| Been flirting with 9 for a couple years. She had a long-term bf, he and I were friends too, I never would've crossed the line and neither would she, and we both knew. Light flirting only. Outside of the occasional extremely inappropriate physical contact. When she finally became single this summer, I was in a relationship. She kept throwing herself at me and trying to get me to be physical with her, over a fairly lengthy period. I regularly rebuffed her because I wished to be faithful.
My relationship just ended. 9 really pissed me off with some crap she pulled a few weeks ago, and last week I talked with her about it. She felt bad and offered to take me to dinner to make up for it. I refused because, I told her, I had no desire for a pity date. She said it wasn't that. I said in that case I'd take HER to dinner. She said no, because it was a friend date and not out of interest. I said I didn't need that in my life right now. She offered to show me her boobs. I didn't believe her, so she spent a while going through her phone and showing me pics of her body. She got some friends to talk me into agreeing to do dinner with her next week, so I did.
A friend today who knows her better than I told me it sounds like she surely intends for this to be friends-only. I don't have interest in that so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I saw 9 tonight and said, "I've been through a lot over the last couple of days and am realizing that I'm still too screwed up from my relationship ending and I shouldn't be going on dates with anyone yet. I really appreciate the offer, and I was really looking forward to it, but...it's just too soon for me. I need to just spend time with people close to me. I'm sorry. I hope you understand." She played really cool, but spent a good while repeatedly trying to keep me from backing out, insisting that it was only a friend date and nothing more, but also turning all my statements around on me. "So you can't hang out with other people one on one?" "So you can't chill with someone?" "So you can't just go out and have a good time?" "So you shouldn't see your friends?" She kept telling me that we've been friends a long time and never hung out one on one and don't know much about each other, and she's available that night and thinks this would be a good opportunity to have fun and learn more about one another, but if it's too soon for me then I can just call her another time.
She played it all so cool when she was saying it that I almost felt outbluffed and am not sure where I should go after this. I pretended to be deeply conflicted and told her she should give me a day to think about it. How do I approach the remainder of this? I don't have any interest in wasting an entire evening with this girl if there's nothing to come of it and I could be taking a real date. But I have trouble believing for real that there's just seriously no interest here. Thoughts?
|