I went out last night in the my citys main club, a few thousand people fit in there. I watched some Leslie Nielsen movies as I was getting ready and it put me in a great mood. I looked good, I smelled good, I was bordering on tipsy, I was with good friends, I felt good. I was comfortable and having fun.

Inspired by Nielsen perhaps, I developed a routine on the spur of the moment. A target was eyeing the f@ck out of me as I was walking past so I took her hand and I gave her a twirl, pulled her close and spoke in her ear really quietly"big fat penguin".

She laughed and asked "did you just say big fat penguin?" and I said "Yeah, it's a good ice-breaker" at which point she laughs her ass off! I then told her silly facts about animals and stories from my time on safari (DHV). She then puts her hand around my waist, under my jacket, and says I have to meet her friends.

We never got that far as there was a nice little alcove free. I spent thirty minutes in there with her, kiss closed and number closed. She sent me a text just before I logged on here saying she wants me to go to the pet shop with her today to pick out a new pet.

I used this same opener on six girls in total and kiss closed and number closed them all. I haven't text any of the others yet. Whether it was down to the line or just being on form, I don't know. I went out with the intention of having fun and it worked. I came across as the fun guy.

Feel free to use anything ^ if you think you can make it work for you. I would recommend watching Family Guy or something similar as you get ready, comedy really does put you in a better mind frame!

- Bandit

well played sir

I shall try it out down here and see how it goes.


Which animal did you/will you recommend? goldfish perhaps?