feel like this is every chick... they want to hear that they arent all the bad things they think they are, but you cant be Dr. Phil to them all night either. they want to hear it a few times but they need to feel it.

well like mystery says treat a 10 like a 5 and a 5 like a 10 and if she has low self esteem then she proberly doesnt hear that she is pretty and if she does hear it a lot then she just doesnt believe it. if she is just fishing for compliments dont continue to bait the line but find out for sure if thats what it is

Never compliment excessively. Your best bet is to drop one or two compliments throughout the night in very indirect ways. I'll give you an example from the courting stages of this girl I ended up seeing a couple months back. I'd give you a routine but this kind of compliment needs to be done spontaneously:

ex:

HB9: I need to find another job..

-enjoi-: why don't you go apply at this really high end shoe retailer? I know the owner, I could give you a recommendation

HB9: really that would be awesome! Should I submit my resume by e-mail or call?

-enjoi-: definitely go in person, make sure you talk to the owners. they're really picky about who they hire, you'll only ever see beautiful girls in there.

HB9: Oh then i don't know if I should even apply...

-enjoi-: you'll do fine

HB9: (giggle) you really think so?

-enjoi-: wink & change of topic

It's not the most subtle but it feels organic. Note the change of topic... do not sit there and elaborate on what you said. You said it once, she'll think about it if you leave it at that. She'll smile. If you go into detail you fail. You don't want to sit there and lather her with compliments.

I honestly wouldn't do this more than once or twice in the night though

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Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls.

Yeah, be careful with negs mate.. The other day I negged a girl (who apparently had very low self-esteem, I found out later) to tears. Not really the outcome I was rooting for..

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Quantity. Because someday, you will find quality

I always say "if you want to think that, go ahead. *I'd* fuck you." Then I do it. You're not Captain Save-A-Ho. Treat women as they want to be treated. If she thinks she's a worthless swamp donkey, then be an asshole with brief spots of humanity and interest thrown in. Being an asshole doesn't mean insulting her, it just means racheting up your inner frat boy. Unleash the Id!

If her frame is strong and confident, then nix the asshole part and make yourself a monolith of self-assuredness with invalidating negs peppered throughout conversation. Imagine your Id at a job interview. You still appear impossible to tame but allow it anyway. Keyword here is "allow." Nothing happens without your consent.

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Only one thing could cure this: Dance Music.

what about...
edit: nevermind, i think teh above post is brilliant

tell her she is beautiful, then explain why--explain to her why you think she is beautiful...be sincere-it will work, she will love it. just don't turn into a mosquito

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We are puppets and clowns entertaining each other

I agree with Art Sandusky. If a girl has a low self esteem no matter what compliment you are going to give her she is not going to accept it. It will be waste of time.
On the other hand girls with high self esteem will not accept and asshole but they need a bit of neg as a reassurance that the guy they are dating is worth their attention. A person that is respecting himself .. this is where the word "allow" comes in.

I had a girl who was like this aswell. The way I dealt with it was be really over the top and sarcastic, then switch into almost "Boyfriend mode" it worked nicely took me ages to come up with, example:

Watching some Model show or movie, y'know something with Beautiful Women in it.

Look at her, look like your thinking or contemplating something

"Y'know, I could really see you on this show, that'd be awesome"
"Nah, I'm not pretty enough"

(Next bit, say this really over the top and sarcastically)

"Oh, no of course not, your right, you could never be on this. I bet kids just run away when they see you, people slam doors and windows shut as fast as possible just so they don't get a glimpse of you."

Get closer as you say it. Stare into her eyes and say

"Look, say what you want about it. I find you very, very pretty and sexy"

Smile, go to Kiss-close.

J'ai Fini.


I'm trying to find a way to portray this over a internet forum, I know how to say it, but not describe it if you understand that. Flamboyant is probaly the best word to describe it.


Good Luck. Let me know how it goes.

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To Succeed You Have to Stop being Ordinary and Start being Legend...Wait For It....Dary!!!

If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.

Live for the Moment, Never see a Chance you didn't take!

I have had to deal with this sometimes. It is so annoying because they are clearly cute and attractive. I understand that some girls just want some attention. I am excluding those from my advice because those are another issue.
What I find with these women with low self-esteem is that they genuinely believe that they are not cute or pretty or whatever. I find that they are tired of hearing someone tell them that they are attractive when they do not FEEL it. It is almost as if someone were to try to give you food when you are not hungry or water when you are not thristy. Think about it, no matter what they tell you, you will not want what they are offering (unless you are a glutton lol).
So I am attacking this problem differently. Instead of telling them how beautiful they are (no matter how true you are when you tell her that), I see that you have to tell her things that other people do not compliment her on. For instance, compliment her on her characteristics like her sweet voice, intelligence, fashion, ideas, etc. Whatever it is, keep it away from her looks. Now if that still does not work, I have no idea what you can tell her; maybe go with the "i dont know what it is about u that is attracting me to you, but i want to find out." IDK, lol.
I am notfrom the school of thought that thinks that you cannot compliment a women. I think women love compliments. You just cant over-do-it. It must be done as a reward and in a confident manner like you are valuable so it does not matter if you look good.

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(I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY!)

if im ever in this situation again im doin what scb said.

awesome comment bhoy!

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"Man is free; yet we must not suppose that he is at liberty to do everything he pleases, for he becomes a slave the moment he allows his actions to be ruled by passion. "
- Giacomo Casanova

TIOCFAIDH AR LA